Dick In A Box
Andy Samberg Lyrics

Hey, girl
Greetings, young lady

I got something real important to give you
I have a crucial, valuable object for you

So just sit down
Please take your seat

And listen
Attentively hear me out

Girl, you know we been together
Girl, you realize we've been in a relationship

Such a long, long time
For a significant, extended period

(Such a long time)
(I can't stress this enough)

And now I'm ready
And at present, I'm prepared

To lay it on the line
To be completely honest with you

Wow, you know it's Christmas
Wow, you're aware that it is Christmas

And my heart is open wide
And I'm immensely open-minded and generous

(Open wide)
(I'm serious)

Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
I'll give you a present that will give you an insight into my thoughts

(What's on my mind)
(My true feelings)

A gift real special
An exceptional gift

So take off the top
Kindly remove the cover

Take a look inside
Observe what's in the interior part

It's my dick in a box
It's my genital organ enclosed in a container

(It's in a box)
(It's isolated)

Not gonna get you a diamond ring
I won't purchase a diamond ring for you

That sort of gift don't mean anything
That type of present holds no significance

Not gonna get you a fancy car
I won't obtain a luxurious automobile for you

Girl, you gotta know you're my shining star
Young lady, you have to understand you are my significant asset

Not gonna get you a house in the hills
I won't buy a house for you in the hills

A girl like you needs something real
A girl of your caliber requires something authentic

I wanna get you something from the heart
I want to buy you a heartfelt present

(Something special, girl)
(A unique item, young lady)

See, I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs giving, girl
As a wise person, I understand when a present has to be provided, young lady

And I got just the one
And I have precisely what's necessary

Something to show you that you are second to none
An article to demonstrate that you are above all the rest

To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
To all the fellows striving to amaze their women

It's easy to do
It's a straightforward process

Just follow these steps:
Just adhere to these instructions

One:
Firstly:

Cut a hole in a box
Create an opening in a container

Two:
Secondly:

Put your junk in that box
Place your private part inside that container

Three:
Thirdly:

Make her open the box
Encourage her to open the container

And that's the way you do it
That's how you achieve it

(Ooh)
(Ooh)

My dick in a box, babe
My genital organ enclosed in a container, honey

Christmas
Christmas

Dick in a box
Genital organ enclosed in a container

Hanukkah
Hanukkah

Dick in a box!
Genital organ enclosed in a container!

Kwanzaa
Kwanzaa

A dick in a box
A genital organ enclosed in a container

Every single holiday, a dick in a box
Every celebration, a genital organ enclosed in a container

Over at your parents' house, a dick in a box
At your parents' place, a genital organ enclosed in a container

Midday at the grocery store, a dick in a box
Around noon at the grocery market, a genital organ enclosed in a container

Backstage at the CMAs, a dick in a box
Behind the scenes at the CMAs, a genital organ enclosed in a container

(Yeah)
(Yeah)

A dick in a box
A genital organ enclosed in a container

Dick in a box
Genital organ enclosed in a container

Dick in a box...
Genital organ enclosed in a container...