Rake
Alela Diane featuring Alina Hardin Lyrics

Well, I used to wake and run with the moon,
I used to live my life freely and without a care.

Lived like a rake and a young man.
I lived my life without regard for consequences or responsibility, like a rake does.

Covered my lovers with flowers and wounds
I loved recklessly and passionately, both spiritually and physically.

And after the devil would frighten.
But even after the pleasure, guilt and fear would take hold of me.

The Sun, she would come, and beat me back down,
Every new day felt like a punishment or reminder of my mistakes.

Every cruel day had its nightfall.
But even in the darkness, I found solace, especially through music.

Welcomed the stars with wine and guitars,
I found joy in simple pleasures, such as sharing wine and music with others.

Full of fire and forgetful.
But even with this joy, I struggled with memory and the weight of my past.

My body was sharp and the dark air clean,
I was full of vigor and youthful vitality, and I savored the darkness of night.

Outraged my joyful companion.
This lifestyle was too much for those around me to handle.

And whispering women how sweet they did seem,
I was adored by women, who were eager to please me.

Kneeling for me to command them.
But this adoration also came with a power dynamic that was problematic.

Time was like water, and I was the sea,
I felt invincible, and time seemed to have no effect on me.

I wouldn't have noticed its passing,
I was so consumed with my own world, I lost sight of time and reality.

Except for the turning of night into day,
The only way I kept track of time was through the cycle of night and day.

And the turning of day into cursing.
But even in the light of day, I was haunted by my actions.

You look at me now, and don't think I don't know
I'm aware of how people perceive me now, after all this time.

What all your eyes are saying.
I can feel the judgment and skepticism.

Does he want us to believe these ravings and lies
People question whether I'm telling the truth, or if I'm just trying to spin a story.

Are just tricks that his brain's been playing?
They wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me.

Lover of women, he can't hardly stand,
Now, I struggle to connect with others, especially women.

He trembles, is bent, and is broken.
My life of excess has taken a physical and emotional toll on me.

I've fallen, it's true, but I say to you,
I recognize my mistakes, but I want the chance to speak my truth.

Hold your tongues until after I've spoken.
I ask for patience and understanding.

I was takin' my pride and my pleasure, I know,
I indulged in my own desires, without regard for consequences.

Laughed and said I'd be forgiven.
I was cavalier about the harm I caused, and assumed I'd be forgiven.

My laughter turned round, I was blazin' and sinnin'
But instead, my actions led me down a dark path, full of sin and destruction.

My friend we're holding a wedding.
Despite my own struggles, life moves on, and others are celebrating.

I buried my face, but it spoke once again:
I tried to hide from my past, but it continued to haunt me.

Night to the day we are bindin'.
I feel trapped in my own cycle of regret and pain.

Now the dark air is like fire on my skin,
Even the comfort I once found in darkness now feels like a source of pain.

Even the moonlight is blindin'.
I'm struggling to find my way forward, even in the light.