Emmanuel
Ameer Vann Lyrics

It's so hard to say, "I'm sorry"
Apologizing is difficult because it requires admitting fault and taking responsibility for one's actions.

It's so hard to self reflect
Looking inward to examine and acknowledge one's flaws and shortcomings is a challenging and uncomfortable process.

Make the world a better place, I put a bullet in my head
The singer is struggling with the idea of suicide as a means of ending his own pain and improving the world by removing himself from it.

I'm still running outta friends, steady running from the past
The artist feels isolated and alone, and is trying to escape the painful memories and experiences of his past.

Ain't no lil' piece of heaven, all these demons that I have
The artist has internal struggles and personal demons that make it difficult for him to find peace or happiness.

I am broken, I am tired, I am lonely and depressed
The singer is experiencing a range of negative emotions and feels worn down by the stress and challenges of his life.

I am made up of mistakes, I'll start going down the list
The singer recognizes that he has made many errors in his life and is prepared to confront them in order to move forward and improve himself.

I'm a product of my father, I'm an addict like my sister
The artist feels that his addictive tendencies and other issues are at least partially inherited from his family members.

I'm so sick, I need a doctor
The artist recognizes that he needs professional help to address his mental and emotional health issues.

Spent some time in institutions back at home with my mama
The artist has been hospitalized or institutionalized in the past in order to receive care for his mental health issues.

Had to run away to Houston
The singer felt that he needed to escape his previous environment in order to have a chance at improving his life.

Had a girl, she was a goddess, I fucked up and had to lose her
The artist had a wonderful relationship with a woman, but his problems and mistakes caused it to end.

I see darkness all around me, put my soul into the music
The singer turns to music as a way to cope with the negative feelings and experiences of his life.

I am always fucking doubting my every single movement
The singer is consumed with self-doubt and second-guesses every decision he makes.

I saw violence in my home, I seen shit I can't forget
The singer witnessed or experienced traumatic events in his past that still haunt him.

I got anxieties and tendencies and memories repressed
The artist experiences anxiety and has a tendency to avoid confronting difficult memories or feelings.

Rip this shit up off my chest, put these bullets in a clip Press the muzzle to my face and pull the trigger, now I'm
The artist is contemplating suicide as a way to escape his problems and pain.

It's so hard to end it all, I wanna try to make it right
The idea of suicide is difficult because the singer still feels a desire to improve his life.

It's so hard to live at all, all these obstacles in life Make it hard for us all, made a fuck-up of my life
The singer feels that life is challenging and filled with obstacles, and regrets the mistakes he has made that contribute to his problems.

I'll give anything at all to take back a little time
The artist wishes he could go back and change the course of his life to avoid the pain and difficulties he is experiencing now.

I'm a beast, I'm a dawg, I'm a runaway slave
The artist feels like he is trapped, wild, and subjugated by his own demons or circumstances.

I'm like Malcolm, I'm like Martin bein' locked in a cage
The artist compares himself to iconic civil rights figures who also experienced confinement and struggle.

Tell Jesus, "Come and save me, I got goals and a pager"
The singer appeals to a higher power for help and guidance, and expresses a desire to achieve success and stability.

Misdemeanors on the papers, El Dorado's on the dayton
The artist has legal troubles and a car that is emblematic of success or luxury.

See me float above the pavement I'm a fuckin' mental patient, that's my fuckin' mission statement
The singer feels like he is detached or disconnected from the world, and has made it his mission to confront his mental health issues.

I've been sittin', waitin' patient I can hear what niggas sayin'
The singer is waiting for changes or progress in his life, and is aware of gossip or commentary about him from others.

Send me curses, see me prayin' I can sell a blunt to Satan, all these trenches that I lay in
The singer is a conflicted figure who engages in illegal or immoral activity but also seeks redemption and salvation.

All this chaos that I stay in See my fate and know it's waitin'
The artist feels trapped in a life of turmoil and is aware that his fate is uncertain and potentially dark.

This a new beginning, call me Jesus, king of niggas My sermon is delivered, rollin' swishers, writin' scriptures
The artist sees himself as a figure of rebirth and reinvention, and expresses a desire to use his music as a form of cathartic release and expression.

Many pains and many issues, this my written crucifixion I'ma sing a song of David
The singer's music represents his struggles and pain, and he believes that creative expression is a form of spiritual release and power.

I remember Wayne and Baby I done seen them niggas leakin', screamin', "Jesus, come and save me"
The singer has seen other prominent figures in the music industry struggle and experience pain or death.

I don't know if I'ma make it, I just know that life ain't easy Gettin' harder while I'm breathin'
The artist is uncertain about his own future and feels that life is only becoming more difficult over time.

Niggas die inside of Beamers, they don't even need a reason Guns clappin', get to squeezin' Niggas killin', it ain't easy
The artist is aware of the senseless violence that plagues many communities, and acknowledges that killing and dying are tragically normalized parts of some people's lives.

Rent due and it ain't easy Call his name but he ain't breathin' Momma cryin', it ain't easy Hard times, it ain't easy It ain't easy
The artist observes the struggles faced by people around him as they confront poverty, death, and other difficult circumstances.