I'm just something else he tried
A catalog of interests in a catalog of lives
I hid myself from him, I wouldn't say it was a lie
But hiding worked its way into the way we lived our lives

It was clear that he was troubled
He had trouble with his pride
But I could never tell if the fault was his or mine
So I drew myself away, I wouldn't say I left behind
A man who would never know the man he was inside

In a moment he was gone, I could see that he had died
By the quickening of blood and the fluttering of eyes
So I held him to my breast like all the better wives
Who furnish men with love and never leave their side

I'm just something else he tried
The salt that's left behind after tears have dried
And I suppose that I'll go on, after all it was my life
And all that I supposed I held has come to be untied

Overall Meaning

Erin McKeown's song "A Better Wife" is a raw and introspective account of a woman's relationship with a troubled man. The opening verse talks about the woman being just another thing the man tried, cataloging her interests as if he was flipping through a catalog of lives. The woman admits to hiding herself from him, not necessarily lying, but not showing her true self. However, this eventually became a pattern in their lives, a way of living that took over them.

The second verse delves deeper into the man's issues, revealing that he had trouble with his pride, which could come across as blurring the lines of who was at fault in their relationship. The woman eventually felt like she had to draw away, not necessarily leaving him behind but leaving behind the ideal partner that never truly existed. The song's most heartbreaking moment comes in the bridge, where the woman realizes too late that the man has died, holding him to her breast like a better wife. The final verse is a conclusion of sorts, reflecting on how the woman will continue to move forward despite the previously held beliefs (all that I supposed I held) coming undone.

In all, "A Better Wife" is a hauntingly beautiful song that explores themes of love, loss, and self-discovery. The song casts a critical eye on relationships and the ideal of the perfect partner, showing that sometimes, things just do not work out.

Line by Line Meaning

I'm just something else he tried
I was just another option for him to explore

A catalog of interests in a catalog of lives
He had many different passions and experiences in his lifetime

I hid myself from him, I wouldn't say it was a lie
I kept parts of myself hidden, but I didn't necessarily deceive him

But hiding worked its way into the way we lived our lives
Our relationship became defined by the things we didn't share with each other

It was clear that he was troubled
He had obvious issues that he struggled with

He had trouble with his pride
He had difficulty admitting when he was wrong or needed help

But I could never tell if the fault was his or mine
It was difficult to determine who was to blame for our problems

So I drew myself away, I wouldn't say I left behind
I distanced myself from him, but I didn't completely abandon him

A man who would never know the man he was inside
He was incapable of truly understanding himself

In a moment he was gone, I could see that he had died
He died suddenly and unexpectedly

By the quickening of blood and the fluttering of eyes
It was clear that he had experienced a medical emergency

So I held him to my breast like all the better wives
I cared for him in his final moments, like a devoted spouse

Who furnish men with love and never leave their side
I was committed to him, even in death

The salt that's left behind after tears have dried
I was the residue of his life, after all was said and done

And I suppose that I'll go on, after all it was my life
I will continue to live, despite the loss I have endured

And all that I supposed I held has come to be untied
Everything I thought was secure has become uncertain and unpredictable

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