Walk a Year In My Mind
Soilent Green Lyrics


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seduced of my virgin descent
raped of this primitive trust
instinct... an art of overridden wrath
twisted and bound into my own flesh
break down... this existence
a wish of death... a tired warm breath
disturb the subtle side of me
expression my quality
scratching this sanity
into my walled mind...
my sustain of pain
a slut of love... the lover in sin
let these beatings begin ...begin...
get out of my face...
disgrace to your race, your kind
left your own friends behind
...undecided oppositions fall...
complications... no money
need to borrow time... no help
can't seem to get a straight face
...a fit of intense anger...
thinking... planning...
switching the choices daily
seeing my life through frames
an urge that repulses love
and rekindles a pain
increase the purge for more...
your faltered game
listen to a word
actions speak-out...
wipe-out words that lie
emotional thief... held my grounds
reveal solutions to weakness
conform to the trails of man
breaking down of morals
punishment worse when younger
I can smell the aroma of life
the elixir of ill-forgot lies
taste that indulges in sin
waiting to be taken in...
youthful nightmares
made reality through diagnosis
crawling to these channels
of comfort through the stains
from beatings
playing these razor keys
to instrumental horror
the cities of living people,
the valleys of the dead
songs sung by the swarms
of flies over carnage
the kings that endure the life of filth
ripping through... digging deep
chasing me in my dreams
penetrate the dialect
a broken deep thought... learning lessbottle of cheap wine
the vintage mind
from a not so good year
expose a deep hidden need
you've left me... leave me...
i've left me for this reach on unsanity
speechless in this silence...
speaking louder...
screaming, no one hears
you're seeing nothing more than you
care to see what you don't want to see
garden sick creatures
the mind grows to fertilize
the concepts with shit
touch my hand... sink inside my dreams
reality distinct to the point of fear
repeating an idea to over-analyze disgrace
the strain... overload... blown in your face
confine this pre-made conception
force-fed the lie of hope... choke on it
these truths untold... behold... now pain
this solitude for a higher love
striving for some kind
of excellent emotion




I don't think you would like to be me
sexual repression has led to deviance

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Soilent Green's "Walk a Year In My Mind" narrate the psychological turmoil and distress of the singer, who is overcome with an overwhelming sense of self-loathing and guilt. Throughout the song, the singer is grappling with a slew of intense emotions, including anger, frustration, and despair. The opening lines of the song - "seduced of my virgin descent, raped of this primitive trust" - suggest that the singer has been deeply wounded by an emotional and/or physical trauma in his past, and as a result, he's been left feeling vulnerable and alone.


The singer goes on to describe the impact that this trauma has had on him, noting that he's been "twisted and bound into [his] own flesh". He struggles to control his own thoughts and emotions, and is plagued by "youthful nightmares made reality through diagnosis". The verses are full of striking imagery, including references to "cities of living people, the valleys of the dead" and "songs sung by swarms of flies over carnage". These lines emphasize the singer's sense of alienation and despair.


Despite the bleakness of the song's lyrics, there is a sense of defiance and anger that runs through it. The singer accuses others of being a "disgrace to their race" and of "conforming to the trails of man". He rails against the "emotional thief" who has "held his ground", and seems to be fighting to reclaim a sense of agency and control over his own life. At the same time, however, he acknowledges that he is not without blame, admitting that his "sexual repression has led to deviance". Overall, the lyrics to "Walk a Year In My Mind" paint a vivid portrait of a shattered psyche, struggling to make sense of a world that seems intent on crushing him beneath its weight.


Line by Line Meaning

seduced of my virgin descent
I was corrupted when I was young and innocent


raped of this primitive trust
I was violated and lost my capacity to trust


instinct... an art of overridden wrath
My natural impulses are now destructive forces in me


twisted and bound into my own flesh
My own body has become a prison to me


break down... this existence
I want my life to end


a wish of death... a tired warm breath
I desire to die, and my breaths are labored and tired


disturb the subtle side of me
Something is causing a disturbance in me


expression my quality
My means of communicating is a defining attribute of mine


scratching this sanity
I am slowly losing my sanity


into my walled mind...
My mind is closed off from the world


my sustain of pain
I am sustained by my own pain


a slut of love... the lover in sin
I am promiscuous, but my love affairs bring me sorrow


let these beatings begin ...begin...
My suffering will soon commence


get out of my face...
You are annoying me and I want you to leave


disgrace to your race, your kind
You are shameful and you bring shame to your heritage


left your own friends behind
You have abandoned the people who care about you


...undecided oppositions fall...
Opponents who are undecided will ultimately yield to me


complications... no money
I have money troubles, which make everything more difficult


need to borrow time... no help
I need more time but nobody is available to help me


can't seem to get a straight face
I am unable to maintain composure


...a fit of intense anger...
I am enraged to the point of losing control


thinking... planning...
I am thinking and scheming


switching the choices daily
I am indecisive and change my mind often


seeing my life through frames
I am viewing my life like a series of snapshots


an urge that repulses love
I feel a desire that makes me unable to love


and rekindles a pain
This desire brings back memories of pain


increase the purge for more...
I need to get rid of this feeling even more


your faltered game
Your plan has failed


listen to a word
Pay attention to what I am saying


actions speak-out...
One's actions reveal their true intentions


wipe-out words that lie
I am getting rid of deceitful words


emotional thief... held my grounds
Someone has taken my emotional well-being, but I am still standing


reveal solutions to weakness
Sharing the solutions to one's weaknesses can make them stronger


conform to the trails of man
Follow the path that society prescribes


breaking down of morals
The decline of values


punishment worse when younger
The repercussions hurt more when one is younger


I can smell the aroma of life
I can sense the presence of living things


the elixir of ill-forgot lies
The remedy for forgotten lies


taste that indulges in sin
An experience that offers pleasure despite being morally wrong


waiting to be taken in...
I am ready to be transformed


youthful nightmares
Scary experiences from my childhood


made reality through diagnosis
My nightmares have become a reality after being confirmed by a physician


crawling to these channels
Seeking comfort through unorthodox means


of comfort through the stains
Trying to find solace in something that has been spoiled


from beatings
As a result of physical abuse


playing these razor keys
Using musical instruments to express my pain


to instrumental horror
Creating terrifying music


the cities of living people,
Urban areas inhabited by people who are alive


the valleys of the dead
The low-lying regions where the deceased are buried


songs sung by the swarms
Melodies made by large groups of insects


of flies over carnage
Hovering over decaying flesh


the kings that endure the life of filth
Those who lead a life of impurity and still survive


ripping through... digging deep
Harmful forces are penetrating and causing great damage


chasing me in my dreams
Haunting me even while I sleep


penetrate the dialect
Understand the true nature of language


a broken deep thought... learning less
A memory or idea that I cannot fully comprehend


bottle of cheap wine
An inexpensive bottle of wine


the vintage mind
The mind of an earlier time period


from a not so good year
From a period of time where things were not going well


expose a deep hidden need
Reveal a desire that was previously hidden


you've left me... leave me...
You have abandoned me, and I want you to continue to do so


i've left me for this reach on unsanity
I am destroying myself by pursuing madness


speechless in this silence...
I am at a loss for words in this quietness


speaking louder...
Trying to make myself heard


screaming, no one hears
Yelling but not being listened to


you're seeing nothing more than you
The only thing you are seeing is yourself


care to see what you don't want to see
Be willing to observe things that are unpleasant


garden sick creatures
Nurturing things that are sickly or abnormal


the mind grows to fertilize
The mind can be a source of development


the concepts with shit
These ideas are based on unsavory things


touch my hand... sink inside my dreams
Join me in my fantasies


reality distinct to the point of fear
The truth is so scary it is almost unbelievable


repeating an idea to over-analyze disgrace
Repeating an unpleasant thought to the point of obsession


the strain... overload... blown in your face
Stress and anxiety are becoming too much to bear


confine this pre-made conception
Restrict this idea that was formed prematurely


force-fed the lie of hope... choke on it
Being given false hope and struggling to accept it


these truths untold... behold... now pain
Realizing unsettling truths causes one to feel agony


this solitude for a higher love
Seeking to be alone in order to better love oneself and others


striving for some kind
Trying to achieve a certain type


of excellent emotion
An elevated form of feeling


I don't think you would like to be me
My life is so bleak that I doubt you would want to trade places with me


sexual repression has led to deviance
Denying oneself sexually has caused perverse behaviors to emerge




Contributed by Joshua D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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