Jeselnik worked as a writer on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon for the show's first season and often appeared in the show's comedy sketches. After working on Late Night for a year, he left the show in March 2010 to focus on performing stand-up comedy and other future projects.
Romance
Anthony Jeselnik Lyrics
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Whenever I meet a pretty girl, whenever I meet a pretty girl.
The first thing I look for is intelligence, because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine.
Couple of months ago I gave my girlfriend some fancy???.
She actually got mad at me...
Say Anthony I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me...
and I said well, if you wanna get technical, It was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Like this past Christmas, I kept telling my girlfriend from months in advance, months.
Baby all I want from you this year is an X-Box, that's it.
Begginning and end of list, X-Box.
You know what she got me?
A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together.
Which was fine...
Because I got her an X-Box.
I should've got her a chocolate.
My girlfriend loves the chocolate.
She's always eating chocolate, she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction.
Like "
Keep me away from those chocolate bars Anthony!
I'm addicted to them!" And it is really annoying.
So I put her in a car, and took her downtown.
And I pointed out a crack addict and I said "
You see that honey?
Why can't you be that skinny?" You guys seem like nice people, I don't wanna sound like a jerk here, but that joke usually gets a standing ovation.
The lyrics to Anthony Jeselnik's song "Romance" highlight the comedian's twisted and dark sense of humor. The song touches on different aspects of a relationship, including gift-giving, physical appearance, and intelligence. The opening line of the song sets the tone for the rest of it: "My girlfriend wants me to be a better person, so I can get a better girlfriend," which shows Jeselnik's selfish and narcissistic side. He goes on to state that when he meets a pretty girl, the first thing he looks for is intelligence, but only so he can ultimately "have" her.
Jeselnik also shares a story about giving his girlfriend a gift that caused an argument, and he jokes that it was originally intended for his previous girlfriend, indicating his lack of commitment to his current partner. He later makes a joke about his girlfriend's love for chocolate and how he wishes she were as skinny as a crack addict. The song concludes with Jeselnik acknowledging that his jokes may come off as offensive to some, but he often gets a standing ovation for them.
Overall, the lyrics to "Romance" reveal Jeselnik's cynical and callous outlook on relationships. The song is a commentary on how people use and manipulate others for their own selfish gain, rather than genuinely caring for them.
Line by Line Meaning
My girlfriend, wants me be a better person, so I can get a better girlfriend.
My girlfriend wants me to improve myself so I could date someone better than her.
Whenever I meet a pretty girl, whenever I meet a pretty girl.
I am always on the lookout for attractive women.
The first thing I look for is intelligence, because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine.
I use intelligence as a filter to eliminate women that are not good enough for me.
Couple of months ago I gave my girlfriend some fancy???
I gave my girlfriend an expensive gift, but she got mad at me.
Say Anthony I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me...
My girlfriend pointed out that the gift was more for me than for her.
and I said well, if you wanna get technical, It was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.
I admitted that the gift was originally intended for my ex-girlfriend.
Happy Valentine's Day.
I wish you a happy Valentine's Day, but I don't really mean it.
Giving gifts is tough in any relationship I assume...
I believe that giving gifts is difficult in any relationship.
Like this past Christmas, I kept telling my girlfriend from months in advance, months.
I repeatedly reminded my girlfriend what I wanted for Christmas, months before the holiday.
Baby all I want from you this year is an X-Box, that's it.
I made it clear that all I wanted from my girlfriend for Christmas was an X-Box.
Begginning and end of list, X-Box.
The X-Box was the only item on my Christmas wishlist.
You know what she got me?
Do you know what my girlfriend gave me?
A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together.
My girlfriend made me a frame with a picture of us together on our first date.
Which was fine...
I pretended to be okay with the gift, but I wasn't.
Because I got her an X-Box.
I am only okay with her gift because I got her an X-Box.
I should've got her a chocolate.
I regret not getting her chocolate as a gift.
My girlfriend loves the chocolate.
My girlfriend is obsessed with chocolate.
She's always eating chocolate, she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction.
My girlfriend eats chocolate all the time and jokes about being addicted to it.
Like "Keep me away from those chocolate bars Anthony! I'm addicted to them!" And it is really annoying.
My girlfriend's jokes about her chocolate addiction are irritating.
So I put her in a car, and took her downtown.
I took my girlfriend on a ride to downtown.
And I pointed out a crack addict and I said "You see that honey? Why can't you be that skinny?"
I pointed out a thin crack addict to my girlfriend and asked her why she couldn't be skinny like him.
You guys seem like nice people, I don't wanna sound like a jerk here, but that joke usually gets a standing ovation.
I acknowledge that my joke is rude, but I still find it funny and believe that other people would too.
Contributed by William B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.