Cereal Wars
AFI Lyrics


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Get up early in the morning, going to the store
Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war
Fuckin' store never has the monsters and they never get more
Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war

I hope sexual chocolate is in stock
It's got a condom in the box
I'll try some cocoa puffs today
What the fuck is Sonny anyway?

Some say Dino's are the best
They've got more marshmallows than the rest
There's not a lot of cocoa in cocoa crispies
And always stay away from wheaties

Now it's dinner time and I am going back to the store
I had some Erkles, liked 'em a lot, it's the cereal war
I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes and then I could try sugar bombs
The soggies will never get CapnCrunch

I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch
Breakfast cereals need to be sweet, that's the only kind I'll eat




Give me sugar not nuts and twigs
Do I look like a fuckin' squirrel to you?

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to AFI's song Cereal Wars is a commentary on the commercialization of breakfast cereals, and the cultural significance we attach to these sugary treats. The lyrics are from the perspective of someone who is entrenched in the daily ritual of going to the store to buy breakfast cereal, and the importance that they put on the types of cereal that they eat. The song is a humorous take on this seemingly trivial activity, but it also highlights the absurdity of the cultural significance that we place on something as simple as breakfast cereals.


The chorus "Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war" is a humorous take on the fierce competition between these cereal brands, and how people have strong preferences for one over the other. The verses mention specific kinds of cereal, and the importance that they hold for the singer. Sexual chocolate, for example, is a cereal that apparently comes with a condom in the box, which highlights the ridiculousness of how cereals were marketed towards children. The song also touches on the different types of cereal - with some being more healthy and others being sugar-laden, and how people have strong opinions about what kind of cereal they prefer.


Overall, AFI's Cereal Wars is an amusing social commentary on the cultural significance we place on something as simple as breakfast cereals. It highlights the absurdity of how cereals were marketed towards children, the strong competition between cereal brands, and how people have strong opinions about what kind of cereal they prefer.


Line by Line Meaning

Get up early in the morning, going to the store
Starting the day by heading to the supermarket


Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war
Referring to the intense competition between major cereal brands


Fuckin' store never has the monsters and they never get more
The store doesn't stock certain cereal brands and doesn't replenish them often


I hope sexual chocolate is in stock
Hoping to find a specific cereal brand called Sexual Chocolate


It's got a condom in the box
A humorous reference to the fact that the cereal box comes with a toy or prize


I'll try some cocoa puffs today
Planning to try Cocoa Puffs cereal


What the fuck is Sonny anyway?
Questioning the identity of a character associated with a cereal brand


Some say Dino's are the best
Referring to a specific cereal brand called Dino's and the fact that some believe it's the best


They've got more marshmallows than the rest
Highlighting one of the features that makes Dino's cereal stand out


There's not a lot of cocoa in cocoa crispies
Pointing out a discrepancy between a cereal's name and its actual ingredients


And always stay away from wheaties
Expressing dislike for a cereal brand called Wheaties


Now it's dinner time and I am going back to the store
Heading back to the store later in the day


I had some Erkles, liked 'em a lot, it's the cereal war
Trying a new cereal brand called Erkles and enjoying it


I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes and then I could try sugar bombs
Expressing a desire to try a fictional cereal brand called Sugar Bombs, referenced in a comic strip


The soggies will never get CapnCrunch
Referring to a commercial mascot and asserting that soggy cereal won't get it


I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch
Choosing to have a specific cereal brand called Crunch Berries for lunch


Breakfast cereals need to be sweet, that's the only kind I'll eat
Preferring sweet cereal brands over others


Give me sugar not nuts and twigs
Rejecting healthy cereals that feature nuts and grains as ingredients


Do I look like a fuckin' squirrel to you?
Asserting that one doesn't eat nuts and twigs like a squirrel would




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS

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