A Fine Romance
Mel Torme Lyrics
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A fine romance, my friend, this is.
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes.
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.
A fine romance, you won't nestle.
A fine romance, you won't wrestle.
I've never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants.
I never had the chance.
A fine romance, my good fellow.
You take romance. I'll take jello.
You calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean.
At least they flap their fins to express emotion.
A fine romance, with no quarrels,
With no insults, and all the morals.
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France.
I never get the chance.
This is a fine romance.
A fine romance, with no kisses.
A fine romance, my friend, this is.
True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has.
We don't have half the thrills that "The March of Time" has.
A fine romance, with no clinches.
A fine romance, with no pinches.
You never give the orchids I send a glance.
No, you like cactus plants.
This is a fine romance.
The song “A Fine Romance” by Mel Torme is a humorous take on a less than thrilling romance. The lyrics describe a relationship that lacks passion, intimacy, and excitement. The phrases, “A fine romance, my friend, this is,” and “This is a fine romance,” that are repeated several times throughout the song carry a sarcastic tone. It’s evident that the singer is not content with the relationship, and the repeated use of “fine” implies the opposite of what it means.
The lyrics compare the dull relationship to that of “hot tomatoes,” which symbolizes passion and excitement. However, the other person is described as “cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.” The line, “You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France,” implies that the person is not interested in committing to the relationship fully. The last stanza states how true love should have the “thrills that a healthy crime has,” which is a humorous take on passionate love. The song’s overall tone is cynical, and it’s evident that the romance is less than satisfactory.
Line by Line Meaning
A fine romance, with no kisses.
Our relationship lacks passion and intimacy, despite being considered a romance.
A fine romance, my friend, this is.
Despite the lack of physicality, we still have a romantic connection.
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes.
We should be passionate and enthusiastic in our romantic relationship.
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.
However, you are emotionally distant and unresponsive.
A fine romance, you won't nestle.
You are not affectionate or cuddly in this relationship.
A fine romance, you won't wrestle.
You are not passionate or playful in this relationship.
I've never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants.
I have never been able to get physically close enough to you to muss up your clothing.
I never had the chance.
I have been denied the opportunity to experience physical intimacy with you.
A fine romance.
Despite its shortcomings, our relationship is still considered a romance.
A fine romance, my good fellow.
Our relationship is still cordial, despite the lack of romance.
You take romance. I'll take jello.
You are not interested in the romantic aspect of our relationship, while I am.
You calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean.
You are emotionally detached and unresponsive.
At least they flap their fins to express emotion.
Even though the seals are cold-blooded creatures, they still show more emotional expression than you do.
A fine romance, with no quarrels.
Our relationship lacks emotional conflict or tension.
With no insults, and all the morals.
Despite the lack of passion, we still maintain a moral standard of behavior towards each other.
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France.
You are difficult to woo or win over in this relationship.
I never get the chance.
I have been prevented from pursuing a more intimate and romantic relationship with you.
This is a fine romance.
Despite the challenges, our relationship is still considered a romance.
A fine romance, with no clinches.
Our relationship lacks physical closeness or embracing.
A fine romance, with no pinches.
Our relationship lacks playfulness or teasing behavior.
You never give the orchids I send a glance.
You do not acknowledge or appreciate the romantic gestures I make towards you.
No, you like cactus plants.
You prefer to keep your emotional distance, like a prickly cactus plant.
This is a fine romance.
Despite the lack of passion and physicality, our relationship is still considered a romance.
Lyrics © Kanjian Music, BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group, RESERVOIR MEDIA MANAGEMENT INC
Written by: Jerome Kern, Dorothy Fields
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind