Numb
the a.m. disintegrate Lyrics

How you gon' fuck with my pride?
You're attacking my sense of self-worth and making me feel inferior.

How you gon' fuck with my mind?
You're manipulating my thoughts and causing confusion and distress.

How you gon' make me go numb?
You're causing me to retreat into emotional numbness and avoid feeling anything.

Bitch, you gon' make me go dumb
Your actions are causing me to act foolishly and without reason.

Big smoke pokin' my lungs
Taking in a lot of smoke is causing physical discomfort.

Big drink, yak, no rum
Drinking heavily, without regard for what's being consumed.

Had to get away with my sons
I had to leave with my companions or team, for our well-being.

Had to get away with my dons
I had to protect and flee with my mob or gang.

It's so hard, Big Pun
Dealing with this situation is really difficult, like Big Pun's music.

I don't wanna be a player, Big Pun
I don't want to play games or hurt people, like Big Pun's lyrics suggest.

I don't wanna be around no one
I want to be alone and avoid human interaction completely.

Gimme a drink and I'm on one
Having a drink is enough to make me become irrational and act recklessly.

With the boys, sip a cold one
Drinking with my male friends, casually.

Hit the road like a roadrunner
Leaving quickly and without hesitation or delay, like a roadrunner.

She don't love me but the hoes love her
She doesn't have feelings for me but she attracts a lot of attention from other men.

Cupid tryna take her soul from her
The concept of love or attraction is causing her pain or distress.

Yeah, fuck love, fuck love
I'm against the idea of romantic love and all the pain it brings.

I don't wanna love, I don't wanna love
I don't want to feel the emotions and consequences that come with love.

I just wanna take these drugs, yeah
I want to escape reality through the use of drugs.

Take these drugs and go numb
Using drugs to achieve a state of emotional numbness.

I don't wanna feel nothin', nothin', nothin'
I want to avoid feeling any kind of emotion.

How you gon' fuck with my heart?
You're causing emotional pain and heartbreak.

You play with my heart like darts
You're treating my heart as a game and inflicting pain like a dartboard target.

You broke my heart into parts (yeah)
You caused severe emotional damage and left me broken-hearted.

How you gon' stop what we start? (Damn)
You're preventing what we began from continuing or reaching completion.

How you gon' break what we build? (Build)
You're tearing down what we worked hard to construct and maintain.

How you know this wasn't real? (Real)
You're questioning the authenticity of our relationship and whether it meant nothing to you.

I know you feel what I feel (feelin')
I believe that you share the same emotions I have.

You turned my heart into steel
Your actions have caused me to become emotionally numb and unfeeling.

I feel like I'm Jack and I'm Jill (feel like I'm Jack and I'm Jill)
I feel like I'm in a helpless or hopeless situation, like the nursery rhyme characters.

Tryna get over this hill (tryna get over this hill)
Trying to overcome the obstacles and difficulties in front of me.

No, I'm not poppin' no pills (no, I'm not poppin' no pills)
Clarifying that I'm not using any prescription drugs to cope with my situation.

I just smoke weed and I chill (I just smoke weed and I chill)
Using marijuana to relax and escape for a while.

Yeah, I was tellin' you lies (I was tellin' you lies)
Admitting to the deception and dishonesty in our relationship.

Yeah, I fucked up sometimes (times)
Acknowledging my mistakes and errors in judgement.

Why would you fuck with my pride? (Why would you?)
Questioning your motives for attacking my sense of worth and value.

Why would you fuck with my mind? (Why would you fuck with my mind?)
Questioning your intentions for manipulating my thoughts and emotions.

I know I wasn't right, but I tried
I admit my faults, but I made an effort to make it right.

When they tell you it's up, better hide, yeah
Recommending that you protect yourself because trouble is coming.

But you'll see the truth in my eyes (swear you'll see the truth)
Promising that my honesty and sincerity will be evident in my expression.