Apotheosis
Akeldama Lyrics

I fall fast like nightingales in winter's cold sharp grasp
I am descending rapidly, just like how nightingales cannot survive in the harshness of winter.

The ground approaches faster with every struggle to lift your wings to fly again
Attempting to fly only results in exhaustion, bringing one closer and closer to their inevitable demise.

But with every attempt comes failure
Every effort to succeed is ultimately futile.

It natural
This cycle of failure is an inherent part of existence.

I can't pretend to think that all this effort will pay off anymore
I am incapable of deluding myself into believing that my efforts will lead to success.

I'm content with losing as long as this all finally just goes away
I find solace in accepting failure, as long as the resulting pain and suffering come to an end.

I've lost her
I have lost someone dear to me.

I stripped her life away with my own hands
I am responsible for taking away her life, and thus, her future.

I watched my world slip through the cracks
I bore witness to my own world crumbling around me, without the power to prevent it.

Alone, and I'm
I am left with only myself and my own thoughts to confront.

Feeling conscious for the very first time
My newfound self-awareness is overwhelming and all-encompassing.

Now I'll pave the way into this corrupted mind
I am delving deeper into my own corrupted thoughts and feelings.

I'm going farther than I've ever tried
I am pushing myself beyond any previous limits or boundaries.

Now I've found a way to end this precious life
I have discovered a means to put an end to my own existence.

My heart is just a pulse away from bursting out through my chest
My heart is beating so hard and fast that it feels as if it may explode from within.

Cold fear shoots through my veins like shock waves
Intense fear courses through me, similar to the shockwaves from an explosion.

My god this can't be happening
I am in disbelief and denial of the reality unfolding before me.

And now its too late
I have passed the point of no return.

I can't stop this anymore
There is nothing left for me to do to prevent this from happening.

Regret, regret, regret, regret!
I am consumed by the overwhelming feeling of regret for what I have done.

"How the hell did I end up here?
I am questioning how I arrived at this point in my life.

I can't recall this place at all
I have no memory of this place or how I got here.

Is this my imagination?
I am uncertain if what is happening is real or a figment of my imagination.

Or was that my dying breath?"
I am left wondering if I have already taken my last breath.

I'm lost here
I am disoriented and directionless, with no clear path ahead.

I'll take my life away of my own free will
I will end my own life on my own terms, without the influence of others.

It has become so clear, as I'm
My decision to end my life has become increasingly clear and justified in my mind.