Pillows
Automatic Loveletter Lyrics


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I wanna run away
To somewhere far and somewhere safe
So scared of this place
Cause you don't even know me
And you don't even care that I've been lonely
And tired of fighting in the den of the lions where I won't even try
And in the dead of the night I wait
Early morning and I still haven't got some sleep
Call me crazy
Call me baby
You can call me weak
You don't even know, no you don't even know

That the weight of the world on me
I've been there and back again
And it seems to me
That a promise isn't something you keep
And a secret never lasts
It only sees what you see

Cause it's a cruel cruel ride
And if you want to come inside
You better sit up and shut your eyes
And hold on for dear life
Cause if you don't then you will surely lose your mind
But I won't

I wanna hide my face
I wanna find the strength to get through this
Oh I know I can do it

It's the taste in my mouth
It's the nauseousness
It's my stomach in knots forming cascades of gunshots
Leaving me holding a pen and this page and these words filled with rage

In the dead of the night I wait
Early morning and I still haven't got some sleep
Call me crazy
Call me baby
You can call me weak
Because you don't even know

Cause it's a cruel cruel ride
And if you want to come inside
You better sit up and shut your eyes
And hold on for dear life
Cause if you don't then you will surely lose your mind
But I won't
I won't

"Hello, can anyone hear me?"
"Oh, does anyone know me?"
"No, can anyone hear me?"
"No, can anyone love me?"
"No, can anyone, can anyone hear me?"

Cause it's a cruel cruel ride
And if you want to come inside
You better sit up and shut your eyes
And hold on for dear life
Cause if you don't then you will surely lose your mind
But I won't
But I won't




I won't
I won't

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Pillows" by Automatic Loveletter convey a sense of loneliness, insecurity, and the struggle to find a safe space. The singer expresses her desire to escape from where she is and go somewhere far, possibly to find emotional safety. She is afraid of being in a place where nobody knows her and nobody cares about her. The line "And tired of fighting in the den of the lions where I won't even try" hints at her feeling weak and hopeless in a challenging environment. She is sleepless and lonely and feels judged by others.


The second verse of the song seems to touch on broken promises and secrets. The singer has already been through that phase and feels that promises are not worth keeping. She feels that secrets don't last long and they reveal themselves eventually. The lyrics "Cause it's a cruel cruel ride, And if you want to come inside" suggest that the singer is warning someone not to trust her feelings or what she says. She feels that any attempt to understand her will only be a cruel experience, and one must hold on strongly to avoid losing their mind.


The song's chorus repeats the previous lines, emphasizing the danger of the experience mentioned earlier, but emphasizing that the singer will not lose her mind. The concluding lines, "Hello, can anyone hear me? Oh, does anyone know me?" indicate the singer's desperate desire to be accepted and recognized by someone.


Line by Line Meaning

I wanna run away
The desire to flee from the current situation that brings fear and insecurity


To somewhere far and somewhere safe
The longing for a place that is far from the current situation and brings safety


So scared of this place
Feeling of fear and apprehension towards the current place


Cause you don't even know me
Feeling unacknowledged or unnoticed by someone else


And you don't even care that I've been lonely
Feeling of isolation and lack of concern from someone who doesn't acknowledge one's loneliness


And tired of fighting in the den of the lions where I won't even try
Exhaustion from constantly being in a dangerous or difficult situation where giving up seems like the only option


And in the dead of the night I wait
Waiting for something to change or improve while feeling helpless or alone


Early morning and I still haven't got some sleep
Insomnia resulting from overwhelming emotions and thoughts


Call me crazy
Self-doubting or self-deprecating behavior resulting from lack of confidence or validation


Call me baby
Desiring to be noticed or cared for which reveals vulnerability


You can call me weak
Feeling of being powerless or vulnerable


That the weight of the world on me
The feeling of being burdened and overwhelmed by life's challenges


I've been there and back again
Having experienced and overcome life's challenges before


And it seems to me
Observation or realization of a pattern or occurrence


That a promise isn't something you keep
Lack of trust in others who make false promises


And a secret never lasts
Belief that keeping secrets ultimately leads to negative consequences


It only sees what you see
The belief that hiding or keeping secrets limits one's personal growth and connection with others


Cause it's a cruel cruel ride
Life being difficult and harsh


And if you want to come inside
The choice to participate or be involved in life's challenges


You better sit up and shut your eyes
The need to be prepared and endure life's difficulties


And hold on for dear life
The will and determination to overcome the obstacles in life


Cause if you don't then you will surely lose your mind
The consequence of not enduring the harshness of life's challenges and ultimately succumbing to them


But I won't
The singer's determination to remain strong and endure, despite the difficulties of life


I wanna hide my face
Desiring to escape personal struggles or conditions


I wanna find the strength to get through this
Desiring the willpower to overcome personal struggles


Oh I know I can do it
Believing in oneself to overcome personal struggles


It's the taste in my mouth
The sensation or feeling resulting from personal struggles


It's the nauseousness
Resulting physical and psychological symptoms resulting from personal struggles


It's my stomach in knots forming cascades of gunshots
The feeling of intense physical tension and emotion felt internally


Leaving me holding a pen and this page and these words filled with rage
Using writing or other expressive mediums to convey intense emotions, particularly related to frustration or anger


"Hello, can anyone hear me?"
The desire for connection and acknowledgement from others


"Oh, does anyone know me?"
The desire for others to understand and empathize with personal struggles


"No, can anyone love me?"
Feeling unlovable or undeserving of love


"No, can anyone, can anyone hear me?"
The desperate plea for help or support


But I won't
Despite the difficult life challenges and struggles, the singer remains determined to endure and overcome




Contributed by Kennedy P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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