Don't Slay That Potato
Tom Paxton Lyrics


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Don't Slay That Potato
By Tom Paxton

How can you do it? It's heartless, it's cruel.
It's murder, cold-blooded, it's gross.
To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew
Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast.
Have you no decency? Have you no shame?
Have you no conscience, you cad,
To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth
Away from it's poor mom and dad?
Chorus:
Oh, no, don't slay that potato!
Let us be merciful, please.
Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze-dry it.
Don't slice it or flake it.
For God's sake, don't bake it!
Don't she'd the poor blood
Of this poor helpless spud.
That's the worst kind of thing you could do.
Oh, no, don't slay that potato
What never done nothing to you!

Why not try picking on something your size
Instead of some carrot or bean?
The peas are all trembling there in their pod
Just because you're so vicious and mean.
How would you like to be grabbed by your hair
And ruthlessly yanked from your bed
And have done to you God knows what horrible things,
To be eaten with full-fiber bread?
[Chorus:]
It's no bed of roses, this vegetable life.
You're basically stuck in the mud.
You don't get around much. You don't see the sights
When you're a carrot or celery or spud.
You're helpless when somebody's flea-bitten dog
Takes a notion to pause for relief.
Then somebody picks you and cleans you and eats you
And causes you nothing but grief.
[Chorus:]
There ought to be some way of saving our skins.
They ought to be passing a law.
Just show anybody a cute little lamb
And they'll all stand around and go "Aw!"
Well, potatoes are ugly. Potatoes are plain.
We're wrinkled and lumpy to boot.
But give me a break, kid. Do you mean to say




That you'll eat us because we're not cute?
(Chorus

Overall Meaning

In the song "Don't Slay That Potato," Tom Paxton sings about the cruelty and heartlessness of killing innocent vegetables for human consumption. The song is a humorous take on vegetarianism and animal rights, specifically focusing on the plight of potatoes. Paxton questions how someone could be so insensitive as to rip a potato out of the ground, separating it from its family, only to boil, fry, bake, or even freeze-dry it for consumption. He argues that potatoes are innocent creatures that have done nothing to deserve such treatment, and urges people to be merciful and spare them from the slaughter.


Paxton uses vivid imagery to paint a picture of the atrocities committed against potatoes. He describes how other vegetables tremble in fear, knowing they could be next, and compares the harvesting and consumption of vegetables to torture and murder. The chorus of the song repeats the plea to spare the potato, using a lighthearted tone to communicate the message.


Overall, "Don't Slay That Potato" is a satirical look at vegetarianism, using humor to promote a message of compassion for all living beings. Paxton's clever lyrics and catchy melody make the song a memorable and entertaining listen, while also highlighting an important issue of animal rights and the ethics of human consumption.


Line by Line Meaning

How can you do it? It's heartless, it's cruel.
Killing a vegetable just to cook a stew, such an act is terrible and cold-blooded.


It's murder, cold-blooded, it's gross.
Killing vegetables for meals is comparable to walking in a graveyard and saying 'hello everybody.'


To slay a poor vegetable just for your stew
It's cruel to pick up a carrot or a potato from where it grows and place it into your pan.


Or to serve with some cheese sauce on toast.
Ripping the vegetables from their roots to use as toppings on cheese toast is unkind and inhumane.


Have you no decency? Have you no shame?
Is it really fair or just to take the vegetables from the farm, knowing what horrors await them?


Have you no conscience, you cad,
Do you have no sense of morality or empathy, you rascal?


To rip that poor vegetable out of the earth
It is horrifying to grab a humble vegetable out of the warm soil in which it belongs.


Away from it's poor mom and dad?
Taking vegetables from their parents in the field is an unforgivable and immoral act.


Oh, no, don't slay that potato!
Please, have a heart and don't kill the vegetable!


Let us be merciful, please.
Have some mercy on the helpless potatoes, carrots and beans.


Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze-dry it.
Don't torture the vegetables by boiling, frying, or freezing them to death.


Don't slice it or flake it.
It's morally damning to chop up a vegetable in preparation for eating.


For God's sake, don't bake it!
Above all, don't cook the vegetable in the oven!


Don't she'd the poor blood
Don't take away the poor vegetable's livelihood


Of this poor helpless spud.
The potato is powerless and cannot protect itself.


That's the worst kind of thing you could do.
To harm an innocent vegetable is an unthinkable crime.


Why not try picking on something your size
Instead of harming innocent vegetables, why not bully someone your own size?


Instead of some carrot or bean?
Leave the carrots and beans alone; they did not harm you.


The peas are all trembling there in their pod
The peas are scared of you because of your violent and ruthless behavior.


Just because you're so vicious and mean.
You are cruel and aggressive, and the poor peas are just trying to survive.


How would you like to be grabbed by your hair
Wouldn't you feel terrible if someone grabbed your own hair?


And ruthlessly yanked from your bed
And pulled you out of your comfortable bed without a second thought.


And have done to you God knows what horrible things,
Being subject to unspeakable horrors, you would understand what vegetables go through.


To be eaten with full-fiber bread?
Imagine if you underwent such atrocities just to be eaten along with whole-grain bread.


It's no bed of roses, this vegetable life.
Being a vegetable is not easy or comfortable, but it doesn't justify being killed and eaten.


You're basically stuck in the mud.
Vegetables have no choice but to remain rooted in the soil, it's not fair to take advantage of them.


You don't get around much. You don't see the sights
Vegetables don't have the freedom to travel or explore, unlike humans.


When you're a carrot or celery or spud.
It's not fair to criticize the vegetable for its inability to do what humans can.


You're helpless when somebody's flea-bitten dog
When something like a flea-bitten dog gets to you, you are powerless to defend yourself.


Takes a notion to pause for relief.
When a dog decides to pee on a vegetable, there's nothing you can do about it.


Then somebody picks you and cleans you and eats you
After everything vegetables go through, the worst end for them is being plucked from the earth and eaten.


And causes you nothing but grief.
Being eaten is an unimaginable tragedy for the vegetable.


There ought to be some way of saving our skins.
We need protection to prevent us from being hunted down and consumed.


They ought to be passing a law.
The only way to keep vegetables safe is by instating protective legislation.


Just show anybody a cute little lamb
People are outraged at the idea of someone hurting a lamb, which means the lives of vegetables are just as deserving of protection.


And they'll all stand around and go 'Aw!'
If someone were to show a cute little lamb, everyone will gather around and dote on it with affection.


Well, potatoes are ugly. Potatoes are plain.
We may not be attractive or eye-catching, but that's not a good enough reason to hurt us.


We're wrinkled and lumpy to boot.
Potatoes have some physical features that make them unappealing, which shouldn't make them any less of value.


But give me a break, kid. Do you mean to say
Cut us some slack and understand that although potatoes are not beautiful, we have a right to live.


That you'll eat us because we're not cute?
Just because we look ordinary, you will still eat us, but that's not reasonable or fair.


Oh, no, don't slay that potato!
Please, have a heart and don't kill the vegetable.


Let us be merciful, please.
Have some mercy on the helpless potatoes, carrots and beans.


Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze-dry it.
Don't torture the vegetables by boiling, frying, or freezing them to death.


Don't slice it or flake it.
It's morally damning to chop up a vegetable in preparation for eating.


For God's sake, don't bake it!
Above all, don't cook the vegetable in the oven!


Don't she'd the poor blood
Don't take away the poor vegetable's livelihood.


Of this poor helpless spud.
The potato is powerless and cannot protect itself.


That's the worst kind of thing you could do.
To harm an innocent vegetable is an unthinkable crime.




Contributed by Connor H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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