Wishful Thinking
Barnes J. J. Lyrics

Lately I've been thinkin bout my ex
I've been thinking about my past relationship with my ex lately

Thinkin bout the single life
Thinking about the freedom that comes with being single

I'm always fuckin' stressed
I'm constantly feeling stressed

Cheated on me and ya hit the next
My ex cheated on me and quickly moved on to someone else

Prolly woulda came at my neck
She probably would have been confrontational towards me

You know them spanish chicks
She was of Spanish origin

Always down to fuck
She was always willing to have sex

No luck quick nut
I couldn't last long during sex

Pussy was the best i ever fuckin' touched
Her vagina was the best I've ever experienced

Quick bust
I would ejaculate quickly

Had me feelin rusty everytime we fucked
I felt inadequate and rusty every time we had sex

I said this never happen
I thought this would never happen to me

Couldn't last to make her cum
I couldn't last long enough to satisfy her sexually

I've been feelin crazy lately yea I'm feelin numb
I've been feeling mentally unstable and numb lately

Life is gettin tirin
I'm starting to get tired of life

Feelin like chewed gum
I feel like I've been chewed up and spat out

Spit me out like im used
I was discarded like I had no value

Kick me out like a bum
I was kicked to the curb like a homeless person

Hit me like a fuckin juul
It felt like I was hit hard like a Juul vape inhalation

Knocked down like the scum
I was knocked down and made to feel like dirt

Ive been tryin to get bread
I've been trying to make money

Pickin all these crumbs
I'm only making small amounts of money

I was lookin for commitment
I wanted a committed relationship

She was lookin for some fun
She only wanted a casual fling

I was tryna work it out
I wanted to make things work

But She said i aint the one
She told me that I wasn't the one for her

Since then i quit relationships
I've since decided to stop pursuing relationships

Tryna coppa gun
I'm trying to save enough money to buy a gun

This life isnt best for me
I don't believe this kind of life suits me

I need a plan to run
I need a plan to leave and start a new life

Been contemplatin Suicide
I've been thinking about ending my own life

24 i'm young
I'm only 24 years old

I'll play lifes game til either 50 51
I plan to keep living until I'm 50 or 51 years old

Maybe 60 61
Or perhaps until I'm 60 or 61 years old

Ive had good times
I've had enjoyable experiences

And i know that im loved
I know that I am loved by some people

But what good is life
What's the point of living

If your constantly alone
If you're always alone, what's the point

Ive been goin hard
I've been working hard

But i still missed my zone
I still feel like I'm not quite in my element

I never hit my friends
I never contacted my friends

Why the fuck im always home
Why am I always at home and not out with my friends

I bought a used car
I bought a second-hand car

Got a new fuckin phone
But at least I got a new phone

I aint hit nobody up
I haven't contacted anyone

I Been gone for too long
I've been absent for too long

Why'd i stay away from love
Why did I distance myself from love

Bitches always did me wrong
Women I've been with always caused me pain

1A was pretty bad
My previous relationship wasn't great

But the dicky wasnt strong
But it wasn't a lack of physical ability on my part

Her pussy too tight
But her vagina was too tight

Didn't say my dicky small
It wasn't because I was small

She said she need a man
She told me she needed a man

I guess i wasnt one at all
But apparently I wasn't good enough to be that man

My self esteem
My confidence in myself

Has reached
Has gotten to

My all time low
The lowest point it's ever been

Fuck my posed to grow
I don't know how to grow from here

Feelin like i cant do shows
I feel like I can't perform well anymore

My motivation reach a low
My motivation is at an all time low

Anxiety is kickin
I'm experiencing anxiety

Feelin demon creepin
I feel like there's a presence of evil

Watch my body die
I feel like my body is dying

Heart stops beatin
My heart feels like it's stopping

Wouldnt talk it
I wouldn't admit these things to anyone

Less i see it
Unless I actually see it happening

Scared to sleep
I'm afraid to go to sleep

When i'm dreamin
Because of the nightmares I experience while dreaming

Feel the presence
I sense a presence

Feel it breathin
I feel like it's breathing

On my shoulder
On my shoulder or nearby

Down my neck
I feel it on my neck

Hold me down
It feels like it's holding me down

He be screamin
It is screaming

Needa get you life together
I need to get my life together

In the end ima reap it
I will ultimately have to face the consequences of my actions

I wake up with
I wake up and

My door wide open
My door is wide open

I know i left it closed
But I'm sure I closed it before going to bed

I've been sensin omens
I've been feeling like something bad is about to happen

I got bad luck
I feel like I have bad luck

And I travel with some curses
I feel like I'm carrying some kind of curse with me

Ever since baby moms
Ever since my child's mother

Feelin numb
I've been feeling emotionally numb

As it worsens
As it gets worse

My chest is gettin tighter
I'm feeling like my chest is getting tighter

It aint never gonna open
I feel like it's never going to get better

Up to any bitch
I'm not willing to be with any woman

In the end it isnt worth it
Because in the end, it would just cause more pain

I cant feel my energy
I feel like I have no energy left

I'm tryna gain a purpose
I'm trying to find a reason for existing

I feel you here
I sense your presence

I feel you watching me
I feel like you're watching me

I know your there
I know you're there

Your presence is taunting me
But your presence is taunting me

I bet you don't care
I'm sure you don't care

What more you want from me
What else could you possibly want from me?

I feel them stares
I feel like people are staring at me

Tell me whats wrong with me
I'm wondering what's wrong with me