Fear
N.killah Lyrics

{Fear} This was the moment I feared
The artist is expressing that he has always had a fear of something bad happening, and this moment has arrived, confirming his fear.

Reoccurring dream, I was falling Droppin' from something tall And Jesus name that I'm calling This is pretty deep how I'mma decorate the city street Little bitty pieces there's really gonna be some chalky drawings
The artist is describing a recurring dream of falling from a tall structure while calling out to Jesus. He then goes on to imagine how his body would look if it actually fell, leaving little bits of blood and chalky residue everywhere.

In this dream I had, when I land I can taste the blood, I can smell the concrete And I can feel my bones crush on a calm street Dark and desolate, my heart I never get Another beat I'm gonna be other head to split, my hell is credited Where the red is in, I'm down and dead admit in light I'm dreadin' this If we're created of God than predestination Should not be looked at as odd, when we're blessed to wake in- Side of a dream, like I've been here before And we sum it up with some french expression like we didn't hear the lord So I'm hopin' and prayin' That I won't be opened and sprayin' In real life and it's just a dream, and it's not a thing that can sway my view But my fear is that I end up layin' and ready for decayin' What I thought was a dream now it's Déjà vu
The artist continues to describe his dream of falling and the gruesome aftermath. He questions the concept of predestination and whether his dream is a sign of things to come. He hopes that it's just a nightmare and not something that will actually happen, but his fear is that it's a premonition and he will end up dead and decaying, thus experiencing a déjà vu.

{Fear} If I fall will the angels catch me? Or in it all is it my destiny? Is there a sound when the ground absorbs me? Or a dream tellin' me my story
The artist continues to express his fear of falling and what will happen to him if he does. He wonders if angels will save him, or if his fate is already sealed. He questions if there will be a sound when he hits the ground, or if this is all just a dream that's telling his story.

I called up my mother, but who answered my brother He said "she real sick but I'm gonna put her on just tell her you love her" My heart it just fluttered when mama picked up she would utter "Who is this?" I said "Donnie", but she thought I was another Didn't even know me, and she's not an oldie It's the lupus or epilepsy Maybe the psychosis solely "This your son I just called to say happy birthday" Not really knowin' me hit me in the worst way Then she said "Oh yeah, little Donnie, how you doin' in school?" I said "I'm 42, mommy!" I give my arm, leg, leg, arm, head if that means my momma get better Toughest thing to swallow is when someone who raised you, they gonna forget ya I'm feelin' sadness, I'm feelin' anger Steady praying for a higher power to come down and change it Rearrange her cause my fear is that the sickness in her mind In due time it'll make her son a stranger
The artist talks about calling his sick mother, but feeling heartbroken when she doesn't recognize him and mistakes him for someone else. He acknowledges her illness and how tough it is to accept that someone who raised him can forget him. He feels sad and angry, and he prays for divine intervention to help his mother. He fears that if her illness persists, he will eventually become a stranger to her.

A stranger to the one who raised us Nameless to the one who named us Back to the place where it all began I'm seeing heaven but I fear it's the end
The artist continues to express his fear of becoming a stranger to his mother who raised and named him. He then realizes that it might be the beginning of the end, and he sees heaven, but fears it might be his death.

Taught to have faith in God Breakin' bread then we bakin' K.O.D Makin' plenty then spread it abroad Wash it down with a glass of Shiraz I try to walk the path of the righteous one But this life is one, that's full of strife, let's run To the mountain top What I'm 'bout to say if suckas starts to thinking this holy name I denounce then stop Man, I'm just sayin' I do a whole lot of prayin' And I wonder if it's listenin' to Aaron's nightly whisperin' 'Bout mom in the tithe she's weakly payin' I know it's a blessing, that I raised kids cause I got skill And thank God that gangbang thing didn't bring me hot steel Now my mom's worse and a lot ill My fear is that this God I'm prayin' to for my mother is not real
The artist talks about his faith in God and how he tries to follow the path of righteousness. He acknowledges that life is full of struggles, but he still prays a lot. He wonders if God hears his prayers and references someone named Aaron whispering about his mother and the tithe she's weakly paying. The artist then thanks God for helping him avoid a dangerous lifestyle, but fears that the God he's praying to might not be real, especially after seeing his mother getting worse.

Extinguish me from this world of fire False teachings taught by liars Prayers that go in an empty asylum No salvation from this messiah
The artist expresses his desire to leave this world, which he sees as a world of fire and deceitful false teachings. He prays, but feels like his prayers only go to waste in an empty asylum with no savior to offer salvation.