You Can Call Me Al
Alicia Witt Lyrics

A man walks down the street
A male individual is making his way along a paved path

He says why am i soft in the middle now
He wonders why his torso is less toned than it used to be

Why am I soft in the middle the rest of my life is so hard
He questions why his midsection has become flabby despite the struggles he faces in other aspects of his life

I need a photo-opportunity I want a shot at redemption
He desires a chance to improve his reputation by having his picture taken and seen by others

Don't want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard
He hopes to avoid becoming a caricature or joke-like figure with little substance or value

Bonedigger bonedigger dogs in the moonlight
He sees or hears dogs scavenging in the dark

Far away from my well-lit door
He is glad the dogs are not close to his home

Mr. beerbelly beerbelly get these mutts away from me
He calls out to someone with a visible belly to remove the stray dogs from his vicinity

You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
He expresses his dissatisfaction or annoyance with the situation he is in

If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal
He proposes a partnership where one person provides protection and the other provides companionship

I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al
He suggests they use shorter names to address each other more informally

Man walks down the street
He continues his journey

He says why am I short of attention
He questions why he is lacking in focus or mental engagement

Got a short little span of attention
He acknowledges his inability to concentrate for long periods of time

And oh my nights are so long
He bemoans the length of his nights

Where's my wife and family what if I die here
He worries about his loved ones and what would happen if he were to pass away in his current situation

Who'll be my role-model now that my role-model is gone, gone
He mourns the loss of his previous source of inspiration and wonders who will replace them

He ducked back down the alley with some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
He retreats down a narrow path with a plump, peculiar-looking female

All along, long there were incidents and accidents, there were hints and allegations
He reflects on a series of past events and occurrences that involved suggestive or questionable actions

If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal
He reiterates his offer of safeguarding and companionship

I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al
He reiterates his suggestion of using shorter names to address each other more informally

Man walks down the street
He continues his journey

It's a street in a strange world
He notes that he is in an unfamiliar or foreign location

Maybe it's the third world, maybe it's his first time around
He speculates that he could be in an underdeveloped country or experiencing a completely new environment

He doesn't speak the language, he holds no currency
He struggles to communicate and lacks the necessary funds to navigate his surroundings

He is a foreign man, he is surrounded by the sound, sound
He is an outsider who is enveloped by unfamiliar noises or sensations

Cattle in the marketplace, scatterlings and orphanages
He observes farm animals being sold and children without parents or homes

He looks around, around he sees angels in the architecture, spinning in infinity, he says hey-hallelujah
Despite the apparent chaos, he finds beauty or transcendence in the intricate surroundings around him and celebrates it

If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal
He maintains his proposal of partnership

I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al
He repeats his suggestion for shorter names and more informal addressing

You can call me -
He leaves the final word unsaid, perhaps as an invitation for the other individual to address him however they please