I Don't Exist
olivia o'brien Lyrics

I've been doomed from the start
My life has been filled with unfortunate events and misfortune since the beginning.

Everything around me falls apart
The things and people in my life always seem to crumble and break down.

So quickly always end up with a broken heart
I constantly find myself in situations that lead to heartbreak, and it happens abruptly.

Even Tylenol can't fix me
Even if I try to numb my pain with medication, it doesn't heal me completely.

Unless it's mixed with whiskey
The only way I find temporary relief is by combining Tylenol with alcohol.

I ain't even sad, I'm just bored
It's not that I'm feeling melancholy, but rather a constant sense of emptiness and lack of interest.

Nothing can excite me anymore like you used to
No source of joy or excitement can compare to how you used to make me feel.

Hollywood has lost all its allure
The glamour and appeal of Hollywood have faded away for me.

Used to be so pretty
Hollywood used to be enticing and attractive, but now it has lost its charm.

Now it's just a city
Hollywood is now just an ordinary place, devoid of its once captivating allure.

All of these people and all of their friends
I observe the individuals and their social circles around me.

Look so good together and I don't fit in
They appear harmonious and compatible, while I feel like an outsider who doesn't belong.

'Cause they're picture perfect
They possess the qualities and appearances that society considers ideal.

And I'm on the end
I am on the outskirts or margins of their social scene.

Crop me out the photo so they can pretend
Exclude me from the picture, and they can continue pretending I don't exist.

Like I don't exist
They want to ignore and act as if I am not present.

No
Emphasizing the negation of my existence.

When I feel good it never lasts
The moments of happiness and contentment I experience are fleeting and short-lived.

That's why you can find me living in the past if you need me
To escape the impermanence of joy, I often dwell in memories of the past.

Everybody says this shit will pass
Others believe that these negative feelings will eventually fade away.

I say it won't, they don't believe me
However, I disagree and express that it will not get better, but people don't believe my perspective.

Just tell me to deep breathe
People advise me to calm down and take deep breaths instead of acknowledging my pain.

Falling apart
I am experiencing a state of internal disintegration and emotional collapse.

Don't know what to do, what to do
I am lost and unsure of how to handle my current situation.

Looking for someone to save me, I don't know who
I am searching for a savior or someone who can rescue me, but I am uncertain about their identity.

Am I even real?
I question the authenticity of my existence.

It's hard to tell when I can't feel a fucking thing
The inability to experience any emotions makes it challenging to determine if I truly exist.