Recover
mary is Lyrics

I told myself that I would always be afraid
I convinced myself that I would constantly live in fear

And told myself that there could be no other way
I convinced myself that there were no alternative paths

I told myself, maybe if they'd only stay
I convinced myself that if they had only remained with me

I would be okay
I would somehow be alright

But I watched them as they went away
However, I witnessed them departing

I still feel it in my chest as I am today
I still carry the emotional burden within me until this very moment

She would tell me that there was no other way
She would insist that there were no alternate possibilities

I remember when I used to close my eyes and pray
I recall the times I would shut my eyes and seek solace in prayer

See you later, alligator
Farewell, my friend

She took everything from me
She deprived me of everything

Doesn't mean I have to hate her
But that does not require me to despise her

In a while, crocodile
Until we meet again

The world is still good
The world continues to possess goodness

Although some parts are vile
Even though some aspects are detestable

When I was a kid, I would try to run away
During my childhood, I would attempt to escape

But every time, I would turn around halfway
Yet each time, I would have a change of heart midway

I'd come home in hopes that my mom would hug me
I would return home, yearning for my mother's embrace

And that she would say
And for her to tell me

"I am so glad you're okay"
"I am relieved that you are fine"

But I wasn't gone long enough for them to notice
However, my absence was not lengthy enough for anyone to realize

I stared into space until it all went out of focus
I gazed into emptiness until everything blurred

I cried on early mornings that our parents woke us
During the early mornings when our parents awakened us, I wept

Scared that I was sitting on the edge of psychosis
Frightened that I was teetering on the brink of madness

One day then, I'll see you again
Eventually, I will encounter you once more

And just because they leave
And simply because they depart

Doesn't mean I have to hate them
Doesn't mean I must hold animosity towards them

In a while, quite some while
After some time, a considerable duration

I will find myself and I will reconcile
I will rediscover my true self and achieve harmony

See you soon then, not too soon when
Until we meet again, not too soon though

My heart, it opens and expands
My heart widens and grows

And I will be again
And I will become whole once more