BAD
Ray Stevens Lyrics

Now, I know a man
I am going to tell you about a man I know

He's a hard workin' man
He is someone who works hard for a living

He gets up real early, and he goes down town
He wakes up early and goes downtown

And about fifteen minutes after he's been gone
After he has left for work for about fifteen minutes

There's a big milk truck pulls up on the lawn
A large truck delivering milk pulls up on his lawn

And that milkman rushes up to the door
The milkman hurries up to the door

Where that man's wife is waitin' in a kimona
The man's wife is waiting at the door wearing a kimono

And she plants a big ol' kiss on his cheek and they go inside
She kisses the milkman and goes inside with him

And that truck never moves for an hour or two
The truck stays parked outside for an hour or two

Well it's none of my business
It is not my place to get involved

One day I called him aside and told him what was goin' on
I pulled him aside one day and told him what I had seen happening

And he said, "Well I guess that's so, but do you know
He acknowledged what I said but then he asked me if I knew

We're never outta' milk or cottage cheese or yogurt, Ice cream, or none of them other cowy things"
They always have enough milk and dairy products, and he is okay with what his wife is doing because of it

I guess he's makin' the best of a bad situation Don't wanta make waves, can't you see He's just makin' the best of a bad situation Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
He is trying to make the best out of a bad situation without causing any problems and he thinks that he would do the same if he were in that situation

Now I know a man, he's an educated man, he's an alligator wrestler
I also know of an educated man who is an alligator wrestler

He jumps right in there and grabs them long green boogers by whatever you grab them long green boogers by
He boldly jumps in and catches the alligators in the way that alligator wrestlers do

Well, one day he's got a full Nelson on this big alligator
One day, he had grabbed an alligator in a tight grip called 'full nelson'

When this other alligator sneaks up and bites his right ear plumb off
Another alligator crept up on him and bit off his right ear

Didn't bat an eye just crawled off in the shade and went to sleep
He did not show any response to his ear getting bitten off and went off to sleep under the shade of a tree

Well, it's none of my business
It is not my place to get involved

One day I said, "Well, it's sure too bad about that little accident that you had
I told him one day that I was sorry about his little accident

'Cause now your hat's gonna fall down over your eyes And you can't ever be gypsy 'cause you don't have no place to wear a gold earring"
His hat will now fall over his eyes, and he cannot be a gypsy because he doesn't have a place to put his gold earring

He just looked me right straight in the eye and said, "Huh?"
He looked straight at me and said 'Huh?'

I guess he's makin' the best of a bad situation Don't wanna make waves, can't you see He's just makin' the best of a bad situation Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
He is trying to make the best out of a bad situation without causing any problems and he thinks that he would do the same if he were in that situation

Now I know a lady, she's a mighty fine lady Got a heart of gold, she wouldn't hurt a fly She's just tryin' to get by and keep her house in order
I also know of a lady who is kind-hearted and peaceful. She's trying hard to maintain her household

But you know that her husband, he worked so hard that he come unglued He come unwrapped, he just snapped, thinks he's a chicken That's right, one of them cackling Colonel Sanders' types He roosts in the bush by the side of the house
However, her husband became mentally unwell due to the stress of work and now thinks he's a chicken. He hides in a bush by the side of the house

Well it's none of my business but one day I said "Have you ever thought about findin' him a doctor who could make him well"
It's not my place to interfere, but I just asked her if she had thought of getting him medical help

And she said "Well, I have now and then, but then again He don't eat much just chickenfeed and all that peckin' in the ground don't hurt nothin' Heaven knows, we can use the eggs"
She has considered getting medical help but thinks that his condition is not harming him. Furthermore, the family can use the eggs he is producing

I guess she's makin' the best of a bad situation Don't wanna make waves, can't you see She's just makin' the best of a bad situation Reckon I'd do the same if it was me
She is trying to make the best out of a bad situation without causing any problems and she thinks that she would do the same if she were in that situation

We're all just makin' the best of a bad situation We're all in this together you and me
We are all trying to make the best out of challenging circumstances. We are all in this together