Jade
4cf Lyrics

No intervention couldn't keep us together
Despite our best efforts and other people's attempts to intervene, our relationship couldn't survive.

And you was spending way too many months trying to save it, but I know you know better
You spent a lot of time trying to save our relationship, but deep down, you knew it wasn't working.

'Cause I don't want to waste your time, but you won't find out
I don't want to string you along, but I haven't been honest about my feelings yet.

'Til I'm halfway gone and a plane ride down
I won't fully realize my feelings until I'm physically separated from you and our relationship.

Well I, love you now just like how I loved you then
I still love you, but my feelings have changed and we can't go back to how things were.

But I think that I know better, I don't think we should be friends at all
Despite my love for you, I don't think we can maintain a friendship knowing how our relationship ended.

And now you're up in arms and darling, I'm so terrified
You're upset about the end of our relationship and it scares me to see how much it's affecting you.

I cross my heart and hope to die, your needles in my eyes
I swear to tell the truth, but looking at your disappointed or upset face feels like needles in my eyes.

But really, am I wrong?
I question whether my decision to end our relationship is the right one.

Addicted to the thought of you, seeing that I was off, it really sobered me up
I'm addicted to thinking about you, but seeing how my actions affected you woke me up to the reality of our situation.

You're in love, but I'm so jaded
You still have feelings for me, but I'm emotionally worn out and don't feel the same way.

You're in love, but I'm not vacant
You're emotionally invested in our relationship, but I'm not completely checked out either.

I feel love and I can't take too much
When I do feel love, it's overwhelming and I can't handle too much of it.

Hope that one day you're sick at the thought of me
I hope that eventually you'll see me in a negative light, so that you can move on from our relationship.

'Cause I think I got a problem with honesty
I struggle with being honest, even with myself, and it's causing issues in my relationships.

Like when it's not with myself, I can't get over it
I have a hard time forgiving myself when I'm not honest, and it weighs on me heavily.

But you're so understanding, so you'll probably be fine
You're a very understanding person, so you'll likely be able to move on from our relationship with relative ease.

So I don't got nothing to worry about, I'm fine
I'm trying to convince myself that everything will be okay, but deep down, I know that's not necessarily true.

Except I'm out of my mind
I feel like I'm going crazy with all of the conflicting emotions and thoughts in my head.

Intermission, find myself running through the backstreets, you know I'll bleed for it
I take breaks from dealing with my emotions by running through the city streets, even though it's physically and emotionally draining.

North France to Orleans, or straight to Paris when I need it
I escape to different locations to avoid confronting my feelings, whether it's heading to Orleans or Paris.

Double back, it's for my health, you tell me what I need so I don't gotta plead for it
I try to take care of myself by revisiting my past and talking to trusted friends for guidance.

At the Exx', pour a liter for 'em
At the Exx' (a nightclub or party), I pour myself a liter of alcohol to temporarily numb my emotions.

Tripping, maybe gotta fight it off
I'm feeling overwhelmed and out of control, and I have to actively try to regain my composure.

Back cruising down the ends, think it's been like two summers since we last talked
I'm driving through familiar streets and realizing that it's been a long time since we've had any communication.

Living for the weekend, I just seen your friends, had me hit a moonwalk
I live for the weekends and end up running into your friends, which brings back memories and makes me feel like I'm going backwards.

I got tired of thinking that it wasn't dead between us, that's just fact talk
I used to hold on to the hope that our relationship wasn't completely dead, but now I have to face the reality that it is.

And my forté? I don't back talk, bae
I'm good at not talking about my feelings or discussing difficult topics, even with my significant other.

No strings in my back, God save me
I don't want to be held back by the emotional strings of a relationship, and I pray to God for strength.

Yeah, this my fucking confession
This song is my honest confession about my feelings and struggles in our relationship.

I felt like shit for many months, but that's the worst of regression
I've been feeling terrible for months, but I'm trying to move forward and not regress in my emotional progress.

And I feel the same, huh?
I wonder if you feel the same way as I do about our failed relationship.

I'm sure you're getting the message
I'm being as honest as I can in my song, and I hope you're understanding my perspective.

Just trying to make some number ones and keep some seats on they edges
I'm just trying to make successful music and keep my fans interested, even if my personal life is in shambles.

This ain't the best that you gon' get from me
I'm not at my best emotionally right now, so our failed relationship is not a reflection of my full potential.

I just hit up Kirin 'cause I know he got the works for me
I reach out to Kirin, possibly a drug dealer or accomplice, to provide me with harmful substances to escape my problems.

Won't let this be a first for me
I'm aware of my problematic behaviors and refuse to let the consequences of my actions be a first-time experience.

Well I
The repetition of this phrase at the end of the song implies a lack of closure and uncertainty about the future.