Don't
Michael (J) White - (UK) Lyrics

I sometimes look back over my mistakes
Reflecting on the errors I've made in the past

Remembering the rules I tried not to break
Recalling the principles I worked hard to follow

For God's sake
Expressing frustration or plea for understanding

I think about the toll it takes
Considering the emotional and mental burden it carries

To try to stay real in a world that's fake
Struggling to maintain authenticity in a deceitful world

I imagine all the hours I spent lying awake
Imagining the sleepless nights spent contemplating

Pondering the kind of man that I would one day make
Reflecting on the kind of person I aspire to become

For fuck's sake, sometimes it's hard not to break
Expressing frustration and difficulty in staying strong

Trying to be a good father, husband, son and mate
Striving to fulfill the roles of a responsible family member

I sometimes see the mirror looking back at me
Observing my reflection with introspection

Pondering the kind of dad I turned out to be
Reflecting on the type of father I have become

I always wonder just what kind of man they see
Curious about the impression I leave on others

When they look at me trying so desperately
When they observe my efforts and struggles

To provide them with everything that they will ever need
To ensure their every necessity is met

While making sure they know they mean the world to me
Communicating their immense importance in my life

But I sometimes crumble like the leaves off a tree
Occasionally breaking down like fallen leaves

And I just hope that they don't see
Wishing they do not witness my vulnerability

I try to hide my face so they don't see the pain
Attempting to conceal my emotional distress

I do my best to show the sun when in my heart it's rain
Putting on a façade of happiness despite inner turmoil

Put on a happy face so that they never take the blame
Presenting a cheerful demeanor to protect them from guilt

And keep on smiling and hoping that they just do the same
Continuing to appear joyful and hoping they follow suit

Coz regret is a stranger thing like the Mind Flayer
Guilt and remorse are unfamiliar and destructive forces

It makes you question everything at every layer
Causing doubt and scrutiny in all aspects of life

And it hits you like bad news from a soothsayer
Impacting you with devastating revelations

Or finding out you're in a game but that you're not the player
Discovering you are not in control of your own destiny

And choice is like a coin toss
Decisions are uncertain and unpredictable

You choose heads or tails
Making a choice between two unpredictable outcomes

Sit back and watch as it plays out and hope it doesn't fail
Observing the consequences and wishing for success

Made it in good faith but didn't have the details
Acted with sincerity but lacked necessary information

Feel like a failure just as useless as a ripped sail
Experiencing a sense of worthlessness and disappointment

Then I collapse like a house of straw
Falling apart and succumbing to pressure easily

Blown down by the big bad wolf that you saw
Overwhelmed by a formidable and destructive force

When I lost my shit, slammed the door and fell to the floor
Reacting impulsively, expressing anger, and feeling defeated

Now I'm falling from grace in those little eyes are yours
Losing respect and admiration in the eyes of my children

Oh, they don't see
They are unaware of my struggles

I hold it all inside
Keeping my emotions and pain internalized

Walk away and then just breathe
Stepping away from a difficult situation to regain composure

And I hide inside a lie
Concealing my true feelings with falsehoods