April’s first release, “All I Did This Summer Was Go to Rehab (2014),” can be self-described as equal parts cringey and genius. It documents her first ever experiments in song writing and sobriety after uprooting her life in New Jersey to start over post-rehab in Lancaster, PA. A short EP of songs, “Things I Never Meant to Tell You” followed in 2015 featuring songs that would later be worked into the full band known as “Apes of the State.” 2016 brought the band’s first recording, “This City Isn’t Big Enough” which was a far leap both instrumentally and quality wise from the lofi solo bedroom recordings. Their second full length album, “Pipe Dream” was released in November of 2019. “Pipe Dream” features a more dynamic sound, with the band introducing the use of percussion and electric guitar on some of the tracks.
Their sound is very lyrical, influenced by storyteller singer/songwriters such as Paul Baribeau and Everyone Except Me. Apes of the State takes the simplicity and straightforward, emotional writing style of these influences and combines it with the drive and power of a full acoustic band. Their sound is under constant evolution but is deeply rooted in punk rock, folk, and bluegrass. As a band, they are driven by DIY ethics with a goal of helping as many people as possible with their music. They sing songs about whatever makes them feel things, like love, heartbreak, student loan debt, regret, and overcoming addiction.
They have performed across the US anywhere and everywhere, from basements, backyards, and living rooms to the Warped Tour and TEDx stages. The members are also heavily involved in activism for people recovering from substance use disorder and promoting harm reduction at their shows. In 2016, April and Dan founded an organization called Second Chance to Play which aims to help individuals in rehabs and in recovery communities participate in the music scene of their hometown Lancaster.
Timeline
Apes of the State Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
In the basement apartment of a college town
The tears rolled out as I started to
Break
Down
Cause I was lost and I was scared I was graduating school and for the first time in my life I felt so unprepared
With no idea what direction I was heading to...
Do do do do
Yea I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind
Do do do do
One year ago I was sitting on the edge of the bed
At my sister′s house in Edison
I pulled the needle out as I started to
Break
Down
Cause I was hurt and I was scared I tried to make it on my own and I found out that I was just so unprepared
And that was how I learned
That in order to be fixed...
I had to be broken first
And I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind
Do do do do
Yea I was trying I was trying to stop getting high
Do do do do
Four months ago I met a girl with pretty brown eyes
She looked at me and she said "I want you for mine"
It made me happier than I'd been...
Well in a long time
And when I found her I was scared
Love never seems to come when I′m prepared
And I want to write her a song.
But everytime I try, the words never seem to come out right
And I'm just trying I'm just trying not to lose my mind
Do do do do
But she makes me yea she makes me lose my god damn mind
Do do do do
The song Timeline by Apes of the State is a personal narrative that speaks of the struggles of growing up, the trauma of past experiences, and the bittersweet feeling of falling in love. The song narrates three different moments in the singer's life – two years ago, one year ago, and four months ago - each defined by a moment of crisis, revelation, or change. In the first verse, the singer reflects on a college town where they felt lost and scared about the future, struggling to find their direction. There is an overwhelming sense of uncertainty, and the pain is so intense that they need to try hard not to break down. The anxiety of uncertainty is evident in the repetition of the line, "I was trying not to lose my mind." The second verse details a moment of heartbreak, where the singer tries to make it on their own but fails, leading to a feeling of being unprepared. They acknowledge the need to be broken to be fixed, indicating that there is a natural cycle of growth that involves pain and trauma. In the chorus, the repetition of the line "I was trying not to lose my mind" suggests that the singer has learned from past experiences and understands the importance of resilience.
The third verse takes a more optimistic tone as the singer reflects on a recent past where they met someone special, someone who made them happier than they had been in a long time. The theme of unpreparedness re-emerges as they note how love never comes when they are ready for it. The chorus takes on a slightly different meaning here as the singer acknowledges that despite being happy, they still struggle with their inner demons. However, the stylistic deviation in the bridge is perhaps the most profound aspect of the song. For the first time, Apes of the State abandons the verse-chorus structure and introduces a miniature moment of contemplation. The singer admits that they want to write a song for their new love, but they keep struggling with the words. The feeling of inadequacy is so strong that "the words never seem to come out right." Redemption comes with the final repetition of the line, "she makes me lose my god damn mind," conveying the degree of the passion that the singer feels.
Overall, the song Timeline is a poignant representation of the human experience, where people are lost, hurt, and scared, but ultimately learn to find their way. The narrative progression through time, the variation in tempo and style, and the repetition of specific lines coalesce to produce a potent and introspective musical composition.
Line by Line Meaning
Two years ago I was sitting on a tiny blue couch
I was feeling lost and unprepared while sitting in a basement apartment of a college town after graduating from school.
The tears rolled out as I started to Break Down
I began to cry because I was overwhelmed with feelings of uncertainty and fear about my future.
Cause I was lost and I was scared I was graduating school and for the first time in my life I felt so unprepared
I was scared because I had just graduated from school and did not know what direction my life was headed.
And I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind Do do do do Yea I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind Do do do do
I was trying really hard not to lose my composure and let my fear and uncertainty take over my life.
One year ago I was sitting on the edge of the bed At my sister′s house in Edison
I was feeling sad and scared and was sitting on the edge of the bed in my sister's house in Edison.
I pulled the needle out as I started to Break Down
I started to cry as I pulled the needle out, realizing that I was unprepared for the challenges of trying to make it on my own.
Cause I was hurt and I was scared I tried to make it on my own and I found out that I was just so unprepared And that was how I learned That in order to be fixed... I had to be broken first
I was hurt and scared after trying to make it on my own and realized that I needed to be broken to be fixed.
And I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind Do do do do Yea I was trying I was trying to stop getting high Do do do do
I was trying really hard not to lose my mind and was attempting to quit using drugs.
Four months ago I met a girl with pretty brown eyes She looked at me and she said "I want you for mine" It made me happier than I'd been... Well in a long time
I met a girl that made me happier than I had been in a long time when she told me that she wanted me to be hers.
And when I found her I was scared Love never seems to come when I′m prepared And I want to write her a song. But everytime I try, the words never seem to come out right
I was scared when I found her because love never seems to come when I'm prepared, and although I want to write her a song, I struggle to find the right words to express my feelings.
And I'm just trying I'm just trying not to lose my mind Do do do do But she makes me yea she makes me lose my god damn mind Do do do do
I'm trying not to lose control of my emotions but she makes me lose my mind because I love her so much.
Writer(s): April Hartman
Contributed by Caden O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
c h i l l
Two years ago I was sitting on a tiny blue couch
In the basement apartment of a college town
The tears rolled out as I started to
Break
Down
Cause I was lost and I was scared I was graduating school and for the first time in my life I felt so unprepared
With no idea what direction I was heading to..
And I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind
Do do do do
Yea I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind
Do do do do
One year ago I was sitting on the edge of the bed
At my sister's house in Edison
I pulled the needle out as I started to
Break
Down
Cause I was hurt and I was scared I tried to make it on my own and I found out that I was just so unprepared
And that was how I learned
That in order to be fixed..
I had to be broken first
And I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind
Do do do do
Yea I was trying I was trying to stop getting high
Do do do do
Four months ago I met a girl with pretty brown eyes
She looked at me and she said "I want you for mine"
It made me happier than I'd been..
Well in a long time
And when I found her I was scared
Love never seems to come when I'm prepared
And I want to write her a song..
But everytime I try, the words never seem to come out right
And I'm just trying I'm just trying not to lose my mind
Do do do do
But she makes me yea she makes me lose my god damn mind
Do do do do
JoshxDarnxIt
Wow, this is so cute. You guys are really great! Thanks for sharing this with me :)
xwednesdaymurderx
This one is so different ♡ its official, im obsessed with this band.
brett oelschlager
This song really helped me through my active addiction. I still cry listening to it.
Justin Warren
How are they not selling out stadiums yet? (I mean pre/post Corona)
JitterEye
lovely
Angel Noose
1:59 gets me every. Single. Time
Trinitie
💕