I'm Gone
beatnick & k-salaam Lyrics

Someone tell my why I'm always fuckin things up
I am struggling with making mistakes and need someone to help me understand why.

Am I wastin all my time, I gave my heart and got nothin
I feel like I am wasting my time and putting effort into things that do not pay off.

I tell myself these lies because I wish I had someone
I am telling myself false things because I am hoping for companionship.

Sometimes I gotta cry like someone chopping up onions
I am overwhelmed with emotion and need to let it out through crying.

My life got thrown inside a dicer I feel like everything's wrong
I feel like everything in my life is going wrong and I'm getting cut up into pieces.

We used to be closer but now I feel you've moved on
Someone I was once close with has distanced themselves from me and it has left me feeling alone.

I feel depressed and I feel reckless, all I do is write songs
I am feeling low and acting recklessly, but I am finding solace in writing music.

If I don't make it, I hope you remember me when I'm gone
In the event that I do not succeed, I hope to still be remembered after I am no longer here.

It's hard to keep on going with the thought etched in my mind
I am finding it difficult to continue moving forward with a certain idea or thought stuck in my head.

No matter how much I do right I'll still be wasting my time
I feel like my efforts are futile and even if I do everything right, it won't matter.

If time is money I'm losin wealth by the second
I am aware that time is valuable and feel like I am losing it by the second.

It's kinda funny I'm alive cause my health I don't respect it
I find it ironic that I am still alive even though I do not take care of my health.

Just tryna buy a necklace, I was overzealous
I was being impulsive and overly excited about buying a necklace.

Wanted Bape like a gorilla, Wanted beats like I'm J Dilla
I wanted trendy clothing and music equipment to feel cool and relevant.

Want to eat like I'm a king, Wanted her to have a ring
I aspire to live luxuriously and want to give a significant other an engagement ring.

Only real ones know the meaning, Only therapy is singing
Only those who can relate to me understand the true meaning of my music, and I find solace in singing.

I wish I wasn't dreaming, Out the bed I would be springing
I wish my dreams were reality and I could wake up with a renewed sense of energy.

Onto me you would be clinging, Fuck I wish I wasn't dreaming
I wish someone who is important to me would cling onto me in reality instead of it being a dream.

Reality is that I am, I am supposed to act like a man
I am acknowledging that I need to act maturely and responsibly like an adult male.

That's the shit that I do not understand, You know I am wingin it I ain't got no plan
I do not understand how to act like a mature adult and I am simply trying to figure things out without a solid plan.

I wanna fly away like I'm a bird, Feels like I'm on heaven cause you are on earth
I want to escape my current situation and feel like I am in heaven when around a certain person.

Looks like the dream will be kicked to the curb, Sad that all of this is because of a girl
It seems like my hopes and aspirations will not come to fruition and it is unfortunate that it is due to a girl.

Again and again I fuck it up, Sippin on gin to suck it up
I continuously make mistakes and am trying to cope by drinking gin.

I will never drown like a rubber duck, Sirens are out like a fire truck
I feel unstoppable like a buoyant rubber duck and there is a sense of danger nearby like sirens of a fire truck.

Is it luck or is it me, Cause every single one I see
I am questioning if luck or something about me is causing me to not connect with others.

Won't ever speak to me, No you won't speak to me
I feel ignored by people who I wish to connect with.

Nah I can't let it be, This shit that's plaguing me
I cannot let this problem continue to affect me negatively.

Maybe I'll turn a leaf, Maybe I'll see new things
Perhaps I will have a new beginning and see things in a different or refreshed light.

See how it's supposed to be, I'm livin in my tragedy
I hope to understand how things should be and have a better life, but currently living in a tragic state.

I can't see why it has to be, Like this why it has to be
I cannot understand why I have to go through my current struggles and why it has to be this way.

When will I live differently, When will I see properly
I am hoping for a change in my life and to see things clearly instead of through a clouded lens.

When will they stop lyin to me, When will you stop tryna be
I want to stop being lied to and have people be honest with me.

Somebody you ain't supposed to be, Why won't you stay close to me
I do not want someone to fake their personality and I wish they would stay close to me.

Y'all never stay close to me, That is what's broken me
I feel like people do not stay close to me and it has affected me negatively.

So many times it's happened, I can't figure it out
Something has happened multiple times but I am unsure of what exactly it is.

I feel like I'm in a desert, but can I find my way out
I feel lost and alone like I am in a desert, but I am hoping to find a way out of my situation.

I waste my time lookin for someone that could help end the drought
I spend my time searching for someone who could help me escape my troubled state.

No matter how much my friends help I always feel so left out
Even though my friends offer support, I still have feelings of loneliness and exclusion.