I Want to Vanish
Sara Lov Lyrics


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I want to vanish
This is my fondest wish
To go where I cannot be captured
Laid on a decorated dish
Even in splendor this curious fate
Is more than I care to surrender
Now it's too late
Whether in wonder or indecent haste
You arrange the mirrors and the spools
To snare the rare and precious jewels
That were only made of paste

If you should stumble upon my last remark
I'm crying in the wilderness
I'm trying my best to make it dark
How can I tell you I'm rarer than most
I'm certain as a lost dog
Pondering a sign post

I want to vanish
This is my last request




I've given you the awful truth
Now give me my rest

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Sara Lov's "I Want to Vanish" speak of a desire to disappear from the world, to escape from the pressures and expectations forced upon individuals in society. The opening lines express the singer's ultimate wish to vanish from the world, to be free from being pursued and caught like a prized possession. Even living in luxury, the singer wants to be free from attachment, "more than I care to surrender." The idea of being "captured / Laid on a decorated dish" suggests a sense of objectification and objecthood that the singer rejects.


The next lines seem to address the way society compels individuals to compete with one another, and to conform to superficial standards of beauty and worth. The metaphor of the mirror and the spools suggest a crafting or creation of a facade or image, in order to present oneself as possessing "rare and precious jewels // That were only made of paste." Poseurs who pretend to be something they are not catch the singer's aching sense of loneliness and sense of worth beyond the surface level.


The song's bridge speaks of the singer's attempts to communicate to the world her uniqueness and value, despite feeling invisible or ignored, "crying in the wilderness." The feeling of being "rarer than most / I'm certain as a lost dog / Pondering a sign post" refers to a sense of displacement, of being out of step with the majority. In the final stanza, the singer reiterates her desire to vanish, as it is now time to rest. The truth has been spoken, and the singer has reached a point of no return.


Line by Line Meaning

I want to vanish
The singer wishes to disappear completely.


This is my fondest wish
Vanishing is the singer's strongest desire.


To go where I cannot be captured
The singer seeks a place where they cannot be found or caught.


Laid on a decorated dish
The singer does not want to be used for someone else's gain or benefit.


Even in splendor this curious fate
Even in a beautiful and perfect life, the desire to vanish remains.


Is more than I care to surrender
The singer is not willing to give up their desire to vanish.


Now it's too late
The singer feels like time has passed and their wish may not come true.


Whether in wonder or indecent haste
Whether through curiosity or desperation,


You arrange the mirrors and the spools
One tries various methods to try to catch the singer.


To snare the rare and precious jewels
The singer is a rare and valuable find.


That were only made of paste
Those who think they have caught the singer have actually captured something worthless.


If you should stumble upon my last remark
The singer makes a final statement before going away.


I'm crying in the wilderness
The singer is alone and not understood by anyone.


I'm trying my best to make it dark
The singer is making it difficult for others to find them.


How can I tell you I'm rarer than most
The singer feels unique and different from others.


I'm certain as a lost dog
The singer is sure of their desire to vanish, despite feeling lost.


Pondering a sign post
The singer is considering their options and what direction to take in life.


This is my last request
The singer is making a final plea before vanishing.


I've given you the awful truth
The singer has revealed their true feelings and desires.


Now give me my rest
The singer wants to be left alone and allowed to vanish in peace.




Contributed by Sebastian C. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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