Bully
Andrew Kamen Lyrics
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Knowing you're out there
Doing worse than I am
I often imagine
That we're back to arguing
Putting each other down
But wanting the other around
What accounts for this bizarre behavior
It could be worse
We're slow
But we do learn
I felt slightly relieved
When I heard
My worst enemy had died
What kind of monster am I
The kind that's still alive
In these lyrics, Andrew Kamen is expressing a complex mix of emotions towards his past relationship with someone who acted as a bully towards him. He starts by saying that he feels slightly better knowing that this person is now suffering or experiencing difficulties in life. This implies that he may have been hurt by their actions in the past and takes some comfort in knowing that they are no longer on the "winning" side. This reflects a common human tendency to seek validation or relief when those who have caused harm or pain also face repercussions.
He goes on to say that he often imagines being back in a situation where they argue and put each other down. However, despite this toxic dynamic, there is still a desire to have the other person around. This suggests that even though their relationship was toxic and destructive, there may have been a strange attachment or codependency between them. It raises the question of why someone would hold onto such anger and resentment, and perhaps why they would continue seeking out or longing for a person who treated them poorly.
Kamen then introspectively wonders about the reasons behind their bizarre behavior. He questions why his former bully holds onto this anger and why he himself still desires the presence of someone who hurt him. This reflection suggests a certain level of self-awareness and a desire to understand the complexities of human emotions and relationships. It acknowledges that people can sometimes get trapped in patterns of negativity, even though there may be opportunities for growth and change.
Towards the end of the lyrics, Kamen reveals a darker side to his emotions. He admits to feeling slightly relieved when he heard the news that his worst enemy had died. This admission showcases a sense of guilt and self-reflection, as he questions what kind of monster he is for having such thoughts. This line suggests that even when faced with someone who has caused harm, there can still be a moral dilemma in feeling satisfaction or relief at their misfortune. It highlights the complexity of human emotions and the internal struggles we may face when dealing with our own demons.
Line by Line Meaning
I feel slightly better
My emotional state has improved slightly
Knowing you're out there
Being aware of your existence
Doing worse than I am
Experiencing more hardship or difficulties than I currently face
I often imagine
Frequently picturing or creating scenarios in my mind
That we're back to arguing
Reverting to our past behavior of engaging in intense disagreements
Putting each other down
Insulting or belittling one another
But wanting the other around
Despite the conflicts, desiring the presence of the other person
What accounts for this bizarre behavior
What explains this unusual conduct
Why are you holding on to this anger
Why do you still cling to this resentment
It could be worse
The situation has the potential to be more unpleasant
We're slow
We are not very quick or fast
But we do learn
Nevertheless, we acquire knowledge or understanding
I felt slightly relieved
I experienced a small sense of relief
When I heard
Upon receiving information
My worst enemy had died
My most hated adversary had passed away
What kind of monster am I
What sort of inhumane being am I
The kind that's still alive
The type that continues to exist
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
Written by: Andrew Kamen
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind