My Gift To You
Tengil Lyrics

I could not stay
I was never able to stay in one place for long

Anywhere
No matter where I went

Prior to this
Before coming here

And I cannot not stay
Even now, I cannot seem to stay in one place

Anywhere
No matter where I try to stay

Not even now
Even in the present moment

Not even here
Not even in this specific place

Were you said
When you told me

I should spread my roots
I should try to settle down and make a home for myself

You said this place,
You told me that this specific place,

My place,
Could be my home

would hold love for me
Would provide me with the love and happiness I've been searching for

And now I'm soon all bled out
I am becoming drained and depleted

I held on hard to every drop
I tried to hold onto every bit of hope and happiness I could find

But it was never thick enough
It was never enough to truly sustain me

So after all this work
After all my efforts

After all the sweat and tears
After all the hard work and emotional pain

When it bore so little fruit
When my efforts resulted in little to no progress

Why did I even try?
Why did I bother putting in so much effort?

And now there's soon nothing left
Soon I will have nothing left

Again
Just like I have experienced before

But this time
This time it feels different

might really be the last time
This time I may not be able to recover

It goes back around
Things come full circle

For better or for worse
Whether it's good or bad

Soon there's nothing left here
Soon there will be nothing left for me in this place

That keeps me
That makes me want to stay

I'm sorry
I apologize

For any
For any mistakes or misunderstandings

Misconceptions
Wrong assumptions or beliefs

My friend
To my friend

Yet I'm all but
But I am anything but

Sorry
Apologetic

For what ails you
For the problems you are facing

This time
Right now

I restarted, I cut my heart out,
I tried everything I could think of

I did everything you said I should
I followed your advice

Still I couldn't find the peace
I still couldn't find the happiness and contentment

I did it all for
All my efforts were for

So I let things burn,
So I let go of everything

I let them bleed to death
I let everything die out

And you ask me how that is better
And you wonder how that could be an improvement

Well haven't I already answered?
I already explained why I did it

Because this is...
Because life is...

Or at least it was, for twenty two years
At least that's how it has been for the past 22 years

And where ever I'm going now
No matter where I end up

It cant be worse
It can only get better

It feels great to know
It's a relief to know

It's really is all the same
It doesn't really matter where I go

And this is my last chance
This is my final opportunity

To go somewhere new
To start fresh in a new place

So I'm not waiting another day
I'm not going to postpone it any longer

With this
With these thoughts and feelings

You will no longer know me as
You won't recognize me as

The one, who wherever he goes
The person who always ends up

where ever he tries to stay
Everywhere he attempts to settle down

Has come to the wrong place
Has made a mistake in choosing where to be