You keep my feet high above my head
And my spine is tucked between my knees
I thought I would only know decay when I was dead
You make wilting something of ease

I never wanted to be twisted up like this
I think my body might get sick enough and quit
I never wanted to be twisted up amidst
All the prey that you claim for the taking

You wanna defeat me
You're trying to play me
(Got me) acting like I'm crazy
But frankly
I don't want to be around this
I don't want to stand for your bullshit, no
My energy isn't feeling you, you're not healing me you just
Wanna defeat me
You're trying to play me
(Got me) acting like I'm crazy
But frankly
I don't want to be around this
I don't want to stand for your bullshit, no
My enemy, I keep fighting but you keep killing me, you just

Turn my insides outside one by one
Dim the bright side of my attitude
Shatter any matter of the woman I'd become
Take my breaking bones as gratitude

I never thought I would be twisted up like this
But I know my spirit hasn't given up so I persist
And resist the urge to sit and reminisce
Of the days when you lay unawakened

You wanna defeat me
You're trying to play me
(Got me) acting like I'm crazy
But frankly
I don't want to be around this

I don't want to stand for your bullshit, no
My energy isn't feeling you, you're not healing me you just
Wanna defeat me
You're trying to play me
(Got me) acting like I'm crazy
But frankly
I don't want to be around this
I don't want to stand for your bullshit, no
My enemy, I keep fighting but you keep killing me, you just

You want to see my spirit dissipate
You want my body to disintegrate
But I refuse to just wither away
I won't succumb to this decay

You wanna defeat me
You're trying to play me
(Got me) acting like I'm crazy
But frankly
I don't want to be around this
I don't want to stand for your bullshit, no

...all the prey that you claim for the taking

I never thought I would be twisted up like this
But I know my spirit hasn't given up so I persist
And resist the urge to sit and reminisce
Of the days when you lay unawakened

My enemy, I'll keep fighting 'til you stop killing me

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Decay" by AkEnya express the singer's struggle to escape a toxic relationship. The song begins with the singer acknowledging that her partner has turned her life upside down, making even the simplest tasks, such as standing or sitting, a challenge. She explains that she believed "decay" (meaning the gradual deterioration of something) was something that happens when one is dead but now she is experiencing it while alive due to her toxic relationship. However, her partner has made it appear effortless to wilt and decay since the relationship began. She then reveals that she never wanted to be twisted up like this, and she feels that her body might get sick enough and quit. Despite this, she persists in resisting the urge to reminisce about better days before the relationship began.

The chorus of the song finds the singer declaring her opposition to the situation. She refuses to be played and acting like she is crazy. She refuses to tolerate her enemy's lies or beat her down further. She repeats, "You wanna defeat me, You're trying to play me, (Got me) acting like I'm crazy, But frankly, I don't want to be around this, I don't want to stand for your bullshit, no My enemy, I keep fighting, but you keep killing me, you just."

In the third verse of the song, the singer expresses the extent of the damage her toxic partnership has caused. She reveals that her partner has taken all her bright sides, shattered her character as a woman, and made her bones breakable. While she concedes that she never imagined she would be in this situation, she declares that she will try to retain hope and find the strength to push forward. She concludes that even if her enemy wants her to decay, she will refuse to give up and just wither away.

Line by Line Meaning

You keep my feet high above my head
You have power over me; I am vulnerable and at your mercy.

And my spine is tucked between my knees
I am curled up and small, physically and emotionally.

I thought I would only know decay when I was dead
I never expected to feel so worn down and broken. I thought decay was reserved for corpses.

You make wilting something of ease
You have made it simple for me to lose strength and give up on myself.

I never wanted to be twisted up like this
This is not the life I envisioned for myself.

I think my body might get sick enough and quit
You are breaking me down to the point where my physical body may give in.

All the prey that you claim for the taking
You seek out and prey on vulnerable victims like myself.

You wanna defeat me
You have a desire to tear me down and make me give up.

You're trying to play me
You are manipulating me for your own gain.

(Got me) acting like I'm crazy
You are driving me to behave in irrational or unstable ways.

But frankly
To be honest

I don't want to be around this
I do not want to continue living like this.

I don't want to stand for your bullshit, no
I will not tolerate your deceitfulness or manipulations.

My energy isn't feeling you, you're not healing me you just
Your presence and actions are draining me rather than uplifting or helping me.

Turn my insides outside one by one
You are causing me intense emotional pain and distress.

Dim the bright side of my attitude
You are making it difficult for me to maintain a positive outlook.

Shatter any matter of the woman I'd become
You are destroying my self-confidence and sense of self-worth.

Take my breaking bones as gratitude
You seem to take pleasure in my pain and suffering.

My enemy, I keep fighting but you keep killing me, you just
You are my adversary, and I am doing my best to withstand your attacks, even though they continue to harm me.

You want to see my spirit dissipate
You are hoping to break my spirit and make me lose hope.

You want my body to disintegrate
You are causing my physical body to deteriorate.

But I refuse to just wither away
I am determined to not let your actions consume me and cause me to give up.

I won't succumb to this decay
I will not let myself be worn down and destroyed by the effects of your behavior.

Contributed by Leo W. Suggest a correction in the comments below.