Nothing Changes
Beardo Lyrics

These years, I juggle a pistol
I've been dealing with some heavy stuff lately, including a gun that I keep with me at all times.

And a letter, sincerely Beardo
I'm writing this song as a way to express myself and be honest with my listeners about what's going on in my life.

See I ain't kill my self yet
Despite having thoughts of suicide, I haven't acted on them and am still here.

But the voices, they don't let me get no rest
Sometimes it feels like there's a constant barrage of negative thoughts and emotions in my mind that makes it difficult to find peace or rest.

How'd my life end up such a mess?
I'm struggling to come to terms with how my life has turned out - it's not what I had hoped for.

And how'd I get this gun on my chest
I'm not sure how I ended up in a place where I felt the need to carry a weapon on me.

Cocaine is the devil
I've been struggling with addiction to cocaine, which has had a negative impact on my life and my mental health.

And I know now, I ain't made of metal
I've come to realize that I'm not indestructible, and the choices I make can have serious consequences.

My own friends, they don't get it
Even though I have people around me who care, they can't fully understand or relate to what I'm going through.

I'm a piece of shit! There I said it
I have a lot of self-loathing and feel like I'm not worthy of love or respect.

And every night I just dream when I was a kid
I find myself thinking about the past a lot, and wishing things could be different.

Playing and shit
Those memories of playing and having fun are a stark contrast to the difficulties I face now.

A roach fell in my cocoa puffs
Even then, though, there were moments of frustration and disappointment - like when a bug got into my breakfast cereal.

Spaghetti-Os I packed for lunch
I didn't always have the best food to eat, either.

Ring ring, alarm goes off
Nowadays, I have to work a regular job just to get by - and it's not always easy to wake up and face the day.

I start my new job working at Ralph's
I'm working at a grocery store called Ralph's, which isn't glamorous but pays the bills.

You see it's too late for me
Sometimes I feel like I'm already too far gone and there's no hope for me.

I got two burned out knees
My body has suffered a lot of wear and tear from both my addiction and my job.

And I ain't got much to eat
Even with a job, I struggle to put food on the table sometimes.

Just some cereal, and some moldy meat
When I do have food, it's often not very appetizing or even safe to eat.

And I'm getting real sick, of my music
Even though I'm a musician, I'm burned out and tired of my own songs.

And the way I abuse it
I've found myself turning to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with my problems.

Heard shoot to kill got drive by'd
I've heard about violence happening in my neighborhood and it's a scary reminder of how dangerous life can be.

Hmm... haha
I'm not sure what to say about it all, so I just chuckle nervously.

It's all the same
Despite everything that's happened, my life feels stagnant and unchanging.

Nothing Changes around here
I'm stuck in this rut, and it doesn't seem like things are going to improve anytime soon.

When I die, I'm gonna die rich
I still hold out hope that someday I'll strike it rich and all my struggles will be worth it.

That's what I tell myself in this fucked up shit
I'm aware that it's a long shot, but it's one of the few things that keep me going.

LA I'm gonna waste away
Living in Los Angeles can be both exciting and draining, and lately it feels like the latter.

Cut another line of the Yay
I'm still battling addiction and the temptation to use drugs is always present.

27 and I'm on my way
I'm in my late 20s now, and it feels like I'm running out of time to turn things around.

Up or down? Who can say?
I'm not sure what my future holds - it could go either way.

Another visit to the county hospital
I've had to seek medical attention for my drug use and its effects on my health.

I can't stop bleeding out of my nostrils
My drug use has caused physical harm to my body, such as nosebleeds.

Things just seem so impossible
With everything going on in my life, it's hard to imagine ever being happy or content.

When your dad won't even talk to you
I have unresolved issues with my father that have caused a lot of pain and sadness for me.

And I ain't mad at Uncle Sam
Despite my struggles, I don't blame the government or anyone else for my problems - I take responsibility for my own choices.

Gone crazy again and again
My mental health is not always stable, and I've had moments where I've felt like I was losing my mind.

And this just might be the end
I worry that I won't be able to overcome my addiction and other issues, and that I'm headed for a dark future.

Get it while you still can
I'm encouraging others to take advantage of opportunities and enjoy life while they can - you never know what the future holds.

Cause I'm just one man
I'm just an individual, and I can only do so much to change my circumstances.

With one plan
I have a vague hope for success, but I'm not sure how to achieve it or if it's even possible at this point.

I'll be killing in Iran
I'm so lost and out of options, that I'm considering joining the military and fighting in a warzone as a way out of my situation.

Haha
I try to joke about it or laugh things off, but the reality of my life is far from funny or enjoyable.