A Fine Romance
Sammy Davis Jr. Carmen McRae Lyrics

A fine romance, with no kisses
This relationship is supposed to be great and full of passion, but there is no physical intimacy.

A fine romance, my friend this is
Despite the lack of physical intimacy, this relationship is still considered good and enjoyable.

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
We should be passionate and exciting, like two ripe, juicy tomatoes that are hot to the touch.

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
You are emotionally distant and unresponsive, like a bowl of leftover mashed potatoes that have lost their warmth and flavor.

A fine romance, you won't nestle
Even though I crave physical affection, you refuse to cuddle or hold me.

A fine romance, you won't wrestle
You won't engage in any playful or intimate physical activity, like wrestling or tickling.

I might as well play bridge
I might as well engage in a non-romantic activity like playing bridge, because there is no romance or passion here.

With my old maid aunt
It would be just as enjoyable to spend time with my unmarried, older relative as it is to spend time with you, because there is no passion in this relationship.

I haven't got a chance
There is no hope for this relationship to become more intimate or passionate, because you refuse to engage in physical affection.

This is a fine romance
Despite the lack of passion, this relationship is considered good and enjoyable on a non-romantic level.

A fine romance, my good fellow
This relationship is still considered good and enjoyable, even though we don't engage in physical intimacy.

You take romance, I'll take jello
You don't want to engage in romantic activities or physical affection, so I'll just have some jello instead.

You're calmer than the seals
You are emotionally detached, even more so than the calm and collected seals in the arctic ocean.

In the arctic ocean
A reference to the seals that are known for living in cold, icy environments with minimal emotional expression.

At least they flap their fins
At least the seals are able to express some emotion, even if it's only through physical gestures like flapping their fins.

To express emotion
Physical gestures are the only way for the seals to express any signs of emotion.

A fine romance with no quarrels
This relationship is good and enjoyable because we don't argue or fight, even though there is no passion or physical intimacy.

With no insults and all morals
We maintain a respectful and moral relationship, even though there is no room for passion or physical affection.

I've never mussed the crease
I've never had the opportunity to mess up the fold in your pants, because we don't engage in intimate physical activity.

In your blue serge pants
A reference to the type of pants that are typically worn by men in professional settings.

I never get the chance
I am never given the chance to engage in physical intimacy, because you refuse to do so.

This is a fine romance
Once again, despite the lack of passion and physical affection, this relationship is still considered good and enjoyable on a non-romantic level.