Origins
Jeff Mangum was a member of The Olivia Tremor Control, along with his friend Will Cullen Hart and Bill Doss, appearing on their first release, the California Demise 7".
Prior to recording for friends under the NMH moniker, Mangum recorded at least one cassette under the name Milk: the only known tape was called Pygmie Barn in E Minor. This is the earliest known recordings that Mangum initiated and executed himself, on the cover there is "all songs: j.m '89. art: w. cullen hart". There is only an estimated dozen or so copies ever made of this tape, none of which have been made public. The tracklist etc. are also unknown.
Neutral Milk Hotel began life in Ruston, Louisiana, United States in the early 1990s, simply as a recording project for Mangum. He produced several demo cassettes, among them 1991's Invent Yourself a Shortcake, 1992's Beauty and 1993's Hype City Soundtrack, along with two more from this period, seemingly unnamed. Although easily found on the internet, these demos capture the project at a very embryonic state: songs are played in between various sound collages and tape experiments, and even, at one point, a six minute conversation between Mangum and Hart.
During this period, Mangum was wandering the country, staying in the closets of friends, and in a state of permanent unemployment. It was in these circumstances that the band's first formal releases took shape. Strictly speaking, however, the 'band' usually consisted of Mangum and whoever else was present at the time. This is obvious on Neutral Milk Hotel's first release, a 7" entitled Everything Is, recorded when Mangum was spending time in Seattle, Washington, released on Cher Doll Records in 1994.
On Avery Island
A full album, On Avery Island, followed, this time recorded mainly in Denver, Colorado, where Mangum was backed by Robert Schneider of the Apples in Stereo, Rick Benjamin of the Perry Weissman Three and Lisa Janssen of Secret Square. Merge Records released it in 1996. On On Avery Island, Mangum's unique vocal style and the band's quirky but playful arrangements create a carnival atmosphere of moods ranging from excitement, suspense, and melodrama.
After the release of On Avery Island, Neutral Milk Hotel became a fully-fledged band, as Julian Koster, Scott Spillane and Jeremy Barnes joined Mangum, the band now being based in New York. Soon after this, they moved to Athens, Georgia, where many of Mangum's friends had begun to settle, and the Elephant 6 recording company began, fully, to take shape. After this, the band went back to Denver, to record a proper follow up to On Avery Island.
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
The band's second LP, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, released in 1998, is notable as a critically acclaimed work and a widely popular recording. It is a spiritually motivated work, conceptually based on the beauty to be found in the horrific fate of Anne Frank and similarly overwhelming tragedies. (Mangum has, during live performances, including the one released under the title "Live at Jittery Joe's", described some of the songs off this album as based on urgent, recurring dreams he had of a European family during the 1940s.) The album was highly praised by critics for its wildly inventive instrumentation and Mangum's provocative and impassioned lyrics. Although it met with scant response from the general public when it was released, the recording has continued to gain momentum in indie music circles and has become a cult classic, selling well over 100,000 copies according to Merge Records. However, the record along with the year of constant touring that succeeded it took its toll on Mangum. The band quite abruptly went on hiatus turning down all requests for shows, including a support slot for R.E.M.. All of a sudden, the band appeared to go silent and very little has been heard from Mangum since 1999.
Hiatus
Although all the members are still active with one another in other projects, it is unknown whether any more Neutral Milk Hotel albums will be released. There were plans to release a Neutral Milk Hotel rarities album on the Orange Twin label; however, after an announcement in 2005 on the Orange Twin website claiming that Jeff Mangum had in fact eventually decided against the project, it is unclear if this will ever happen.
There has been, however, some activity since In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. First, Orange Twin re-released Everything Is...., complete with extra bonus tracks, as well as Live at Jittery Joe's, a bootleg recording of a show Mangum played in a coffee house in Athens in 1997. The Major Organ and the Adding Machine album, a rather secretive project released by Orange Twin in 2001 and consisting mainly of experimental musical collage, features Mangum, along with Julian Koster, Of Montreal's Kevin Barnes, Elf Power's Andrew Reiger and the Olivia Tremor Control and Circulatory System's Will Cullen Hart and Eric Harris. There was also the release of Orange Twin Field Works, Vol. 1, Mangum's field recording of a Bulgarian folk festival, also on Orange Twin in 2001. Additionally, he plays drums on the first Circulatory System album.
Since the start of the hiatus Neutral Milk Hotel, Jeff Mangum has only played live properly again once, under the pseudonym 'World of Wild Beards, Inc.', at the Kings Arms pub in Auckland, New Zealand, at the request of the Tall Dwarfs' Chris Knox. He has also made appearances with Elf Power, and appeared onstage at the first of The Olivia Tremor Control's New York shows on their 2005 reunion tour, to sing briefly. Further releases from Neutral Milk Hotel, however, are indicated to be unlikely.
The other members are all still releasing or recording material: Julian Koster as The Music Tapes, Scott Spillane as The Gerbils and Jeremy Barnes as A Hawk & A Hacksaw, Bablicon and Marta Tennae.
In 2005, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea saw its re-release by Domino Records in the UK, in a sleeve featuring praise from, among others, Franz Ferdinand and The Arcade Fire, both very much influenced by the band. On Avery Island was re-released in the US in January of 2006 with live bonus tracks. Mangum has also been fairly busy creatively - following a charity auction on eBay of an acoustic guitar decorated by Mangum himself, more guitars hand-decorated by Mangum were sold via Orange Twin Records for $900 apiece. In addition, a number of Mangum's original drawings, this time costing only $10 each, were sold via Neutral Milk Hotel's website.
In 2013, made a reunion tour of the United States, Australia, Taiwan and Japan. The band subsequently played concerts sporadically until going on indefinite hiatus in mid-2015.
Where You'll Find Me Now
Neutral Milk Hotel Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Silvery streams, sacred when spoken
Slam into me and into the ditch of debris
And you smoke in the park and sleep in the greenery
Everyone barks and they are all still believing
To tear out your heart would send all your secrets to me
But I let you down
With that silver stripping off
From my tongue you're tearing out
And you'll never hear me talk
Your teeth believe that teeth are for tearing
Tear into me and the scent of you sweating smells good to me
As long as we keep in our clothes
And out in the dark the world is still rolling
Kids in their cars, cigarette smoking
And all that they are just reeks with the sweetest belief
But I let you down
And swollen and small is where you'll find me now
With that silver stripping off
From my tongue you're tearing out
And you'll never hear me talk
All I could want is silver and spinning
Out from your arms and into the pretty pit of your heart
So simply and softly we'd flow
But I let you down
And swollen and small is where you'll find me now
With that silver stripping off
From my tongue you're tearing out
And you'll never hear me talk
Into you I will glow
Into you
I will fade
The song "Where You'll Find Me Now" by Neutral Milk Hotel is a melancholic tune about a failed relationship. The song describes a sense of disillusionment in the aftermath of a failed love affair. The opening line "All I perceive is wasted and broken" suggests that the singer's view of the world is tainted by the loss. The "slam" of the "silvery streams, sacred when spoken" into the singer "and into the ditch of debris" reflects the sense of being overwhelmed by emotions.
The imagery in the song emphasizes the contrast between the beauty and ugliness of the world. The singer sees the world as littered with debris and smelling of sweat. The world appears bleak, but there is a clinging hope that maybe someday everything will be okay, evidenced by the belief in the lyrics "And all that they are just reeks with the sweetest belief." The refrain "But I let you down and swollen and small is where you'll find me now" suggests the singer's self-loathing and remorse. They feel that they have failed their lover, and that they are now small and insignificant.
Overall, the song seems to be a meditation on the themes of loss, regret, and the human need for connection. It's a poignant reminder that some things may never be fully understood, and that sometimes the best we can hope for is to be swallowed up by the world.
Line by Line Meaning
All I perceive is wasted and broken
I can only see things that are destroyed and useless
Silvery streams, sacred when spoken
Words that flow smoothly and beautifully are powerful and meaningful
Slam into me and into the ditch of debris
Emotions overwhelm me and I feel trapped and surrounded by garbage
And you smoke in the park and sleep in the greenery
You find peace in nature and disconnect from society's demands
Everyone barks and they are all still believing
People make a lot of noise but still cling to their beliefs
To tear out your heart would send all your secrets to me
If I could truly know you, I would have access to all of your deepest thoughts and feelings
But I let you down
I disappointed and betrayed you
And swollen and small is where you'll find me now
I feel bloated and insignificant
With that silver stripping off
The shimmer and shine I once had is gone
From my tongue you're tearing out
You're hurting me by taking away my ability to communicate
And you'll never hear me talk
I will remain silent forever
Your teeth believe that teeth are for tearing
You believe that violence is necessary to survive
Tear into me and the scent of you sweating smells good to me
Even though you hurt me, I am still attracted to you
As long as we keep in our clothes
We can pretend that we're not vulnerable and hide our true selves
And out in the dark the world is still rolling
Life goes on even when it's hard to see
Kids in their cars, cigarette smoking
Young people rebel against authority and engage in risky behavior
And all that they are just reeks with the sweetest belief
Their naive optimism is both charming and annoying
All I could want is silver and spinning
All I desire is something shiny and exciting
Out from your arms and into the pretty pit of your heart
I want to be with you and explore your innermost thoughts and emotions
So simply and softly we'd flow
We could be together without any complications or drama
Into you I will glow
I will shine and radiate my love for you
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: JEFF MANGUM
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind