Poor Unfortunate Souls
Alan Menken Lyrics

The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself
To achieve your heart's desire, you'll need to transform into a human.

Can you do that?
Are you capable of such a transformation?

My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for
Helping merfolk become human is my life's work and purpose.

To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself
I assist mermaids and mermen in distress, such as yourself.

Poor souls with no one else to turn to
Those without any other options come to me for aid.

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
I acknowledge that I was unpleasant and cruel in the past.

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
The title of witch that others gave me was justified.

But you'll find that nowadays
However, you'll see that now

I've mended all my ways
I have reformed my actions.

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
I have acknowledged my wrongdoings, had a change of heart, and am now different.

And I fortunately know a little magic
Thankfully, I possess some magical abilities.

It's a talent that I always have possessed
It's a skill that I have possessed for as long as I can recall.

And dear lady, please don't laugh
And my dear, I implore you not to laugh.

I use it on behalf
I use it to assist

Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Those who are unhappy, alone, and downtrodden (often referred to as pathetic).

Poor unfortunate souls
These are the pitiable souls that I aid.

In pain, in need
These individuals are suffering and require assistance.

This one longing to be thinner
This person wishes to be slimmer.

That one wants to get the girl
That person desires to win the affection of someone else.

And do I help them?
And do I indeed provide them assistance?

Yes, indeed
Certainly, I do.

So sad, so true
It is unfortunate, yet undoubtedly factual.

They come flocking to my cauldron
They arrive at my cauldron in large sums.

Crying, 'Spells, Ursula, please!'
Crying out, 'Ursula, please grant us magic spells!'

Now it's happened once or twice
On one or two occasions in the past,

Someone couldn't pay the price
An individual was unable to pay the cost.

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
And regrettably, I had to be firm with them and scold them.

Yes I've had the odd complaint
It's true, I've received the rare negative feedback.

But on the whole I've been a saint
Overall, however, I have been quite benevolent.

Have we got a deal?
Are we in agreement?

If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again.
If I cease being a mermaid and become human, I will be estranged from my father and siblings.

But you'll have your man, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Heh heh
But you'll have your love interest, haha. Life contains numerous difficult decisions, would you not say? Haha.

Oh, and there is one more thing
Oh, and I have one more requirement.

We haven't discussed the subject of payment
We have yet to talk about the form of compensation.

But I don't have
But I lack

I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle
I'm not making a significant request, only a small request.

What I want from you is, your voice
All that I seek from you is your voice.

But without my voice, how can I
But in the absence of my voice, how will I

You'll have your looks, your pretty face.
Don't fret, you'll maintain your attractive appearance.

And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha
And do not undervalue the significance of nonverbal communication, haha.

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
The individuals on land dislike excessive chatter.

They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
They believe that a female who gossips is boring!

Yet on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
However, on land, it's deemed superior if a woman refrains from speaking.

And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
In any case, my dear, what purpose serves aimless chatter?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
Come on, conversation does not impress them that much.

True gentlemen avoid it when they can
Genuine gentlemen steer clear of excessive conversation when possible.

But they dote and swoon and fawn
However, they adore and are infatuated with

On a lady who's withdrawn
A woman who retains her composure and reserves her speech

It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man
She who speaks less will gain a man's affections.

Come on you poor unfortunate soul
Come now, you pitiable individual,

Go ahead!
Move forward!

Make your choice
Make your decision.

I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
I'm a very preoccupied woman, and I don't have much time.

It won't cost much
It will be affordable.

Just your voice
Only your voice.

It's sad but true
It's regrettable but factual.

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
If you desire to traverse the gulf that separates us, my dear,

You've got the pay the toll
You must provide the price of the journey.

Take a gulp and take a breath
Take a deep breath and collect yourself.

And go ahead and sign the scroll
And go forward and sign the contract.

Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
Flotsam, Jetsam, I've attained her, boys.

The boss is on a roll
The boss's scheme/plan is proceeding without complications.

Beluga sevruga
The beluga and sevruga caviar

Come winds of the Caspian Sea
May the Caspian Sea's winds come forth.

Larengix glaucitis
Larinx and glaucitis

Et max laryngitis
And maximum laryngitis.

La voce to me
Send me that voice.

Now, sing
Now, perform!

Aah
A noticeable exclamation of sound.

Keep singing
Continue singing.