Help I'm A Rock
Zappa Mothers Lyrics

Help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock, help I'm a rock!
The singer is expressing that he needs help and that being a rock is a drag

Help I'm a rock...
The singer repeats his need for help and his dissatisfaction with being a rock

Wow man, it's a drag being a rock
The singer reiterates that being a rock is a difficult and unpleasant experience

I wish I was anything but a rock
The artist expresses a desire to be anything other than a rock

Heck, I'd even like to be a policeman
The artist mentions a desire to be a policeman, indicating a desire for some form of agency or control over his life

Hey, you know what, you know maybe if I practised, you know
The singer proposes the idea of improving his skills and abilities to achieve his desired profession

Maybe if I passed my driving test
The singer identifies one of the requirements for being a bus driver, further indicating his desire for a sense of control or agency in his life

I could get a gig drivin' that bus and pick some freaks up
The artist fantasizes about being a bus driver and picking up unconventional or interesting people, perhaps reflecting a desire for a more exciting life

Help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop, help I'm a cop!
The artist has transitioned to expressing a desire to be a cop rather than a rock, indicating a shift in his desires and aspirations

It's a drag being a cop, I think I'd rather be the mayor
The artist expresses dissatisfaction with his current profession and mentions a desire for a higher level of power and authority

Always wondered what I was gonna be when I grew up, you know
The singer reflects on his childhood dreams for his future

Always wondered whether or not, whether or not I could make it,
The artist indicates a sense of insecurity and self-doubt related to his ability to achieve his dreams and goals

You know, it's a drag when you're rejected
The singer expresses frustration about being rejected, indicating a sense of disappointment and discouragement

So I tore the cover off a book of matches and I sent in
The singer describes a impulsive and unconventional way of applying for a job or opportunity

And I got this letter back that said, UHU, AHA
The singer has received a letter of unknown content, but the use of 'UHU, AHA' may suggest that it is an unsatisfactory or negative response

It can't happen here
The artist repeats this phrase to express their disbelief that certain events or situations could occur

I'm telling you, my dear
The artist addresses an unknown listener and emphasizes the importance of their statement

Because I been checkin' it out, baby
The singer asserts that they have researched and analyzed the situation in question

I checked it out a couple a times, hmmmmmmmm
The singer emphasizes the thoroughness of their analysis, adding a sense of credibility to their statement

Oh darling, it's important that you believe me
The artist addresses a listener and urges them to trust and believe in their statement

Who could imagine that they would freak out somewhere in Kansas...
The artist asks a rhetorical question and refers to a hypothetical event that might occur in a location

Mimimimimimimi Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota
The artist repeats 'Minnesota' to create a rhythmic effect and to refer to another hypothetical location

Who could imagine...
The singer repeats the rhetorical question to create an ominous effect

That they would freak out in Washington, D.C.
The artist creates another hypothetical scenario in a high profile location

Everybody's safe and it can't happen here
The singer adopts a sarcastic tone, mocking the idea that everyone is always safe and no negative events could occur

No freaks for us
The singer adopts a dismissive tone, suggesting that the listener has no need to worry about unconventional or disturbing events

Plastic folks, you know
The singer uses a derogatory term to refer to people who are superficial or insincere

You're safe, mama
The artist addresses an unknown listener, offering reassurance that they are safe

You just cook a TV dinner
The artist suggests that the listener should engage in simple, distracting activities rather than worry about potential negative events

And you make it
The singer emphasizes that the listener is capable of completing simple tasks

Oh, and it won't happen here
The singer repeats this phrase to further emphasize their disbelief that negative events could occur in their location

Who could imagine
The artist repeats the rhetorical question to create a sense of unease and anticipation

They had a swimming pool
The artist reminisces about a setting that may have been safe or idyllic

They knew it couldn't happen here
The artist suggests that the people in the idyllic setting were naive and delusional to believe that nothing negative could occur

They were so sure it couldn't happen here
The singer emphasizes the delusional nature of the people in the idyllic setting

Suzie...
The artist directs their attention to an unknown person named Suzie

Yes yes yes--I've always felt that
The singer agrees with Suzie's statement and indicates that they have had similar thoughts

Yes I agree man, it really makes it...yeah...
The singer affirms their agreement with Suzie's statement and expresses enthusiasm and satisfaction

It's a real THING, man
The singer emphasizes the meaningfulness and importance of the topic under discussion

Makes it
The artist uses a short phrase to indicate the relevance or impact of the topic under discussion

Forget it!
The artist dismisses or rejects an idea or topic under discussion

Hmmmmmmmmm
The singer uses a nonverbal vocalization to indicate uncertainty or ambiguity

(It can't happen here)
The singer repeats the phrase as a reminder of their disbelief that negative events could occur in their location