Shenanigans
S.O.D. Lyrics

It's just another Saturday Hanging out at DBA
It's a regular Saturday and I'm spending time at DBA

All I came for was whiskey and a bunch of pints
I came to drink whiskey and multiple pints

I have a drink or two or three And I feel like I'm on TV
I'm drinking and feeling like a star

'Cause some girl across the bar is giving me the evil eye
A girl across the bar is giving me a dirty look

I make a move to see what's up and bump right into some dump jock
I try to investigate and accidentally collide with a stupid athlete

The guy gets pissed and he throws his drink right in my face
He gets angry and flings his drink at me

Well now he started, but I'll finish But first I'll have another Guinness
Even though he started it, I'll finish it later. For now, I'll drink another Guinness

Fighting's such a boring thing I gave it up, I always win
I find fighting boring and gave it up, despite always winning

Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life Drinking, smoking, screwing, right! Don't tell me how to live my life!
I don't care how I sleep at night, this is how I choose to live my life, drinking, smoking, and having sex. Don't try to impose your ideas on me

Another guy, another day. Why won't this guy just go away
Another guy won't leave me alone, just like any other day

Talk my ear off and I don't want to smell your breath
He is talking too much, and I don't want to smell his breath

You like my band, I understand When you say, "I love you man"
He likes my band, and I get that when he says, "I love you man"

Can't I have just a minute to go take a piss?
Can I have a minute to take a bathroom break?

The he asks me if I'm saved And do I walk with God each day
Then he asks if I believe in God and if I walk with Him every day

No way man, I have always been down with sin
I don't think so, I've always done sinful things

He tells me God loves all of us as I get back on the bus
He informs me that God loves everybody as I leave on the bus

'Cause God just told me I was gonna get my dick sucked!
Because God just told me that I was going to receive oral sex

Good for you, you're born again Yuppie Young Republican
That's great, you're a born-again, rich, young republican

Being straight makes you happy Stay the fuck away from me
If being straight makes you happy, then stay away from me

So you're gay, oh happy day And you don't smoke, that's just great And eating meat, oh God forbid You'll be more fun when you're dead
You're gay? Wonderful. It's great you don't smoke. Eating meat? Don't even get me started. You'll have more fun when you're dead

Another time, far away, I'm in Tampa, FLA
In another incident, far away, I'm in Tampa, Florida

I saw my friends and we went out and got really drunk
I met my friends and we got very drunk

Got in the car and drove around and passed the Yankees training ground
We got in the car and drove around, passing by the Yankees' training ground

We drove up close and then I went and hopped the fence
We drove near it, and I hopped the fence

I ran around the bases twice and thought the on-deck mat was nice
I ran around the bases twice and admired the on-deck mat

I put it back though and ran back out to meet my friends
I placed it back and ran back to meet my friends

The cops were there, they saw the tape Straight to jail at any rate Three month later Howard Stern got George to drop the case!
The police arrived and saw the footage, so I went to jail. Three months later, Howard Stern managed to drop the charges against me via George (Jorge)

Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life Drinking, smoking, screwing, right! Don't tell me how to live my life!
It doesn't matter how I sleep at night. Drinking, smoking, and having sex is how I want to live my life. Don't try to tell me how to live it.