Alone.
Yet so many voices unceasingly chatter.
I awake behind window bars in a room so white.
Cold like melting frost in this summers night.

There is nothing that can hold my weight.
Nothing to slip around my neck to end this misery.
Not even the dignity of suicide is given to me.

Why can't you all be fucking silent?

So I can think... the blinding light and the sterile smell comes over me.
Take this pill. Worship this god. Wear a smile. Lie to the world.
Everything is alright.
No, you can't leave (Not until our pockets are full).

Scars run so deep.
A ghost of me is all you will see.
The burns from a rope I never tied.
The scars on wrists I never cut: Made by the life I didn't want.

Healed by the life I would one day lead.
There is hope somewhere beneath all this death.
The final exhalation could be a newborn's first breath.
Somewhere in the final resting place of a rotten old tree: Amanitas are growing.

This is where I will be.
A place where scars are beautiful.
Where sanity and insanity meet.
That is where I will be.

Overall Meaning

Panopticon's song "Patient" speaks to the experiences of being trapped within institutionalized society, specifically within a mental institution. The first few lines of the song outline the singer's loneliness and the constant noise that surrounds them. As they awaken, they find themselves in a sterile, white room. There is nothing around them that could potentially end their pain, including suicide. They yearn for a moment of silence, to process their thoughts.

The lyrics then shift towards the pressure placed upon the singer to conform to societal norms, both in terms of religion and perception. They are given medication and told to worship a god, and expected to keep up the appearance of a smile. All the while, society profits from their stay at the institution.

The final lines of the song provide a sliver of hope for the singer. They reflect on the scars they've earned before stating that there is hope beneath the death that surrounds them. They yearn for a final breath that could be a rebirth of sorts. The singer feels most at home where sanity and insanity meet and where their scars are viewed as beautiful.

Overall, the lyrics of "Patient" reflect the experiences of those who have been trapped within mental institutions and the impact of societal pressure to conform.

Line by Line Meaning

Alone.
I am alone in my suffering and despair.

Yet so many voices unceasingly chatter.
Despite my solitude, the world around me is filled with noise and meaningless chatter.

I awake behind window bars in a room so white.
I am trapped in a sterile, white room surrounded by window bars.

Cold like melting frost in this summers night.
The emptiness I feel in this place is cold and unforgiving, like a frost melting on a summer night.

There is nothing that can hold my weight.
There is no support or safety net to catch me in my suffering.

Nothing to slip around my neck to end this misery.
I am so desperate to end my pain that I would consider anything, even suicide.

Not even the dignity of suicide is given to me.
I am denied even the dignity of being able to end my own life.

Why can't you all be fucking silent?
I am overwhelmed by the constant noise and distractions of the world around me; I wish for it all to stop.

So I can think... the blinding light and the sterile smell comes over me.
I long for solitude so that I may be able to think and reflect, but my surroundings are oppressively sterile and unwelcoming.

Take this pill. Worship this god. Wear a smile. Lie to the world.
I am fed empty platitudes and meaningless commands in a futile attempt to fix my pain.

Everything is alright.
Despite my protests, those around me insist that everything is fine and attempt to gaslight me.

No, you can't leave (Not until our pockets are full).
Those who are supposed to help me are more concerned with their own financial gain than with actually helping me to recover.

Scars run so deep.
My trauma and pain are not superficial; they have left a lasting impact on me.

A ghost of me is all you will see.
My suffering has fundamentally changed me, leaving behind only a pale shadow of who I was.

The burns from a rope I never tied.
My pain is not necessarily self-inflicted; it may have come from outside sources out of my control.

The scars on wrists I never cut: Made by the life I didn't want.
Even though I did not physically harm myself, the pain and suffering inflicted on me by the world around me has left deep emotional wounds.

Healed by the life I would one day lead.
Despite my pain, I hold onto the hope that someday I will be able to lead a fulfilling and happy life.

There is hope somewhere beneath all this death.
Even in the depths of my despair, I am able to hold onto the possibility of hope and healing.

The final exhalation could be a newborn's first breath.
Even though life can be painful and difficult, there is still a chance for new beginnings and new hope.

Somewhere in the final resting place of a rotten old tree: Amanitas are growing.
Even in places of death and decay, new life and growth can still occur.

This is where I will be.
I am resigned to my current situation and will stay in this place of pain and suffering.

A place where scars are beautiful.
Despite the pain and trauma they represent, my scars are a testament to my strength and resilience.

Where sanity and insanity meet.
In my struggle, I am on the thin line between sanity and madness.

That is where I will be.
Despite the pain and suffering, I have found a sense of peace and acceptance within myself.

Contributed by Nathaniel C. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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