Problems
The Z-Rays Lyrics

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I sympathize with you if you're experiencing difficulties in your romantic relationships

I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
I have multiple challenges in my life, but dealing with a disrespectful woman is not one of them

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
I have law enforcement officers monitoring my activities, ready to intervene if necessary

Foes that want to make sure my casket's closed
There are people who wish for my downfall and even my death

Rap critics that say he's 'Money, cash, hoes'
Critics of my music label me as someone who only values material wealth and objectifies women

I'm from the hood, stupid, what type of facts are those?
Coming from a disadvantaged background, it's absurd for people to make baseless assumptions about me

If you grew up with holes in your Zapatos
If you experienced poverty and had to wear worn-out shoes

You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough
You would appreciate and enjoy the moment when you finally have money

I'm like, 'Fuck critics' you can kiss my whole asshole
I don't care about the opinions of critics, I dismiss them completely

If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward
If you dislike the content of my songs, you have the option to skip or avoid listening to them

Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
Radio stations may have issues with me if I refuse to cooperate with their programming

They don't play my hits, well, I don't give a shit, so
If radio stations choose not to play my successful songs, it doesn't bother me at all

Rap mags try and use my black ass
Magazines focused on rap music try to exploit my African American identity

So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
They do this to attract more advertising revenue, which is morally objectionable

I don't know what you take me as
I'm uncertain about how you perceive me

Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
Or comprehend the level of intellect and wisdom I possess, being Jay-Z

I'm from rags to riches, niggas I ain't dumb
I've gone from poverty to wealth, I'm not naive

The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
In 1994, my car trunk contains illegal substances

In my rearview mirror is the motherfucking law
I see the police chasing after me through the car's rearview mirror

I got two choices y'all, pull over the car or
I have two options, either stop the car and surrender or

Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
Evade the police by accelerating the car at full speed

Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Jake
I don't want to engage in a high-speed pursuit with the police

Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case
Additionally, I have some money which I can use to defend myself legally

So I, pull over to the side of the road
Therefore, I decide to stop my car on the side of the road

I heard, 'Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?'
The police officer asks, 'Son, do you understand the reason why I pulled you over?'

'Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
'Because of my youth, race, and the way I wear my hat

Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
I sarcastically reply, 'Am I supposed to have telepathic abilities, sir? I have no idea'

Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
Am I being detained, or should I continue guessing the reason why you stopped me?

'Well you was doing fifty-five in a fifty-four' (uh huh)
'Well, you were driving slightly over the speed limit, going fifty-five in a fifty-four mph zone' (sarcastic response)

'License and registration and step out of the car'
'Show me your driver's license and car registration, and exit the vehicle'

'Are you carrying a weapon on you, I know a lot of you are'
'Do you have any weapons with you? I'm aware that many people carry weapons'

I ain't stepping out of shit, all my papers legit
I refuse to get out of the car because I have all the necessary legal documents

'Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?'
'Would you object if I conduct a search of your vehicle?'

Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
I inform the officer that both my glove compartment and trunk are locked

And I know my rights so you goin' need a warrant for that
I assert my knowledge of legal rights, stating that a search warrant is necessary

'Aren't you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something?'
'Aren't you clever? Are you a lawyer or something?'

'Somebody important or something?'
'Are you a person of importance?'

Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
I haven't passed the bar exam to become a lawyer, but I possess some legal knowledge

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
I have enough knowledge to prevent you from unlawfully searching my belongings

'Well we'll see how smart you are when the K-9 come'
'We'll find out how clever you are when the police dog arrives'

I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me
I have various difficulties to deal with, but dealing with an unpleasant woman is not one of them

Now once upon a time not too long ago
At some point in the recent past

A nigga like myself had to strong-arm a ho
I, as an African American man, had to resort to using force on an obnoxious individual

This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy
By 'ho,' I'm not referring to a promiscuous woman

But a pussy having no goddamn sense try and push me
Rather, I mean someone who lacks common sense and tries to provoke me

I tried to ignore 'em, talk to the Lord
I attempted to disregard their actions and communicate with God

Pray for 'em, 'cause some fools just love to perform
I uttered prayers on their behalf because some individuals enjoy causing trouble and seeking attention

You know the type, loud as a motorbike
You're familiar with such people, excessively noisy like a motorcycle

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
However, they lack the courage to engage in any real confrontation

The only thing that's goin' happen is I'ma get to clapping and
The only outcome will be me resorting to violence and clapping (shooting) at them

He and his boys goin' be yapping to the Captain
The person and his companions will complain about me to the authorities

And there I go trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Consequently, I find myself caught up in a problematic situation once more

Back through the system with the riff-raff again
I have to endure going through the legal system dealing with the unsavory individuals

Fiends on the floor scratching again
Drug addicts are present, desperately scratching themselves for another hit

Paparazzi's with they cameras, snapping 'em
Paparazzi photographers are taking pictures of the chaotic scene

D.A. tried to give a nigga shaft again
The District Attorney attempted to unfairly treat and manipulate me once more

Half a mil' for bail 'cause I'm African
They demanded a bail amount of $500,000 because of my African heritage

All because this fool was harassing them
This entire situation arose because an idiot was causing trouble for them

Trying to play the boy like he's saccharine
Attempting to manipulate and treat me as if I'm overly sweet or insincere

But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
But there's nothing pleasant about how I handle and use my firearm

I got ninety-nine problems being a bitch ain't one, hit me
I have numerous problems to deal with, but being submissive or weak is not one of them

Having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I sympathize with you if you're encountering difficulties in your romantic relationships

I got ninety-nine problems and a bitch ain't one
I have many challenges in my life, but dealing with a disrespectful woman is not one of them

You're crazy for this one, Rick, it's your boy
You, Rick, went all out on this one, it's your creation, and I'm proud of it