Levi Johnston's Blues
Ben Folds;Nick Hornby Lyrics

Woke up this morning, what do I see?
I woke up to find myself in the public eye and attention of media.

Three thousand cameras pointed at me.
I am being constantly followed by the media who are capturing my every move.

Dude says, 'You Levi?'
Someone asked me if I was Levi.

I'm like, 'Yes, that's me sir.'
I confirmed my identity to the person who asked.

'Well, you just knocked up the VP nominee's daughter.'
The person informed me that I was going to be a father to the daughter of the Vice President nominee.

So I tell him, 'No, you got it wrong, mister, Already got a girl, and her name is Bristol.'
I corrected the person and revealed that I already had a girlfriend named Bristol.

And they all laugh and say, 'Where you been, sonny? Your mother-in-law's a heartbeat from the presidency.'
The people who overheard me laughed and informed me of my situation, where my mother-in-law was closer to the presidency than before.

And I say, 'Mother-in-law? No, we ain't getting married!'
I denied the notion of my marriage to my girlfriend's mother.

They say, 'Soon you will, boy; she just announced it.'
The people revealed to me that marriage was inevitable since my girlfriend's mother had announced it.

I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl's home, I'm gonna lay down the law And tell her what's going on
I rode my dirt bike to my girlfriend's house with the intent of confronting her about the situation.

I'm a fucking redneck, I live to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishing And kill some moose.
I described myself as a redneck who enjoys spending time with his friends, playing sports like hockey, fishing, and hunting.

I like to shoot the shit, do some chilling I guess, You fuck with me and I kick your ass.
I enjoy having casual conversations and hanging out with my friends, but I am not afraid to defend myself if necessary.

So we talk and it turns out we don't believe in abortion And sex outside marriage is against our religion.
My girlfriend and I had a conversation where we revealed that we were against abortion and believed that sex outside of marriage went against our religion.

And when I try to tell 'em I'm eighteen years old, They say, 'Levi, it's too late, You gotta do as you're told.'
Despite me trying to explain that I was only 18 years old and could make my own decisions, the people around me insisted that I had to do as they said.

I get on my dirt bike and ride to my girl's home, Gonna lay down the law And tell her what's going on:
Once again, I ride my dirt bike to my girlfriend's house to confront her and assert my demands.

Yeah, I like to shoot the shit, do some chillin' I guess Kick some ass
I enjoy having a relaxed and casual time with my friends but I am not afraid to fight if provoked.