Bittersweet
a bitter end. Lyrics

I found this picture from 2005
I stumbled upon a photograph from the year 2005, which triggered memories

If I remember I used to be so shy
In my recollection, I was quite timid and reserved

I used to be so careless when I was young
During my youth, I acted without much concern or thoughtfulness

I remember being so depressed when you were gone
I recall experiencing deep sadness and despair during your absence

Didn't have a voice to speak with
I lacked the ability to express myself and communicate effectively

Didn't have an ear that I could reside
There was no one who would actively listen and understand my thoughts and feelings

All the fears I kept within
I concealed all my anxieties and worries internally

All I wanted was to divide
My main desire was to create a division or separation

I let things get to me
I allowed external factors to affect and disturb me emotionally

Stood there like I was a stone
I remained motionless and unmoved, resembling a solid and unfeeling object

A coward I refuse to be
I reject the notion of being a coward and lacking bravery

That's not how I'll raise my son
I will not bring up my child in a similar manner; I aspire to be different

And I learned from my mistakes
I gained wisdom and knowledge from the errors I committed in the past

Cuz they robbed me of my soul
Because those mistakes deprived me of my inner essence and spirit

And I know it's not too late
I possess the understanding that there is still time to make a change

Too late
The opportunity for action has not yet passed

Bittersweet is this feeling inside
This emotion within me is simultaneously both sweet and bitter, evoking mixed sentiments

I never know my blessings till they die
I fail to recognize and appreciate my blessings until they are lost or gone

I can't waste my life holding back
I cannot squander my existence by restraining myself and not fully expressing who I am

Every time I'm losing sight
Whenever I begin to lose clarity or purpose

Bittersweet is my life
My life is characterized by this mixture of both pleasant and sorrowful experiences

I can't believe it's past
I find it difficult to comprehend that the time has elapsed and is now behind me

And I know it's not too late
I have the awareness that there is still an opportunity for action and change

Broken from the start
Since the beginning, I have been emotionally damaged and fractured

Ever since that, I gave you my heart
From that moment when I entrusted you with my heart, things have not been the same

And I only blame myself, you know
I hold only myself accountable, acknowledging that I am responsible

Cuz I remember that first time that we talked
I reminisce about our initial conversation and interaction

I remember the first time that we walked together
I recall the moment when we first walked side by side in each other's company

Only to find the reasons
But unfortunately, it became evident and clear why things unfolded the way they did

The truth, that our actions didn't mean anything
The undeniable reality is that our deeds held no significance or value

That our love didn't mean anything
Our love held no true meaning or depth

That our words didn't mean anything
The words we exchanged had no genuine significance or impact

Cuz you and I were selfish
Because both of us displayed a self-centered and egotistical nature

Only wanted to play a game
Our intentions were solely focused on engaging in a game or manipulation

But the game was better
Yet the game, or the act of playing, gained the upper hand

Yeah, what if I want to stick by your side
Consider this, what if I desire to remain loyal and support you

Would it be selfish?
Is this act of sticking with you seen as self-serving or self-centered?

What if I want to stick by your side
Even if I choose to stand by your side, despite everything

Would it be hopeless?
Will such a decision be devoid of hope or belonging?

Bittersweet is this feeling inside
The sensation dwelling within me is a blend of both delight and sorrow

I never know my blessing till they die
Regrettably, I fail to recognize and appreciate my blessings until they are no longer present

Bittersweet is my life
My existence is characterized by this dichotomy of sweet and bitter experiences

My life
The entirety of my being

My life
The essence of my existence

Didn't have a voice to speak with
I lacked the means to express myself verbally and assert my thoughts

All the fears I kept within
I concealed all my anxieties and apprehensions deep within myself

All I wanted was to divide
My sole desire was to create a separation or divide between things