I Can't Watch This
"Weird Al" Yankovic Lyrics


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I can't watch this. I can't watch this
I can't watch this. I can't watch this

My my my my TV makes me so bored
Makes me say oh my Lord
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
It sucks, and that's no lie
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
Lowers my IQ one notch
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

I told you homeboy...I can't watch this
Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know
I can't watch this
Poke out my eyes, man...I can't watch this
Yo, gimme that remote control...I can't watch this

Talkin' bout sick shows
There's America's Funniest Home Videos
I can't believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
Somebody's poor old mom
Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
Face first on a rake
I hear they got it on the seventeenth take
That's funny as a kick in the crotch
And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch

Yo, I told you...I can't watch this
Change the channel now, man...I can't watch this
Yo, pass the TV Guide over here, sucker...I can't watch this

Cosby show and Roseanne
Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
Judge Wopner, oh my
You gotta be Rainman to like this guy
Thirtysomething's all right
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
Can't stand Twin Peaks
Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks
Those Siskel and Ebert bums
Oughtta go home and just sit on their thumbs

That's word because you now...I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Break it down!

Here's how to order-money back guarantee-
Removes tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts-
They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm beautiful-
Could be dandruff-our prices are insaaaane!!!

Stop! Prime time!
I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes "woof woof woof" and waves
His fist in the air
Or those weird talk shows
About transsexual Nazi Eskimos
They're rude, and crude and vile
Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

Flip, flip, flip...yecch, I can't watch this
Look, man, I can't watch this
I can't take this torture no more, I can't
I can't watch this
Pay the bills, station break
Break it down!

Operators are standing by-cubic zirconium necklace-
You're soaking in it-and our fabulous swimsuit issue-
When you've got a headache this big-read the book-
this is your brain on drugs-I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

Stop! Cable time!
HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
I might like them more after my lobotomy
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A
It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna
Throw my set away

I can't watch this, I can't watch this
I can't watch this, yeah...I can't watch this
I told you...can't watch this




Too hip, can't watch this
Get me outta here...can't watch this

Overall Meaning

In "I Can't Watch This," Weird Al Yankovic bemoans the state of American television. He starts by asserting that watching TV is a boring and insipid experience, a sentiment that is shared by many in today's world. Yankovic names and shames several popular shows that he can't stand: The Cosby Show, Roseanne, Judge Wopner, Twin Peaks, and Thirtysomething. He also calls out sick shows such as America's Funniest Home Videos, where people get hurt or humiliated for the sake of entertainment. He concludes that he can't take the torture of having to watch through all the channels and shows that are nothing but junk, and that he's going to throw his TV set away.


The lyrics of "I Can't Watch This" serve as a commentary on the state of television in the 1990s, which was dominated by a lot of low-quality programming. Yankovic's use of exaggeration and humor sheds light on the absurdity of some of the shows that were on at the time, and his song remains relevant to this day, as people continue to complain about the proliferation of reality shows and other forms of trashy entertainment.


Line by Line Meaning

I can't watch this. I can't watch this
The repetition of this line emphasizes the singer's sentiment of not being able to stand watching what's on TV.


My my my my TV makes me so bored
The singer feels bored by what's shown on TV.


Makes me say oh my Lord
The singer uses this expression to convey how terrible the TV shows are.


What is this garbage here?
The artist views what's on TV as rubbish.


Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
The artist wants to avoid watching what's on TV.


It sucks, and that's no lie
The singer is not just overreacting when they say that the TV shows are terrible.


It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
The TV shows are incredibly boring and uninteresting.


Lowers my IQ one notch
The TV shows are so bad that it's like they're making the artist dumber.


And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch
The artist can't watch TV because of how awful it is.


There's America's Funniest Home Videos
The artist mentions this show to highlight how ridiculous some TV shows can be.


I can't believe my eyes
The singer can hardly believe that the videos shown on the show are real.


When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
The artist is shocked that such silly videos could even be considered for a prize.


Somebody's poor old mom
The singer uses this phrase to describe the subject of a video that was shown on the show.


Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
The singer describes a video where someone falls off a roof.


Face first on a rake
The person who fell off the roof lands face-first onto a rake.


I hear they got it on the seventeenth take
The artist believes the video was shot multiple times to get the desired effect.


That's funny as a kick in the crotch
The artist doesn't find the video funny at all.


And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch
The singer can't watch TV shows like this one because they're terrible.


Cosby show and Roseanne
The singer lists two TV shows that they don't like.


Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
The artist has had enough of these TV shows.


Judge Wopner, oh my
The artist is surprised that people watch this show.


You gotta be Rainman to like this guy
The artist thinks that only someone with special needs could like Judge Wapner.


Thirtysomething's all right
The singer likes this show.


If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
The artist acknowledges that this show may not be for everyone.


Can't stand Twin Peaks
The singer hates this show.


Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks
The singer dislikes the characters on the show so much that they wish they were dead.


Those Siskel and Ebert bums
The singer doesn't like these famous movie critics.


Oughtta go home and just sit on their thumbs
The artist doesn't think their movie reviews are meaningful.


Here's how to order-money back guarantee-
The artist recites various TV advertisements to further emphasize how terrible TV programming can be.


Removes tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts-
The singer doesn't understand how these two phrases can be used together to advertise a product.


They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm beautiful-
The singer uses these ad slogans to showcase how illogical they can be.


Could be dandruff-our prices are insaaaane!!!
The artist doesn't understand why an advertisement would pair these two things together.


Stop! Prime time!
The artist is calling for an end to prime time TV.


I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
The artist is so disgusted by what's shown on TV that they're going to be sick.


If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
The singer is tired of watching TV shows that feature pets doing silly things.


Or that guy with the real flat hair
The artist is likely referring to a TV personality they don't like.


That goes "woof woof woof" and waves
The singer is referring to a character on a TV show that they dislike.


His fist in the air
The character on the TV show raises their fist and the singer doesn't like it.


Or those weird talk shows
The singer dislikes talk shows that are strange or unusual.


About transsexual Nazi Eskimos
The artist is in disbelief that such a talk show actually exists.


They're rude, and crude and vile
The artist doesn't like these talk shows at all.


Just for a minute let's flip down the dial
The singer suggests changing channels for a while.


Stop! Cable time!
The singer calls for an end to cable TV.


HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
The artist lists some TV channels that they don't like.


I might like them more after my lobotomy
The artist uses this humorous statement to indicate that they will never enjoy watching these channels.


Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
The artist regrets spending money on cable TV.


I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk
The singer is disappointed that all of the channels they have access to are terrible.


Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A
The artist is fed up with TV shows that rely on violence or sex to be entertaining.


It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna
The singer uses these adjectives to describe how they feel about TV programming.


Throw my set away
The singer will get rid of their TV because they dislike what's on it so much.


I told you...can't watch this
The singer repeats this line to emphasize that they cannot watch TV shows.


Too hip, can't watch this
The artist is not impressed with what's currently popular on TV.


Get me outta here...can't watch this
The artist is fed up with everything that's on TV and wants to stop watching.




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC
Written by: ALONZO MILLER, RICK JAMES, STANLEY KIRK BURRELL, WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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