Jaded
Maggi Pierce And E.J. Lyrics

Southside six, got these demons in my head
I have these inner demons that consume me and haunt me continuously.

All these different creatures at the foot at my bed
My fears and anxieties swarm around me while I sleep, leaving me in a constant state of unease.

All you other people just like playing pretend
The people in my life pretend to care but don't truly understand and can't relate to my struggles.

When I was a kid I chose to cut up my hand
As a child, I was already experiencing a great deal of emotional pain and took it upon myself to inflict physical pain as a coping mechanism.

Ever since that day, I've had a voice in my head
The pain and trauma from that experience was so great that it created a constant inner dialogue that has been with me ever since.

Lonerd up in school cause all the kids wished I was dead
Growing up, I was bullied and isolated by my peers, making me feel like I didn't belong or have any worth.

Anger up in my past, lead me to be misread
My past experiences have made me bitter and closed off, causing people to misunderstand me and my actions.

All of this shit, people couldn't believe
The amount of trauma and pain I have gone through is so immense that people find it hard to comprehend.

Didn't think people were torturing me
Despite everything I was going through, others couldn't see or didn't care about the torment I was experiencing.

Wouldn't have seen if wasn't for me
I had to go through it all myself in order to truly understand and recognize the magnitude of my struggles.

It should've been me, it should've been me
I often feel like I'm the only one who truly understands my pain, and sometimes wish that others could experience it so they could empathize better.

I cannot say that I'd help you
Although I know how it feels to be in pain, I'm not sure if I'm capable of helping someone who's going through the same thing.

If you've felt the way that I've felt too
I recognize that others may also struggle with inner demons and emotional pain similar to mine.

You would be helpless, you would be mindless
The experience of dealing with these inner demons can be all-consuming and leave one feeling powerless and lost.

Empty lil cockpit without a pilot
These feelings can be like flying aimlessly through life without direction or purpose, feeling lost and alone.

Where was you flying, where was you dying
During these times, one can feel like they are going through the motions but not really living or growing in any meaningful way.

Don't you dare lie to me, I do not buy it
I can see through pretense and don't appreciate people who aren't authentic with me.

I could not retry it
Even if I wanted to, there is no way I could go back and change the experiences that have shaped me.

I just did something you couldn't believe
Despite everything, I've managed to persevere and overcome unimaginable struggles that others couldn't begin to comprehend.

And I really hope that you have room for me
I hope that despite my struggles and faults, others will still accept me and give me a chance to be a part of their lives.

You could not say that you'd help me
Just as I'm not sure if I'm capable of helping others, I worry that others wouldn't be able to help me if I needed it.

Cause all that you wish is to be free
Others prioritize their own freedom and happiness over helping me or anyone else who's struggling.

All that you want is to leave me
Despite their supposed love and care for me, others may still wish to abandon me in my time of need.

So go live your life bitch, carefree
In a moment of frustration and anger, I wish for those who don't understand or care about my pain to just leave me alone and focus on themselves.

Tryna bring me down I think it wants me dead
These inner demons and struggles can feel like they are trying to destroy me and bring me to a dark place where I can't find my way out.

Is it my subconscious or a demon again
I can't always tell if the negative thoughts and feelings I experience are just my own mind or if there's something more sinister at play.

You don't got the hate to be my friend
Despite the support and care of others, it can be hard to trust and connect with people when I'm dealing with so much inner turmoil.

Tryna fuck me up, might relapse again
I worry that the negative thoughts and feelings will become too much to handle and I'll fall back into old coping mechanisms to numb the pain.