If I Wanna
A.G. Lyrics

Somethin's in my head it's been fuckin with my mind
There is a persistent and troubling thought occupying my mind.

All these fuckin pills have got me feelin dead inside
The excessive use of drugs has left me feeling emotionally empty.

I can't go to sleep I've been stayin up all night
I have been suffering from insomnia, unable to find rest.

I won't let it stop me from livin my life
Despite these challenges, I refuse to let it hinder my pursuit of a fulfilling life.

That shit knocked me down, but I'ma get back up again
Although I have been defeated, I am determined to rise and overcome.

After every single round, I still hold up my chin
Even after enduring numerous hardships, I maintain my dignity and resilience.

I've been smokin on that loud, I'm running out of breath
My excessive marijuana usage has left me gasping for air.

All the pain I held inside I had to get it off my chest
I needed to express and release the emotional burden that I have been carrying.

Taught me patience is a blessing
This experience has revealed to me the value of patience.

Cuz this shit had me tested
The difficulties I faced put my strength and resilience to the test.

Man this shit had me tempted
These challenges tempted me to give in and succumb to them.

Feelin numb for a minute
There were moments where I felt emotionally detached and unresponsive.

To feel nothing for a second
I craved the temporary relief of feeling nothing at all.

Just to take off all the pressure
To alleviate the immense pressure weighing on me.

I was standin face to face with my own fuckin devil
I confronted my personal demons and faced my own internal struggles.

Told em I don't give a fuck if I die, I die
I conveyed to others that I am fearless about the prospect of death.

I'm more afraid of not livin my life
However, my greatest fear lies in not fully experiencing and embracing life.

I feel like I am married to this bitch for fuckin real
I feel deeply trapped and attached to this difficult situation.

I can't believe I'm stuck with this shit for fuckin real
The reality of being in this unfavorable circumstance is overwhelming.

Reality check hit me in the motha fuckin feels
I received a harsh awakening that deeply affected my emotions.

I'm tired of this shit, I didn't wanna sign this fuckin deal
I am exhausted from dealing with this situation that I never wanted to be a part of.

A contract signed with blood, sweat and tears
I committed to a binding agreement with immense sacrifice and effort.

Took control of my fears
I actively confronted and overcame my fears.

All the smoke starts to clear
As the dust settles, clarity begins to emerge.

Got some ringin in my ears
I am left with a persistent ringing sound in my ears.

They're standin in the back
There are individuals lurking in the shadows.

But I won't let em get near me
I am determined to keep those individuals away from me.

Lettin me live, but I think they wanna kill me
Although they allow me to continue existing, I suspect their intentions are malevolent.

It's cheaper to keep her, so let me get the bill please
Maintaining the current situation is more cost-effective, so please present the bill for the expenses.

One for the homies and one for the OG's
I will raise a glass to the friends and influential figures in my life.

I'ma stay in my lane and travel at my own speed
I will remain focused on my own path and progress at my own pace.

You can go and do you and I'ma do me
You are free to pursue your own path while I prioritize my own journey.

I told em I don't give a fuck if I die, I die
I reiterated my lack of fear towards death to those around me.

Cuz I'm more afraid of not livin my life
Ultimately, I am more frightened by the idea of not fully experiencing life.