Atheists Don't Have No Songs
Steve Martin/The Steep Canyon Rangers Lyrics

Christians have their hymns and pages.
Christians have their own religious music and literature.

Hava Nagila's for the Jews.
Jews have their own religious folk song called Hava Nagila.

Baptists have the rock of ages.
Baptists have their own favorite hymn called Rock of Ages.

Atheists just sing the blues.
Atheists do not have any well-known songs celebrating their lack of faith.

Romantics play Claire de Lune.
Romantic people enjoy playing the piece Claire de Lune.

Born agains sing He is risen.
Born again Christians sing a song about the resurrection of Jesus called He is Risen.

But no one ever wrote a tune.
However, no one has written a well-known song about living a godless existence.

For godless existentialism.
For the philosophy of living without religion.

For Atheists,
For people without belief in a god,

There's no good news.
There isn't any positive message or music

They'll never sing,
Because of their lack of faith,

A song of faith.
They will never sing a religious song.

In their songs,
When atheists create music,

They have a rule.
They generally follow the same style.

The "he" is always lowercase.
When referring to supernatural entities, the atheists refer to it with a lowercase "h".

Some folks sing a Bach cantata.
Some people enjoy singing compositions from J.S. Bach.

Lutherans get Christmas trees.
Lutherans decorate Christmas trees during the holiday season.

Atheist songs add up to nada.
However, there are no famous songs created by atheists.

But they do have Sundays free.
Despite not attending church, atheists still have a free day on a Sunday.

Pentecostals sing, sing to heaven,
Pentecostals sing songs of praise to heaven.

Gothics had the books of scrolls,
Gothic people typically read books of religious scriptures.

Numerologists count, count to seven,
Numerologists are fond of counting to the number seven.

Atheists have rock and roll.
Atheist people traditionally enjoy rock and roll music.

Catholics,
People who follow the Catholic faith,

Dress up for mass.
Wear formal attire when attending church services.

And listen to,
Attendees enjoy listening to

Gregorian chants.
Singing Gregorian chants in Latin.

Just take a pass.
Atheists would much prefer not to go to church at all.

Watch football in their underpants.
Atheists may instead choose to watch football at home in their comfortable clothing.

Atheists
People without faith,

Don't have no songs!
Don't have any notable songs