Trials
MRVZ Lyrics

I close my eyes and think back on the times
The singer reflects on their past experiences

When I heard my old man, slamming doors, breaking walls around the house
The singer remembers the aggressive behavior of their father

Too scared to sleep in my room
The singer was afraid of the violence happening in their home

Knowin' it'll be my turn soon, so I was creeping with my blanket to the couch
The artist was anticipating becoming a victim of their father's violence

Tryna get away from all the yellin' and fightin' comin' from my parents bedroom
The artist was trying to escape the noise of their parents' arguments

Mother crying, glass smashing on the floor
The singer was witness to their mother's distress and destruction of property

Little me, tears running down my eyes, while I'm hidin' under my blanket
The singer was deeply affected by their traumatic experiences and would hide under their blanket to try and feel safe

Praying that my Dad don't open up that door
The artist was terrified of their father's actions if he were to discover them hiding

There were times when I would try to help my Mother
The artist attempted to intervene in their parents' arguments in order to protect their mother

Tryna bust into their room, look at my Dad yellin' daddy please stop
The artist attempted to intervene and stop their father's violent behavior

He slammed that door upon my leg and jammed my leg up
The singer's father physically harmed them when they tried to intervene

All I remember is this man is detox
The artist recognizes their father's drug addiction and how it contributed to his violent behavior

Rappin' raps back in school, I was tryna be hot
The singer was interested in pursuing music as an escape from their difficult home life

No instrumentals on the phone, the boys had to beatbox
The singer and their peers had to improvise in order to pursue their musical interests due to a lack of resources

Back when all of my g's really wanted to be cops
The singer's peers were interested in becoming police officers

Didn't realise my uncle house was the real weed spot
The artist was unaware that their uncle was involved in drug dealing

But I don't say it much
The artist doesn't talk about their difficult past experiences often

Tho I got a lot to say it's never weighin' up
The singer has a lot to talk about regarding their past experiences, but it's difficult to express everything they feel

Mkayy playing melodies that got me stayin' up
The singer found comfort and solace in creating music

Promise this ain't a sad story that I'm makin' up
The artist assures their audience that their experiences are genuine and not fabricated

My brother really had to act pretending he was eatin' lunch
The artist's family was struggling financially and had to pretend to have meals

But nobody else sees my life
The artist feels that others don't fully understand their experiences

Don't see the wrong they just see what's right
Others only see the positivity and success in the singer's life without recognizing their struggles

They don't see all of my struggles all my Trials and Tribulations
People don't fully understand the adversity the artist has faced

What I'm facin', they just seein' who I am so let's face it
Others only see the singer's present self without understanding the struggles that shaped them

Early '97 the 24th of the 2nd
The singer's birthdate

Born into a blessing called life, came with some lessons
The singer recognizes that despite the struggles in their life, being born and living is a gift

Stressin' and depression, many fights and aggression
The artist experienced mental health struggles and witnessed a lot of conflict in their family

Parents partied every week there was no food up in the kitchen
The artist's parents prioritized partying over providing basic necessities like food

What you know about them maggots on the kitchen floor
The singer describes the living conditions and lack of cleanliness in their home

Watered down tomato sauce, because we couldn't get no more
The singer's family didn't have enough money for basic ingredients, resulting in a low quality of life

You know you have no food when there's only tins up in the pantry
The artist's family had a lack of variety in the food they had access to

Didn't even have that, so family visits came in handy,
The artist's family had to rely on the support of extended family to meet their basic needs

Many times went to sleep, empty stomach feeling angry
The artist often went to bed hungry, feeling frustrated and powerless

But this was just a lifestyle for a kid raised in Mangere
The singer recognizes that their experiences were shaped by their environment and upbringing in a low-income area

I know it's sad sadly, but South Auckland raised me
The artist's hometown of South Auckland played a significant role in shaping their identity

Hot water on my Weet-Bix with some butter really made me
The singer recalls the simplicity of their meals and how grateful they were for even a small amount of food

Your normal kid in NZ would dream to play for AB's
The singer recognizes that their aspirations and opportunities were different from those of other kids in New Zealand

But that was pretty hard for me, when all I seen was KC's
The singer saw a lot of violence and crime in their community, making it difficult to imagine a brighter future

Family full of snakes, but they the realist ones I've ever met
The artist acknowledges the toxicity in their family, but recognizes the loyalty and authenticity of some family members

Still I raise my glass high, and live my life with no regrets
The artist chooses to focus on the positive aspects of their life and move forward without dwelling on the past

Born into the hood, it's only right I'm from around the way
The singer identifies with their neighborhood and how it has shaped them

Family in the cells had all of us counting down the days
The singer's family members have been incarcerated, resulting in a lot of tension and fear

Hard to keep a smile, had to learn to put my frown away
The artist has had to develop resilience and learn to hide their struggles in order to navigate life

Parents couldn't find a job, still managed to find a way
Despite a lack of job opportunities, the artist's parents worked hard to provide for their family in any way they could

I'm talkin' bout the times back on christmas eve
The artist is recalling a specific Christmas memory

Peekin' for the presents there was nothing but a christmas tree
The singer didn't receive many presents and had to find joy in other aspects of the holiday

Parents sat us down and talked to me and my brothers
The artist's parents had a conversation with them about the difficulties the family was facing

Boys this years a bit hard, but we still got each other
The singer's parents emphasized the importance of family support and togetherness during tough times

That always stuck with me
The message from their parents has remained with the singer throughout their life

So if you running this race with me then run with me
The singer challenges others to join them on their journey, whether it be in music or life in general

I ain't tryna hear about things that you done for me
The artist doesn't want to hear empty words from others, but values people's actions and support

I'm talking bout the real ones that always trust in me
The artist recognizes the importance of having a support system comprised of those who believe in them

Quick to speak my mind, yeah that's just that head rush in me
The singer is outspoken and forthright, which is part of their personality

If you ain't tryna hear these words atleast hear my heart
The singer hopes that others can empathize and understand their message even if they don't agree with it

Was really blood, sweat and tears from the very start
The artist has put a lot of effort and emotion into their journey

I wouldn't change a thing because it made us who we are
The artist recognizes that their struggles have contributed to their identity and values

I'm just here to take over now
The artist is confident and determined to succeed in their music career

I'm sick of always taking part
The singer is tired of being a passive participant in their life and music.