Tabitha's Secret was a band formed in March of 1993 in Orlando, Florida. It… Read Full Bio ↴Tabitha's Secret was a band formed in March of 1993 in Orlando, Florida. It was originally comprised of lead singer Rob Thomas, John Goff and Jay Stanley on guitar, Brian Yale on bass, and Chris Smith playing drums. In September of 1993, Paul Doucette joined the band as a second percussionist, only to replace Chris Smith entirely a year later. Some of the band's most popular songs were "And Around," "Dear Joan," "Unkind," and "3 am".

In 1995, songwriter/producer and representative for Atlantic Records Matt Serletic approached the members of Tabitha's Secret concerning a long-term record deal. However, Serletic was more interested in helping Thomas find his voice than he was in the band Tabitha's Secret. Jay Stanley and John Goff were uninterested in a long-term record deal, believing it was better to sign for a one-record deal and evaluate the situation following this record's release. Thomas, however, felt the band should take the offer.

The fact that Stanley and Goff were resistant to sign, alongside pressure from the record company to drop the two guitar players, Thomas, Yale, and Doucette decided it was best to part ways with the other members of the band. Splitting the band landed Thomas, Yale, and Doucette a two-record deal with Atlantic Records, which was later renewed. With their two guitar players gone, Atlantic introduced the trio to Adam Gaynor, a rhythm guitarist and Kyle Cook, a lead guitarist. The five now comprise Matchbox Twenty, a world-renowned band.

When Matchbox Twenty debuted its first album Yourself or Someone Like You, Jay Stanley sued for royalties, claiming he owned the rights to the song 3am which appeared on the newly released record. Stanley stated that he was paid for the original recording sessions of the song when it was performed by Tabitha's Secret (it's released on multiple albums by Tabitha's Secret). This lawsuit lasted five years and was settled in 2000.

Although the band never released any records while they were together, Jay Stanley released three albums after getting the rights to the recordings of Tabitha's Secret. He released a rough demo mix, "Don't Play With Matches" in 1998, to satisfy the hard-core fans and the "Live" record in 2000. Later, Stanley joined with Tony Miceli and engineer George Spatta to re-mix, re-master, and overdub the original recordings and put them into the album "Tabitha's Secret?" which was released in late 2001.

Unkind
Tabitha's Secret Lyrics

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Bring it on baby, what you getting into
Is living on pain the thing that's getting to you
Write my name, pin it up with my picture
And say it's the only thing 'cause I'm not around to be around

I'm beaten and battered, hell if my dreams get shattered then
Pain gives me the right to be unkind

Bring it on baby, what's with sudden devotion
I trade a river of tears for just a little emotion
You can curse my name, pin it up with my picture
And say it's the last time that I'll be around to be around

Oh well I'm torn and I'm tattered
So the thoughts in my head they get scattered
Oh well pain gives me the right to be unkind
And it set's me here

Right back to the heart of it
Jones Crazy is a slight defense from it
Jones Crazy is a place I call my own, (when I'm alone, dig)

So Bring it on baby, what you getting into
Well I swear at once it was the little things that mattered
But it all seems true to you
Say the hell with my name and say the hell with my picture
Yeah but swear for the one time you need me around to be around
Well I'm around right now

And here I'll stand like it matters
Only once gets through and then gets scattered by the rain
But pain gives me the right to be unkind
And it sets me here

Right back to the heart of it
Jones Crazy is a slight defense from it
Jones Crazy is a place I call my own, (when I'm alone, dig)

Right back to the heart of it
Jones Crazy is a slight defense from it
Jones Crazy is a place I call my own, (when I'm alone, dig)

Right back to the heart of it

Jones Crazy is a slight defense from it
Jones Crazy is a place I call my own, (when I'm alone, dig)

Overall Meaning

In Tabitha's Secret's "Unkind," the lyrics suggest a speaker who is grappling with emotional pain and the need to be unkind as a way of coping. The lyrics feature a series of statements that seemingly come from an outside source, urging the singer to bring on pain and heartache, while also implying that any kindness they might show would not have the same impact. The opening lines urge the singer to go ahead and bring on whatever emotional turmoil they are facing, noting that living in pain seems to be the thing that they are struggling with. The singer is being urged to pin their own name and photo up as a reminder of their absence, suggesting that their emotional wounds are so deep that they are no longer present in their own world.

The chorus of the song reinforces the idea that the pain they are experiencing gives them the right to be unkind. This seems to suggest that the singer is doing battle with their own humanity, struggling with the need to lash out and take out their emotions on others. They note that they are "beaten and battered" and when their dreams get shattered, pain is the only right that they have left. In the final verse, the singer notes that they are "torn and tattered" and that the pain they feel sets them back to the heart of their struggles. They mention "Jones Crazy," which seems to be a sort of coping mechanism, a place they go when they are alone and feeling overwhelmed.

Overall, "Unkind" is a song that grapples with the complexities of emotional pain and how it can lead to lashing out at others. The lyrics suggest that the singer is struggling with a sense of being distant from their own emotions, almost observing them from afar, rather than fully experiencing them. The chorus, with its repeated refrain of "pain gives me the right to be unkind," underscores the profound sense of alienation that the singer is feeling, as well as their realization that their pain is leading them down a dark path.

Line by Line Meaning

Bring it on baby, what you getting into
Challenge me with your problems, what issues are you dealing with?

Is living on pain the thing that's getting to you
Are you struggling with the agony of your existence?

Write my name, pin it up with my picture
Remember me by putting my name and picture up on display

And say it's the only thing 'cause I'm not around to be around
Imply that I am no longer there, and this is all that's left of me

I'm beaten and battered, hell if my dreams get shattered then
I'm broken and bruised, and if my hopes are destroyed, then I'm doomed

Pain gives me the right to be unkind
Because of my agonizing experiences, I feel justified in being cruel

Bring it on baby, what's with sudden devotion
Why are you showing such an unexpected love and loyalty towards me?

I trade a river of tears for just a little emotion
I would give up all sadness if it meant feeling a little happiness

You can curse my name, pin it up with my picture
Feel free to speak ill of me and display my likeness prominently

And say it's the last time that I'll be around to be around
Suggest that I won't be coming back, and this is the final chapter of our relationship

Oh well I'm torn and I'm tattered
I am damaged and ruined

So the thoughts in my head they get scattered
My mind is a mess, and my ideas fly in every direction

Oh well pain gives me the right to be unkind
Once again, my suffering justifies my bad behavior

And it set's me here
My pain keeps me stuck in this spot

Right back to the heart of it
It leads me straight back to the source of my pain

Jones Crazy is a slight defense from it
My mentality of 'Jones Crazy' is a weak barrier against my suffering

Jones Crazy is a place I call my own, (when I'm alone, dig)
'Jones Crazy' is my state of mind, and I feel comfortable and familiar with it when I'm by myself

Well I swear at once it was the little things that mattered
I used to believe that small things made a difference

But it all seems true to you
But now it appears that it's all true to you

Say the hell with my name and say the hell with my picture
Forget about my name and my image completely

Yeah but swear for the one time you need me around to be around
But promise that if you need me, I'll be there for you

Well I'm around right now
Fortunately, I'm here for you at this moment

And here I'll stand like it matters
I'll stay by your side as if it's important

Only once gets through and then gets scattered by the rain
Only a few things stick with you before they are washed away by the troubles of life

But pain gives me the right to be unkind
Once more, my pain justifies any harsh words or actions that I may make

And it sets me here
And my pain keeps me stuck in this same spot

Right back to the heart of it
Once more, it leads me back to the source of my pain

Jones Crazy is a slight defense from it
Even though it's barely enough, my 'Jones Crazy' mentality helps protect me

Jones Crazy is a place I call my own, (when I'm alone, dig)
I view 'Jones Crazy' as my personal space, where I'm most comfortable on my own