When Instant Star wrapped after four seasons (2005-2008), Alexz endured her share of off-camera drama in her music career, when both Capitol and Epic, respectively, ended up shelving her records due to internal conflicts . "It’s been tough,” she says, “but something always keeps me going. Even with no money in my pocket, things land where they land and you keep moving.” Johnson had completed a full length record entitled Weight in 2008, and was set to release it in September the next year.
Alexz independently released her debut album, Voodoo in 2010 and remixed it in 2011 as Reloaded. She released a compilation of unheard demos in the form of The Basement Recordings (2011), while prepping to release her first EP, Skipping Stone in January 2012. She has also released one live album, Live from the Skipping Stone Tour in December 2012. Johnson later continued to release two more demo compilations, The Basement Recordings 2 and The Basement Recordings 3 in 2012 and 2013, respectively.
Finding success and a loyal fanbase through her independent releases, Johnson's 2014 EP, Heart and sophomore album Let 'Em Eat Cake were both funded through the crowdfunding service Pledgemusic. Heart and Let 'Em Eat Cake both showcase a different side of Johnson, tackling subjects such as heartbreak and loss. The two releases include tracks produced by David Kahne, who has worked with Lana Del Rey, Kelly Clarkson, Regina Spektor, and other artists.
Who Am I Fooling
Alexz Johnson Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
My words seem so hollow
I feel like a fraud
And that's a bitter pill to swallow
Sometimes it hits me right between the eyes
Everyone can see through my disguise
I'm just a smiling face
In a make-believe world
Who am I fooling
I'm just a wannabe
So easy to replace
Pretending I'm a perfect girl
All alone in the mirror
All alone on the shelf
I'm trying to hold on
To a little piece of myself
Doesn't anybody realize
Even I don't buy my own disguise
Who am I fooling
I'm just a smiling face
In a make-believe world
Who am I fooling
I'm just a wannabe
So easy to replace
Pretending I'm a perfect girl
There's a part of me that's fighting back
There's a part of me that knows
When I'm pouring out my heart
I'm still putting on a show
Who am I fooling
In a make-believe world
Who am I fooling
So easy to replace
Pretending I'm a perfect girl
Who am I fooling
I'm just a smiling face
In a make-believe world
Who am I fooling
I'm just a wannabe
So easy to replace
Pretending I'm a perfect girl
Who am I fooling
I'm just a smiling face
In a make-believe world
Who am I fooling
I'm just a wannabe
So easy to replace
Pretending I'm a perfect girl
Pretending I'm a perfect girl
In "Who Am I Fooling," Alexz Johnson sings about feeling like a fraud and struggling to maintain a façade of perfection. She describes feeling like her skin doesn't "fit" and her words sound hollow because she is not being her true self. She acknowledges that she is just a "smiling face" in a make-believe world, pretending to be a "perfect girl."
The lyrics suggest that Johnson is aware of the gap between her public persona and her true self. She acknowledges that she is putting on a show and that even she doesn't buy her own disguise. She is asking a rhetorical question: Who is she fooling? The answer, of course, is that she is fooling herself and the people around her. Her internal struggle between the desire to be authentic and the pressure to maintain a façade is evident throughout the song.
Overall, "Who Am I Fooling" is a poignant and relatable reflection on the difficulty of being true to oneself in a world that often demands perfection and conformity. The lyrics encourage listeners to ask themselves the same question: Who are they fooling? Are they being true to themselves, or are they pretending to be someone they're not?
Line by Line Meaning
My skin doesn't fit
I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
My words seem so hollow
I feel like my words have no real substance or meaning.
I feel like a fraud
I feel like I am not being true to myself or others.
And that's a bitter pill to swallow
It is hard to accept this truth about myself.
Sometimes it hits me right between the eyes
I suddenly become aware of my true feelings.
Everyone can see through my disguise
Others can tell that I am not being sincere.
Who am I fooling
I am not fooling anyone.
I'm just a smiling face
I often put on a fake smile to hide my true feelings.
In a make-believe world
I am living in a world that is not real.
I'm just a wannabe
I am not actually what I am trying to be.
So easy to replace
I am not unique or special in any way.
Pretending I'm a perfect girl
I am trying to be someone that I am not.
All alone in the mirror
I am the only one who truly knows who I am.
All alone on the shelf
I feel like no one really understands me.
I'm trying to hold on
I am struggling to maintain my true self.
To a little piece of myself
To maintain my true identity.
Doesn't anybody realize
I wish others would understand the real me.
Even I don't buy my own disguise
I am even starting to see through my own façade.
There's a part of me that's fighting back
My true self is trying to break free.
There's a part of me that knows
I am starting to understand my true feelings.
When I'm pouring out my heart
When I am expressing my true emotions.
I'm still putting on a show
I am still hiding my true self from others.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@12times21
Reminds me of when a simple afternoon was watching Instant Star, Ogrady, RFR, and Daria... the good old days
@BlahBlahWoofWoof12
2020 & this is still a great song & she's still a great artist
@sammynoodlere
awesome song
@martinahabjanic4044
#2018 i need an instant star reunion
@CBWithNicole
Best damn song ever... 2018... loving still. Bring back Instant Star!
@ilo1848
kocham cie alexz!!! <333 ;d
@KOOLTHIIING
#2017 still rocking
@jojo32.27
2019 need an instant star reboot
@Vasilopoulaa
#2016