ask
Van Etten Sharon Lyrics
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Like cigarette ash,
The world is collapsing around me.
Let's try to do the best we can.
I think I need more than the flowers and letters, man.
It's not that I don't try, it's that you won't again
And it hurts too much to laugh about it
(Yes it hurts too much to laugh about it)
Hey, please think about it, friend.
I know you're lonely, I'm here writing in the dark
Tryin' to get the balls
But it hurts too much to ask
Dear I Need Someone Who's Lost,
Tell me how not to stop all these tears and fears
So nothing else will drop,
So all this pain will stop.
But if it hurts too much ask
If it hurts too much to ask
It's not that I don't cry,
It's that I have to hide,
Yeah it's that I have to hide
So I won't be there to ask.
So I won't be there to ask.
No, I won't be the one to ask.
I won't be there to ask.
It hurts too much to laugh about it.
Yes it hurts too much to laugh about it.
Yes it hurts too much to laugh about it, man.
The song "Ask" by Sharon Van Etten is a melancholy reflection on the difficulties of communication and connection in relationships. Van Etten laments the transient nature of things that we might look to for stability, like cigarette ash. She acknowledges the turmoil that surrounds her, and urges herself and her loved one to make the best of what they can in this difficult world. She expresses a need for something more substantial than mere tokens of affection like flowers and letters, indicating that the relationship is lacking in some deeper level of intimacy or understanding.
Van Etten then addresses a friend who is also struggling with loneliness, reaching out to them in an attempt to connect. She admits to being scared to ask for the things she needs, torn between a desire for vulnerability and the fear of being hurt. The line "tryin' to get the balls" suggests a sense of inadequacy or powerlessness, further underscoring her reluctance to speak up. She then shifts to addressing an unspecified individual who she needs but who cannot give her what she needs. She begs for advice on how to stop crying and feeling afraid, wishing for the pain to subside. However, once again she acknowledges that it can be impossibly difficult to ask for help when one is in a state of emotional distress.
Throughout the song, Van Etten captures the paradox of wanting intimacy but being afraid of vulnerability. The refrain "It hurts too much to laugh about it" highlights the pain inherent in these situations, and the need to sometimes protect oneself from further harm. Ultimately, "Ask" is a poignant rumination on the challenges of establishing and maintaining meaningful connections, and the ways in which we can sometimes get in our own way.
Line by Line Meaning
Let's find something that can last.
Let's search for something that can endure the test of time.
Like cigarette ash,
Something that won't last long, like the ash of a cigarette.
The world is collapsing around me.
I feel like everything is falling apart in my life.
Let's try to do the best we can.
We must put in our best effort despite the challenges we face.
I think I need more than the flowers and letters, man.
Words of sympathy are not enough to ease my pain and sorrow.
It's not that I don't try, it's that you won't again
I have been attempting to repair our relationship, but you are not making any effort.
And it hurts too much to laugh about it
The situation is so painful and distressing that even laughing seems impossible.
(Yes it hurts too much to laugh about it)
Reiterating that the pain is too much to bear and laughing is out of the question.
Hey, please think about it, friend.
I request you to reflect on our relationship, my friend.
I know you're lonely, I'm here writing in the dark
I understand that you are feeling isolated, and I am expressing my thoughts in the solitude of darkness.
Tryin' to get the balls
I am attempting to gather the courage required to address the issue.
But it hurts too much to ask
I am hesitant to bring up the topic as it will only cause more pain.
Dear I Need Someone Who's Lost,
This is a letter addressed to anyone who has lost someone or something they cherish.
Tell me how not to stop all these tears and fears
I am seeking guidance on how to cope with my grief and anxiety.
So nothing else will drop,
Hoping that no other unfortunate event will happen.
So all this pain will stop.
Praying for the agony to end and for peace to take its place.
It's not that I don't cry,
I do shed tears, but not in front of others.
It's that I have to hide,
I hide my tears to avoid being pitied or judged by others.
Yeah it's that I have to hide
Repeating that concealing my emotions is a necessity.
So I won't be there to ask.
I choose to distance myself so that I don't have to confront the situation.
No, I won't be the one to ask.
Clarifying that I won't initiate the conversation about the issue.
It hurts too much to laugh about it.
Reiterating that the situation is too painful to find humor in it.
Yes it hurts too much to laugh about it.
Emphasizing that it is impossible to laugh away the pain.
Yes it hurts too much to laugh about it, man.
Conveying that the pain is unbearable and it is not a laughing matter.
Lyrics © WORDS & MUSIC A DIV OF BIG DEAL MUSIC LLC, BMG Rights Management, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: AARON BROOKING DESSNER, SHARON KATHARINE VAN ETTEN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind