98 Mute was a punk band from Hermosa Beach, California. They were formed in… Read Full Bio ↴98 Mute was a punk band from Hermosa Beach, California. They were formed in 1993, and signed to Theologian Records in 1995. Their first, self-titled album was released in 1996, and the band was featured on several skate videos and compilations of Californian punk. More albums followed as 98 Mute signed to Epitaph Records before they broke up.

Justin Thirsk is brother to founding member of Pennywise, Jason Matthew Thirsk also a Epitaph Records Artist.

Painkiller
98 Mute Lyrics

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Insecurity, this time it's got the best of me
Apathy, this time I think it's killing me
Try to scream, but I can't make any noise
Try to breathe, but the breath has lost my voice
There has got to be a better way

Some way to get rid of this fucking pain
Is my future in a razor blade?

Sometimes suicide isn't so insane
Bad memories, so I drink to forget
But you see, all I lose is self respect

No control, no more goals and no more aim
Blackened soul, everyday it feels the same
Can't face the boredom that everyday brings
I'm feeling guilty for an uncommitted crime
Left dangling from a puppeteer's strings
My body's free but my mind is doing time

Suicide, everyday a soul is lost
Justified, I think I'll carry my own cross

Bedside note, sorry mother if you cry
But life's a joke, so I think today, I'll just lay down and die

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of 98 Mute's song Painkiller speak about the struggle of a person who is dealing with overwhelming insecurity and apathy which have taken over their life. The person feels silenced and unable to express themselves through screaming or even breathing. They are in so much pain that they consider suicide as an option for relief. Despite trying to forget their bad memories through drinking, they can't escape the guilt that comes along with their uncommitted crime. The person feels like they lack control, aim, and goals in life, and their soul feels blackened. They are stuck in a mundane routine and feel like they are doing time. The lyrics end with the person contemplating their own death as life seems like a joke.

The song's lyrics are a commentary on the struggles of young people dealing with the pressures of life, such as mental illness, addiction, and social expectations. The lyrics provide a bleak outlook on life, as the person is grappling with deep-seated emotional pain and hopelessness. The song's message resonated with many people dealing with depression and other mental health issues, making it a popular song within the punk and alternative rock community.

Line by Line Meaning

Insecurity, this time it's got the best of me
My lack of confidence in myself is becoming all-consuming

Apathy, this time I think it's killing me
I feel a deep sense of disinterest and detachment from life that is slowly killing me

Try to scream, but I can't make any noise
Despite my overwhelming emotional pain, I'm unable to express it outwardly

Try to breathe, but the breath has lost my voice
The emotional weight I carry is becoming suffocating and it's making it difficult to speak or breathe

There has got to be a better way
I'm desperately searching for a way out of my current situation and emotional pain

Some way to get rid of this fucking pain
Anything that can help alleviate the immense emotional pain I'm feeling would be a welcome relief

Is my future in a razor blade?
I'm considering self-harm and suicide as an escape from my pain

Sometimes suicide isn't so insane
The idea of ending my life starts to seem like a rational way to escape my pain

Bad memories, so I drink to forget
I'm using alcohol as a coping mechanism to help suppress and forget about the painful memories causing me so much distress

But you see, all I lose is self respect
Despite my attempts to numb the pain, the alcohol only compounds the problem, leaving me feeling ashamed and powerless

No control, no more goals and no more aim
I feel directionless and helpless, with no clear purpose or goals to strive for

Blackened soul, everyday it feels the same
My emotional state is becoming more and more negative every day, and I feel trapped within myself

Can't face the boredom that everyday brings
The mundane aspects of day-to-day life are becoming unbearable and I can't cope with the monotony

I'm feeling guilty for an uncommitted crime
I'm consumed with guilt despite not having done anything wrong, and the weight of it is burdening me

Left dangling from a puppeteer's strings
I feel like I have no agency or control over my own life, and that external forces are manipulating me

My body's free but my mind is doing time
Although I may appear to be functioning normally on the outside, I feel trapped and imprisoned by my own thoughts and emotions

Suicide, everyday a soul is lost
I'm aware of the prevalence of suicide and how it affects people everywhere, not just myself

Justified, I think I'll carry my own cross
I'm starting to believe that the pain and suffering I'm experiencing is deserved and that my only option is to bear it alone

Bedside note, sorry mother if you cry
I leave a note behind apologizing to my mother in advance for any pain I may inflict by taking my own life

But life's a joke, so I think today, I'll just lay down and die
I'm convinced that life has no inherent value or meaning, and that death is a welcome escape from my current situation

Lyrics © RESERVOIR MEDIA MANAGEMENT INC
Written by: Pat Ivie, Jason Page, Doug Weems, Justin Thirsk

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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