Evergreen
Baddd Spellah vs. MC Chris Lyrics

On the first day of Christmas my dealer gave to me
My drug dealer gave me something for Christmas

A bag of shrooms and some LSD
I received psychedelic drugs as a gift

We snuck into the park to steal some Christmas trees
We went to the park at night to steal Christmas trees

But the cops pulled up and asked us nicely to leave
Police arrived and requested that we leave peacefully

We're all fucked up on Smirnoff eggnog
We are intoxicated by eggnog

We crunch on candy canes and rev up all our chainsaws
We eat candy canes and prepare to cut down trees with chainsaws

You give us 30 and we'll tie it up at no extra cost
If you give us $30, we will secure your tree for free

We'll take that 30 and spend it on pot
We will use the $30 to buy marijuana

We're not too bright we flunk all of our classes
We struggle academically and fail all of our courses

Get in fights getting drunk coz we're bad kids
We engage in physical altercations while drunk because we are misbehaving youths

Our dads call us bastards mom's always plastered
Our fathers insult us, while our mothers are always drunk

We're the closest thing to suburban gangsters
We are like gangsters but live in suburban areas

Cold air's what we breathe
The air we breathe is cold

Our vests have no sleeves
Our jackets do not have sleeves

It's hard to haul trees in subzero degrees
Transporting trees is difficult when the temperature is below freezing

We smell like evergreens
We have the scent of evergreen trees on us

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
The only thing I want for Christmas is my two front teeth

And some mistletoe all up in this piece
I would like some mistletoe in my surroundings

Maybe a girl that's free of disease
I desire an uninfected female companion

And while I'm thinking, throw in a couple of G's yeah
Also, if possible, I would like a few thousand dollars

I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed
I would like repairs made to my snowmobile's tracks

I want a ho who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit
I seek a promiscuous woman who is not bothered by my ill-fitting snowsuit

I'm just a hayseed selling trees to break trees
I am a country bumpkin selling trees to cut them down

Know your daddy hates me it's driving you crazy
Your father disapproves of me, and it's causing you stress

Even though my nose is runny get the honey's coz I'm money
Despite having a runny nose, girls like me because I am well-off financially

But I never get laid can't find my way into long undies
I do not have sexual encounters and have difficulty wearing long underwear

I don't trip, just dip, listen to country
I do not use drugs, but only dip tobacco while listening to country music

With my piss I write my name because I think it's funny
I urinate on snow, forming letters to spell my name for amusement

I'm so into this deciduous lifestyle
I am committed to this tree-selling lifestyle

You see dead tree and I see a cash cow
Others view a dead tree while I envision a lucrative business opportunity

I never bargain and I never back down
I refuse to negotiate and do not back away from a deal

Put your back seat down and I'll take your ass to tree town
Lower the car seat, and I will transport you to the tree farm

Your daughter's giving me the eye
Your daughter is showing interest in me

So I am giving her a ride
I am taking her with me in my vehicle

I'll put up the tree myself and put up all the lights
I will assemble the tree and install all the lights

As long as I get all up in her tights
I will only do this if I am able to engage in intercourse with her