Miss Marmelstein
Barbra Streisand Lyrics

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein
Repetitive mention of Miss Marmelstein's name, indicating the persistence of her situation

Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein' Miss Marmelstein
Questioning why Miss Marmelstein is always referred to in such a formal manner

Other girls get called by their first names right away
Observation that other girls are called by their first names immediately

They get cozy intimate
Implication that other girls are given special treatment and familiarity

Do you know what I mean'
Rhetorical question to emphasize the point made

And nobody calls me, "Hey, baby doll", Miss Marmelstein
Expressing the desire to be addressed by more affectionate names, but only being referred to by her last name

Or "Honey dear", Miss Marmelstein, or "Sweetie pie"
Examples of terms of endearment she wishes to be called

Even my first name would be preferable
Acknowledgement that her first name is not ideal but still better than her last name

But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein
Continued frustration over being referred to formally

You'd think at least Miss M. they could try
Suggestion that being called Miss M. would be a small improvement

I'm a very willing secretary
Confirmation of being an eager and willing worker

Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate
Employer would agree that Miss Marmelstein is a satisfactory employee

Except for one disappointment one fly in the ointment
One issue prevents Miss Marmelstein from fully enjoying her job

It's great I mean simply great
Despite the issue, Miss Marmelstein still appreciates her job

But the aggravation of my situation
Acknowledgement of her ongoing frustration with her name

I might as well get it off my chest, it's the drum appellation
Revealing what specifically is irking her, her title of "Miss Marmelstein"

Oh, pardon the big words I apply
Apology for using complex vocabulary

But I was an English major at C.C.N.Y.
Explanation for her familiarity with advanced words and concepts

Drum appellation
Term for her formal name/title

With which I am persistently addressed
Further acknowledgement of how frequently she is referred to by her last name

Persistently, perpetually, continually and inevitably addressed
Emphasizing the frequency and inevitability of being formally addressed

Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic
It's frustrating enough to make someone lose their mind

Other girls get called by their nick names right away
Further comparison to other girls receiving familiar treatment

Slightly naughty or risky
Implications that other girls may receive inappropriate nicknames

Nobody calls me,"Koo-chee-koo", Miss Marmelstein
Wishing for a silly nickname or term of endearment

Or "Boobala", Miss Marmelstein, or "Passion pie"
Examples of endearing names she wishes to be called

Even, "Hey there, babe" thought not respectable,
Elevator pitch for being agreeable to less formal terms of endearment

ain't so object able
Not as bad as being called by her formal name all the time

It's kind of crummy but chummy
Acknowledgement that even an informal name would be preferred

Of course if I got married, that would do it
Sarcastic implication that only getting married could change her nickname

So, where's the lucky guy'
Joking about the idea of getting married

Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein
Resignation to being called by her formal name

Everyday I get more and more fast
Growing impatience with her formal name

Oh, I could bust
Frustration has reached a high level