Their debut album - All Eternity - was released in Finland by the end of that year and the band then signed contracts with Nuclear Blast (for Europe) and Pony Canyon (for Japan). In 2000, the band toured Europe together with Dark Tranquillity, Sentenced and In Flames. Epilogue was released in 2001 and was followed by a tour with Lacrimosa.
The album Jaded was released in 2003 and in August of that year, vocalist Jarno Perätalo left the band. He assembled a new band named Tiaga, integrated by former members of To/Die/For. However, in 2004, Jarno Perätalo and the band Tiaga took the name To/Die/For for themselves, releasing the album IV in 2005.
Chaotic Me
To/Die/For Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Quiet conscience and creed?
I'm too lost to be saved.
I've done what I've done,
Never dreamt about babylon I've built my own heaven!!
Save yourself if that's what you want?
I feel powerful to be CHAOTIC ME!
I'M MY BIGGEST LORD AND I ALWAYS WILL BE
YOUR RELIGION IS NOT FOR ME!
I'VE BUILT MY OWN WORLD
SWEET CHAOTIC ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm guilty alone,when something goes wrong!
It's not the punishment from gods.
Conscience doesn't bother me about yesterday
...I'm proud of myself
I'm too lost to be saved..lost in my nights and days
I obey my own rules
Sweet rules that I've made
Salvation what it is? nothing but a piece of shit
MY HEAVEN IS REAL.........MY HEAVEN IS REAL!!
The lyrics of To/Die/For's song, Chaotic Me, capture a profound sense of self-determination and individuality – of being in charge of one's own destiny, irrespective of any external religious or societal constructs. The song's opening lines, "Salvation what it is? Quiet conscience and creed? I'm too lost to be saved," highlight the singer's rejection of conventional religious salvation, choosing to construct their own ideology, their own creed, and finding solace in their own thoughts and beliefs, unburdened by the yoke of religion. The singer has built their own paradise, their own heaven, completely devoid of the masses of Babylon, and this realization of one's own heaven silences the nagging questions of religious conscience, allowing the singer to feel invincible.
The lyrics also highlight the underlying theme of this individualism, with the emphasis on "I" and "me," and the repeated mention of "my own" and "my own rules," implying that the singer is answerable to no one but oneself. The singer revels in being Chaotic Me, feeling powerful because of their autonomy, their independence. Essentially, the song portrays a sense of pride in one's ability to create one's world to one's liking, and the strength of will to live life unfettered by anyone's judgment or expectations.
Line by Line Meaning
Salvation what it is?
The singer questions the meaning of salvation.
Quiet conscience and creed?
The singer wonders if a calm conscience and strong beliefs define salvation.
I'm too lost to be saved.
The singer feels as though they are beyond the point of salvation.
I've done what I've done,
The individual has accepted responsibility for their actions.
Never dreamt about babylon I've built my own heaven!!
Instead of seeking salvation, the artist has created their own version of heaven.
Save yourself if that's what you want?
The singer questions the value of saving oneself.
I feel powerful to be CHAOTIC ME!
The individual takes pride in their chaotic nature and sense of power.
THERE'S NO GODS IN MY NIGHTS AND DAYS
The artist declares the absence of gods in their life.
I'M MY BIGGEST LORD AND I ALWAYS WILL BE
The individual considers themselves their own highest authority.
YOUR RELIGION IS NOT FOR ME!
The artist rejects organized religion.
I'VE BUILT MY OWN WORLD
The individual has created a personalized world.
SWEET CHAOTIC ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The artist embraces their chaotic self.
I'm guilty alone,when something goes wrong!
The singer takes on sole responsibility for any mishaps or failures.
It's not the punishment from gods.
The individual does not believe in divine punishment or intervention.
Conscience doesn't bother me about yesterday
The singer does not feel guilty about past actions.
...I'm proud of myself
The individual takes pride in who they are despite societal expectations.
I'm too lost to be saved..lost in my nights and days
The artist reiterates their belief that they are beyond salvation.
I obey my own rules
The individual believes that they are not bound by societal norms or rules.
Sweet rules that I've made
The singer has created their own set of rules that they find pleasing.
Salvation what it is? nothing but a piece of shit
The artist dismisses the notion of salvation as pointless.
MY HEAVEN IS REAL.........MY HEAVEN IS REAL!!
The artist affirms the existence of their self-created heaven.
Contributed by Sydney I. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Andres Garzon
I have to say it: I Love this song! Powerful lyrics too!