If I Start to Cry
Aaron Davis Lyrics

I've got a pretty little house that
I have a nice house that I can call my own.

I can call my home
It is a place where I feel comfortable and safe.

I've got a lot of really close friends
I have many friends who are very close to me.

A new man, I'm not alone
I have found a new romantic partner who keeps me company.

And it's so good to be so loved
It feels nice to be loved and appreciated by others.

It's so nice
It is a wonderful feeling to have people around who care for me.

Then why is it not enough
However, I still feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

Sometimes
At times, I feel like something is missing in my life.

Like if I start to cry
I fear that if I start crying, I won't be able to stop.

I might never stop
My emotions might overwhelm me and I won't be able to control them.

I could drown the world
My sadness might become all-consuming and affect everything around me.

Yeah and lose it all
I might lose everything that I have worked hard for.

And if I let you in
If I open up to someone about my feelings,

I might disappear
I fear that I will lose myself and my identity in the process.

If I start to cry
If I begin to cry,

Get me out of here
I want to be removed from the situation, so I don't have to face my emotions.

Here I go again, I'm like some loser
I feel like a failure and a loser because I can't seem to be happy despite what I have.

On a TV talk show
I feel like I am airing out my dirty laundry for everyone to see.

Everybody feels sorry
People begin to pity me for not being able to be happy.

For the girl, the lost soul
They see me as someone who is lost and doesn't have any direction.

And it's a damn shame
It is unfortunate that I can't seem to be satisfied with what I have.

I tell myself
I try to convince myself

Appreciate what you have
To value what I already have and not focus on what I lack.

Or lock it up deep inside
To bury my emotions deep inside so I don't have to deal with them.

The saddest thing about this is
What is the most heartbreaking part about this is

I don't even know what's really wrong
I don't understand what is causing me to feel this way.

And the funniest thing about this
What is ironic about this is

Is I'm not even sure what I want
I don't even know what I am looking for to feel complete.