the van's song
jack kevorkian and the suicide machines Lyrics

Well, you're just like a club fag wearing Doc Martens
You are trying too hard to be cool by wearing Doc Martens and it comes off as inauthentic and lame.

Get a pair of chukas or some checkerboard slip-ons
Instead of trying to fit in with a trend, find your own unique style with different shoe options like chukas or checkerboard slip-ons.

Worship Jeff Spicoli not Chris Cornell
Don't idolize someone just because they are popular or famous, but rather find inspiration in characters like Jeff Spicoli who have their own distinct personality.

Get a pair of Vans or God will send you to Hell
This line is likely meant to be humorous and satirical, but with the message that wearing Vans will make you cooler than other shoe options.

Since someone sliced a loaf of bread in someone else's kitchen
This line seems disconnected from the rest of the song, but could be interpreted as a commentary on how something as seemingly mundane as slicing bread can have a ripple effect and lead to larger changes or trends.

The plain truth is that you just plain suck
This could be interpreted as an insult towards those who are try-hards or fake in their attempts to be cool by following trends.

So why should I tell you not to waste a hundred bucks
Rather than trying to convince someone to not buy a certain shoe, the singer doesn't care what they spend their money on, but thinks buying Vans is the better option.

Vans in my head
The artist is preoccupied with thoughts of Vans shoes.

Vans on my feet
The artist is wearing Vans shoes.

My sole is on the ground when I'm walking down the street 2, 3, 4
This line reinforces that the artist is wearing Vans shoes and walking down the street.

Don't wear no Doc Martens
The singer thinks that Doc Martens are not cool and encourages others not to wear them.

Can't wear no Birkenstocks
Birkenstocks are another shoe option that the artist does not consider to be cool.

Just a crummy old pair of chuka boots and a smelly old pair of socks¡­
The singer is not trying to impress anyone with their shoe choices and is comfortable in their own unique style.

If you want to wear them you don't have to ride a skateboard
Wearing Vans does not require one to fit into a certain subculture, like skateboarding.

You can even wear them with a pair of old cords
Vans shoes can be paired with different clothing options, including older or more comfortable clothing.

Someone'll probably tell you that they're not in trend
Others may criticize or mock wearing Vans, but the artist ignores this criticism.

Just tell them that's the reason why you don't have any friends
This line seems to be sarcastic, implying that someone's shoe choice is not the reason why they may not have friends, but rather their personality or behavior.

I don't want to hear about alternative footwear
The singer is not interested in hearing about other shoe options besides Vans.

And I don't want to hear about your new hair-do
The singer is not interested in hearing about someone's appearance or efforts to fit in with trends.

I don't give a shit about you stupid motherfuckers
The artist does not care about those who disagree with their shoe choice or those who try too hard to fit in with trends.

'Cause I just want to get a pair of olive green chukas!
The artist has a specific shoe preference and is excited to get a pair of olive green chukas.